Thought I Was OK But Now Crashing FAST

[Chibby33]

It's been a month and a half since break up. Thought I was doing ok, followed all the rules about NC, never initiated contact (many of you already know my story). But today I am plummeting and fast. Depression has started to sink in again. My brother who's a psychiatrist already warned me weeks ago about this after I bragged to him how better I was feeling. And so here it is. He told me to let it pass but do not dwell on it. And so I am.

 

I am angry. Angry at my ex for not having the courage to tell me it's over long before he left. Angry at myself for letting him come into my life.

 

I know, really I do, that the pain caused by a break up will pass. It always does, I've been down that road many times. But the pain of being alone again - will I recover? When people pass by, I cannot help but look at their ring finger - they have someone.

 

I thank the people who's given me wonderful advice. However as grateful as I am for your time, it seems that some of you are already in a relationship and that's fantastic. However I really would like to hear from forumers who has recovered a break up, still single and happy.

[Cassie]

Hi sweetie. I'm sorry you're feeling so down. You're probably going to go through a lot of different emotions as you slowly heal from your relationship. We have all been on this road and all dread being here. I'm going through a breakup right now too, and the pain sucks. I also went through a breakup last year and didn't think I'd ever get past it. My self-esteem was so low, and I never imagined I'd get through the nightmare of it. Slowly, month after month I put the pieces back together and now my ex barely ever enters my thoughts. I ran into him this past summer and it didn't really affect me either way. I wasn't happy to see him, but I wasn't sad either. It was just a huge indifference. I learned many lessons from that relationship and it took time to fully comprehend that I deserved happiness and much, much better than what he could offer. I feel so much stronger today from the experiences I went through then.

 

Now another breakup is upon me with a different guy and the same listless, horrid feelings are back. Failed relationships are hard to deal with. We've given a piece of ourselves to someone and it hurts when our hearts are callously abused. Right now my friends are supporting me 100% and reminding me not to dwell. They are a god send as they help me through the lonely minutes and help take my mind off things for a bit. It's ok to grieve and not be ok for the moment. It's ok to be angry at yourself and your ex, at least for a little bit.

 

You're healing, sweetie. There are many people in this world who love you, and you are not alone here on this forum. {{{Chibby}}}

[Blane151211]

Hi Chibby! I'm sorry to hear that you're having setbacks this time. Please remember that you are not alone. I too, am going to what you're going through... you know my full story. One thing that I've learned is that Healing from Breakup is like a see-saw... just like what Ellie said, it is a roller coaster ride. Days will pass by where I am doing OK, no pains, hurts or heartaches at all. I would remember my ex and will smile and say to myself, I'm already healing. But then, days will follow where I will be miserable. You know what I've gone through these past few days. I felt like I was sinking so fast, I felt like I couldn't let go of my ex. I almost broke NC... you know how much I struggled during the past few days to stick with NC...

 

Right now, I am doing OK again. I don't trust myself though that I wouldn't have setbacks anymore. In fact, I'm scared that in a few days time, I'll start sinking again. Just like you, I'm also tired of feeling this way... didn't I tell you that if there's only a magic pill that I could take so that I can heal as fast as I wanted to.

 

This site and a lot of forumers here have helped me tremendously. Please hang in there, Chibby. You can make it... be strong...

[Blane151211]

Chibby, Blane, and Cassie,

 

Hugs to you all ... and sending happy thoughts your way ...

 

Hi Ellie! Thanks I remember you responded to one of my threads... Thanks a lot... appreciate it.

 

Breakup sucks and the pain, hurt, heartache that you go through afterwards is unexplainable at times. I've been through this roller coaster ride for so many times since my ex broke up with me 6weeks ago. I still think of him from time to time... I still miss him. I know that there's always a possibility that one of these days, I'll have my setback once again. I hope I can make it all the way through...

 

Hang in there Chibby...

[tamara78]

Hi Chibby, you are definitely not on your own. I am excatly the same as you -a mnoth and a half of NC, I was fine and then - bam - the tears just would not stop over the last few days. I am feeling a bit better now but like you, I was so surprised as to what had suddenly come upon me and why I was feeling so sad all of a sudden. I think we are at the gireving and acceptance stage - which is the worst and most painful stage. But that is good because it means that we are dealing with it on our own and in a healthy way. It will pass - I keep saying this to myself over and over again. I can not wait for the time when I wake up in the morning and he is not there anymore to haunt me...I am counting the days to that morning...I hope it comes soon for all of us.

 

Lots of love to you all.

[Chibby33]

BLANE, TAMARA, ELLIE and CASSIE!! You are all fantastic and I do not know how I can express my sincerest gratitude for your words of support and encouragement. Reading your thoughts made my feelings completely turn around! Unfortunately in our case, one finds warm comfort from hearing other people's equal sadness. Perhaps it's the feeling of not being alone in this kind of situation. Let's promise each other that we will get through this together.