A thought...

[onelittleladybug]

Im reading the posts here, Ive been reading a lot for the past days. I just noticed something. If you go through the subjects and discussions the majority of them is stating that the dumper is a) selfish, b) a user, c) doesnt deserve the dumpee... etc etc etc.

 

90% of the replies here advocate power struggles/plays.

 

Being that most of us who are on this board are the dumpee... Have you people ever thought about the things that you did in the relationship that contributed to the problems that lead to the breakup? Shouldnt you be focusing on yourself which is something you can change, vs something you cant?

 

You cant hate someone back to you. If you want someone back you have to focus on why you want that and that means focusing on the good things. This is the getting back together board which means most of you want your ex back. It happens. It happens a lot actually. People get back together ALL THE TIME but they dont do so by sitting by their computer focusing on hating, complaining, whining, anger, how they did you wrong.

 

Its late and Im tired. Ive been working 14 hr days from my studio and the only thing Ive done other than work is go on the message boards on my breaks. Maybe I shouldnt be posting this but I have to say that for the past couple days Ive felt like the only NC that would really make sense for me would be these boards.

 

Someone here said that the people who get back together are too busy living their lives to go on here and tell their stories of reconciliation. I am totally convinced thats true.

[sighs]

hahaha too true, it's interesting that, i've never actually read a post about someone who is happy either, it's generally always about the negative, or in other words a place for people to have a good moan, that said, i only post if i actually have a problem lol!

[iceman85]

I think in my case at least I try to be as positive as I can given the situation. Its such a * * * *ty thing to go through you know. I'll be the first to admit my mistakes. And I know I'm not perfect, there were things that I did wrong in the relationship, but I'm glad that I saw that and have worked to correct those issues. However, I still feel the way I do because I feel like I put nothing but my best, and my total love forward for my ex and it basically meant nothing. Also to be basically cheated on while you were doing nothing but giving someone you loved with all your heart will make you a bitter person pretty fast.

[onelittleladybug]

Iceman - I hear you on that. Im not even going to try to protest. Being cheated on really hurts. Ive only been cheated on by someone I didnt really love. I cant even imagine how it would have felt if I loved him and I seriously dont want to find out. I wasnt really referring to your situation in the O.P. I was talking about the rest of us who broke up because of fighting etc.

[ConfusedasEVER]

Iceman - I hear you on that. Im not even going to try to protest. Being cheated on really hurts. Ive only been cheated on by someone I didnt really love. I cant even imagine how it would have felt if I loved him and I seriously dont want to find out. I wasnt really referring to your situation in the O.P. I was talking about the rest of us who broke up because of fighting etc.

 

 

It hurts, like hell (being cheated on by someone you love). However you raise a startling truth by stating in your earlier post that usually the people who get back together are not the ones sitting her posting messages. LOL :splat:

 

 

But anyways, how is your day. ;-)

[laboheme]

Being that most of us who are on this board are the dumpee... Have you people ever thought about the things that you did in the relationship that contributed to the problems that lead to the breakup? Shouldnt you be focusing on yourself which is something you can change, vs something you cant?

 

If I understand your point correctly, there's a discussion of that on this thread:

 

 

 

And as far as people not coming back to tell their tales of reconciliation...if I ever do get another chance with my ex (wishing, praying, hoping), I'll be sure to let you guys know. I won't be able to keep the joyous news to myself, haha.