Long distance nightmare

[davefromuk]

My dilema is that i have moved to another continet and left the woman i feel in love with at home. Things for the first few weeks were going fine. In the last couple of days things have taken a turn for the worse and i could do with your guys advance.

 

We started dating about 5 months ago, i know its not long but me and her really did get closer than ive been to anyone before. We became huge parts of each other lives. We started to be known in collective terms rather than as individuals, thats an idea of how close we became.

 

We always knew from the start that i would be coming away, and even talked about stopping it before we became to close.

 

Anyway i moved away and we kept the communication levels really high which they still are. In the last week thhough she has started uni again. The reason we have started arguing is because she has taken to hanging around with my friends who she hardly knew quite alot. I know it shouldnt be an issue, just the mind is bound to play tricks on u in this kind of situation. She is going to stay with my friend next weekend for his birthday. Its not like i even get jealous, but when she rang me up the other day really drunk all she could was talk about was what a good night she had had with my mate. I tried to dismiss it but things are def a bit weird at the mo. When i talked about the possibilty of maybe working at the end of my trip for a couple of months she lost it and text me later on saying i dont care. Then later on she text me simply saying going out with your mates tonight. She often does things like that when we are having problems, tries to make me jealous.

 

The problem is i really do love this girl and when we are together it is amazing. Im just not sure whether or not to try and keep the long distance thing going or carry on with this. Were both making each other unhappy, shes unhappy because i have left her at home, and im starting to get unhappy because all i can think about is worrying about her and how shes feeling. Maybe its one of those situations, be cruel to be kind???

 

Any advice would be most appreciated.

[JynX]

Long distance relationships are never easy...but they can work if both of you are willing to put in the effort. From what you've written, it's hard to say whether or not you should keep trying or not.

 

Why does it bother you that she is hanging out with your old friends if you say you aren't jealous? You said that she never used to like them much, and is now all of the sudden spending time with them. I think that is because she used to have you around to be with, but now that you've moved away, who does she have left if not them?

 

Have you talked to her about how you've been feeling? If you haven't, you should. Ask her what she wants. Does she want to continue the relationship or does she want to take a break? What will make her happy? Would she be willing to move to where you are? If you're both unhappy, you need to talk things out.. communication is key, after all.

[davefromuk]

YEah i told her how i was feeling but that i was only being silly. ITs not the issue of her hanging out with my friends, its the fact that shes trying to use it to wind me up. And surely the last thing we need when were an environment like this is games???

[Momene]

I think people in the US are much better at handling long distance than we are in the UK. We just don't seem to tolerate it.