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ConfusedasEVER

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About ConfusedasEVER

  • Birthday July 27

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  1. "let me know when you're back in town and let's meet up. Give me dates and i'll try to fit in your schedule" Let's meet up sounds as if she'd like to see you. I'd simply tell her when you're available, and meet with her and see what she has to say. If it's to exchange belongings, do that. Don't mention anything about the relationship.
  2. You're right superdave. It's hard to not try and find double meanings sometimes, but I guess when you care about someone you automatically instinctually do that. I didn't really read into it (at first), but it struck me as so bizarre, well.. unexpected actually. I don't know. ;-( I guess I find it hard to believe that after all this time, (especially after some of her antics - she was semi-emotionally distant, selfish and very immature at times -- but I still loved the cheeze doodles out of her) that the thought would even cross her mind that I want these things or that she has anything over here. Oh well.
  3. I don't know if anyone remembers my previous post, but I'll run it by really quick. Broke up with the x-girlfriend about 4 months ago, found out she was maintaining an emotional relationship with someone accross the country. She moved out, took all of her things and we spoke on and off for the first month and a half after the breakup. Following a small ... fling, she broke off all contact and began dating someone else. about 2 1/2 months go by, and I hear nothing from her. Basically NC forced upon me, although I really had no desire to call her, even though I mourned for her very deeply and wanted to get back together. So, about 2 weeks ago, I get a strange text message at midnight, ''hey, do you want your hats back''. I replied no, and went along with my business. We got in a small fight about a week later because her mail keeps coming to my house, and I told her about it. Well, the day I told her about it, she said she'd pick it up, but never showed up as she said she was going to. .... So about a week goes by. This past monday, she text messages me. . . ''I found a lot of your paperwork, do you want it''. Now, I know these should be normal occurrences... but to me they seemed immediately off-color and out of the ordinary. I told her yes, and that I'd swing by and pick them up. An hour later she texted again and asked ''Did I leave a copy of my college recommendations letter there?'' So I figured, oh she probably was looking for that and came accross some of my stuff. But something still doesn't feel right about the whole thing, especially since now all of a sudden she's contacting me for all of these things. I mean, normally, I feel, and a lot of other people do.. that these are things that are taken care of shortly after a breakup, not 4 months later. I don't know what to do at this point.
  4. What a confusing one we have here. LOL. 6 years, is a long time. So naturally, the effect of your absense is going to severely debilitate her. It's like, chopping off someone's arm, and initially they're like. . . . well I really didn't need that. Then they are like ''well wait, where is my arm!?'' Sometimes it is hard to let go of a comfort zone, whether or not the other person is interested still. Some people just can't say goodbye, either because they don't want to face grief/loss, or they're unsure about something. In her case, I'm not sure what it could be. You have to decide whether or not you can maintain contact with her without hurting yourself. If it's too painful, don't. If not, continue.
  5. LOL. THAT is hot. net-speak. Ok, but no really. I'm assuming that you're right, she probably is like ''OMG OMG OMG he doesn't talk to me? " It happens sometimes. How long ago did you guys break up, and how long were you together?
  6. LOL. She may have been sippin' on some sizzerp. BUT, *normally* (what is normal, praytel) ... people do not contact others at 2AM for randomness. Unless she's always been this random, then I'd say, .. well.. .expect anything from her.
  7. I hear yah. At this point, it's becoming very aggitating and un-nerving. As I said, it gets to the point where I forget about her for a couple days and then she sets off fireworks to remind me that she exists. Like, when she found out I was dating another girl (we have mutual friends, whom question me occasionally of what it is I'm up to) . . the same night I told her friend of the new person in my life, I got a text message from her asking if there was any mail for her at the apartment (now mind you she had moved out three months ago - so obviously no mail for her. lol). I guess there's just a lot of things going on that I really don't understand. I do know one solid fact though ----- when you're done with someone, you're done. I remember breaking up with my x-from 2 years ago, and although I found random things of hers in my apartment, I just assumed that she didn't want them anymore and threw them away. And most people, do just the same thing. Small, random objects left behind are obviously not important and thereforeeee should be discarded. So, It's a tell-tale sign, when an X contacts you after all of the smoke clears and the party is over, and they're asking if you if you ''want ", than you can pretty much assume that they are trying to tell you something. Unless they are obsessive compulsive and partially insane. Then we have a whole 'nother thread, toppic, ect.
  8. Drunk? Likely, but no. 2AM = Very personal. Nobody contacts anybody at 2AM unless it's an emergency. So.... personal emergency. Hmm. Ignore her. That's her problem. It appears she's becoming confused with your behavior towards her, and that is good.
  9. Sorry, but what is it with this girl and her constantly utilizing school and running as an excuse? LOL. Yeah, best bet - cut her off. But be prepared that she might actually start... with some strange behavior (I.E. In person visits, bizarre letters, destruction of property), OR she may completely lose interest.
  10. Um, lol. Then why are you asking how to behave around her at a party? LOL, I'd say be yourself, because obviously if she's in bed with you, she's comfortable with that.
  11. 1) Do not mention the relationship. 2) Show mild interest, do not stare, or become intimate in any way. 3) Act within her comfort level, if you can see what I'm getting at. Act how she's acting. But don't make it known that you still have feelings for her unless she specifically asks. 4) GOOD LUCK. Take it easy.
  12. To make an excruciating extremely long and drawn out story short, I lost the 'love of my life' about 3.5 months ago. I found that she had been communicating with someone who lives accross country and that she had professed her feelings towards him, and did not tell me. So, upon confrontation she admitted that she loved this man and was unsure about her feelings towards me. Naturally, I am not going to force someone to stay with me if they aren't willing, so I asked her to remove herself and her belongings from my apartment and assured her that I could not maintain a friendship with her despite my heart's better judgement. Well, things progressively got worse, and naturally I started starving for her, almost lost my job twice, put my life on hold and jumped at her every whim. I started 2 weeks of NC about a month past the breakup, and low and behold she started slowly dropping the usual benign hints that she was wondering what I was up to. (I.E. calling to ask random questions, making herself real obvious to me that she was needing to speak). So, I ... stupidly, went to her house and saw her. I played it cool at first, but of course it was too soon. She behaved as if she was interested, and of course I fell in heartfirst. We met the next day, at her house and were swimming in her pool. We started to get close and then... she dropped a bombshell. ''I just don't want you to be disappointed if we don't get back together'.. OUCH. THAT hurt. So of course, NC began after that conversation. I watched in horror as she began dating someone else, and of course I did not handle that well. But I stayed away and myself started dating other people. So, low and behold 2 months after that debacle, it's Sunday night, 11:30pm, I'm innocently watching TV when I get a bizarre text message on my cell phone. Her: Hey, do you want your hat back? Me: Um, I really don't wear hats anymore. ;-) Her: Okay, just checking, I wanted to make sure before I threw it out, because it wasn't mine to throw away. Me: Well, thanks for asking. Her: yup, np. Now: A little history. We used to fight, a lot. We talked about that the night we went swimming. She said ''I really missed how we used to be, but I don't miss the fighting''. THAT night, she asked me if I wanted my hat back, and I plainly said, ''No.'' We kissed for four hours (before during and after the whole swimming event). Soooo. I can see, that she is being bizarre and asking me if I want a hat back that I've stated clearly that I don't want before, at 11:00PM. I havn't heard from her since (this was a week ago). I havn't been checking on her or ''seeing what her current situation is'', quite frankly because I've %99.9 have moved on. But it seems like for some reason she just won't let me, and I won't let myself. I'm usually an advocate for ''coming out and just asking'' but ... when I think about doing that my heart floods with absolute horror and fear. So, I guess maybe I'm asking for others opinions. ](*,)
  13. I think the next time that she calls, he should just frankly ask her what it is that she needs from him. She has made it obvious that she.... 1) Does not know how she feels. 2) Does not care that HE is being hurt, and is thereforeeee being selfish. 3) Is purposely being mandy-pandy for no reason other than to beat around the bush. He needs to be stern, and protect his heart and tell her that she has one chance, and one chance only, or she will lose him forever. And if she still refuses, then he should follow your initial advice (NC, change numbers, move, run away screaming, pull hair out, move on... )
  14. But Annie, that's kind of almost still, leaving the door open. The, 'no contact unless you're sure' approach usually works if the person is sure that they don't want to get back together. So, we've seen that she is, well unsure. So, by saying 'Don't contact unless.... '', all that is achieved is reassuring that we are keeping our selves open to the other parties insecurity. Sometimes the 'confused/lingering/retarded' X cannot/does not/will not/refuses to understand that they are hurting the other person, weither or not it's intentional. So the only way to get them to make a decision, is to produce immediate severe insecurity. It will also help the other party realise that you are by no means going to be disrespected. Because really, what's happening here, is she is not respecting his wishes. And I HATE stalkers, I have 2. ;-(
  15. Annie, I respectfully disagree in this circumstance. Althought it may hurt him initially to call her out (if he gets a poor response), it will produce results. Because, sadly, if he blocks her on email and her telephone number, there is potential that she may fly off the hook and show up at his residence. Trust me. I've had it happen like 8 times. LOL.
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