in pain...confused, dunno what to do (little long)

[super_dave0001]

ive posted my story a few times already an got great advice... i decided to go full NC with my ex this week (we were together almost 6 years, broke up 3 weeks ago).. so it was about 2 days into NC and then one of my ex's friends msgs me say my ex said im a coward if im not gonna talk to her and be friends after almost 9 years total of friendship/realationship....

 

im not a coward, but this is really hard for me, she says she still has feelings for me, like she cares about me and everything, but thinks its best that were not in a bf,gf realationship together.... we didnt even break up on bad terms, it was the fact that things between us became boring, we grew distant from eachother according to her.... so who knows if we could get back together if that spark re-ignites in her.... i no ull all say to keep going NC with her and that i need to heal, but in all honesty im pretty well healed. It may seem kinda fast but i can get over things really quick. I adapt to situations pretty well ... i go out with friends now which is sumtin i gave up when i was with my ex.... ive learned alot about myself and her in this time apart.... im keeping my mind off of her by working out, going for jogs with my friends....i honestly in my heart feel she is the 1 for me and she made a mistake that she hasent realised yet

 

we havent seen eachother in the 3 weeks we've bin apart n theres things i use to do for her like call her every morning to say goodmorning to her, n i wonder if she misses any of this. There were other things that facter into the break up, we only saw eachother on weekends, during the week we talked alot, but as time wore on we talked less n less... there wasnt much to talk about on the phone after 6 years i guess... i could have seen her during the week, but i guess i was just to lazy to go

 

another strange thing is that right after we broke up i didnt talk to her for 2 days, n on the third day we talked on msn and she wouldnt stop, it was like we werent even apart, i think if i were to get that spark re-ignited in us both than we could be together again... this whole deal is really confusing cause she does wanna see me in person, but i dont, i even told her dont be surprised if we never see eachother again...thats not wut i want tho.

 

y is she trying to deni her feeling for me? she tried ending this b4 and i did stay in contact with her the 2 monthes we were apart b4 n we ended up back together.... i wonder if the same will happen again.... i really hate "wut if's"....i really feel tho that if i do hang out with her n do fun things with her things will spark up again considering we broke up on good terms and such a cheesy reason to break apart

[tylercdurden2004]

I would hold tight to what you are doing. If you feel you need no contact to get over her then impliment it. NC is about you and only you. Its not about getting her back, its not about making her feel bad its not about her at all.

 

From what you wrote it sounds like she wants a friendship on her terms. I went through this with my recent ex. We were together for 3 years and after we broke up I did NC for 2 months and then she contacted me asking if we could talk (over email). I said "yes no problem, what is it that you want to talk about."

 

Problem is she didnt really want to talk like two adults, she wanted me to answer why we broke up why she didnt understand etc. Simply she wanted me to provide her with the answers. Eventually I emailed her asking her some questions which she never answered. She then sent me an email saying "I think its normal that when 2 people break up they still talk to each other."

 

Of course we can talk but not when its a one way street. I realized this was what our relationship was about, about me being open and her not being open.

 

All I can say is it sounds like she is trying to get you to feel bad for not talking to her and is trying to intimidate you into playing her game. So you're a coward for not talking to her? Maybe email her back and tell ehr she lost that priviledge of talking to you the day she broke up with you, or better yet ignore her BS. You owe her nothing, thats what happens when you break up with someone. End of story.

[super_dave0001]

wut does that mean she wants a friendship on her terms?

i was told by my ex's friend that my ex said this...."if he wants to listen to other ppl and his friends then he's a coward, he should just listen to his heart" she also said she doesnt wanna waste any more of her time if im gonna be like this

[tylercdurden2004]

Where to begin.

 

She likes you: "she says she still has feelings for me, like she cares about me "

 

Yet she doesnt want to be with you? It doesnt make sense to me. She says these things because she doesnt want to hurt you by saying " I dont like you anymore" or " I have found someone else."

 

If she wants to be with she will, plain and simple. She is probably hurt that you dont want to talk to her but if you need time for yourself then you need to do that, irrespective of what she thinks or says. Tell her friends not to contact you either. They werent part of the relationship were they?