do girls ever get tired of oral?

[qwimjim]

last night was 'the night' for my girlfriend and i, like i posted in an earlier thread i don't come from handjobs and blowjobs, how i do rather enjoy the sensations from blowjobs, they just don't get me to that next level of arousal.. yesterday we had a lovely night and came home and went to bed but and i knew she was done with her period but i wasn't getting a hard-on.. i felt really bad because the night was perfect and i didn't want to ruin it for her.. anyways, we cuddled and talked and later on she was caressing down there and things livened up a bit, she started giving me a blowjob and i got hard, i put the condom on and i could already feel myself lose the erection, i put it inside her but within a couple minutes i was soft.. it was very depressing.. so i immediately went down on her, id never done it before but i think i did a good job.. she seemed very pleased.. i teased her at first then worked on her clitoris and then finished fingering her and licking her.. i loved it.. so my question is, if it takes us a while to get the whole intercourse thing down, do women get bored of oral? we see each other nearly everynight.. she could suck my * * * * the same way everynight and i'd be happy but will i have to mix it up to keep her interested and excited? i'm just wondering what you can do differently down there so its not the same everytime.. but is still satisfying?

[pregnantkitty_1985]

Well... why is it that you go soft??? Just need more clarification.

[agent1607307371]

If you do it the same way everytime it could become predictable. Changing it up isn't really hard to do, you can experiment with different mixed of fingers and tongue, different kisses on different areas, blowing sucking humming even. The internet is a wealth of information...

 

Do you often have a (forgive me) hard time keeping an erection? How old are you?

[BornToResist]

I love oral. Me + oral = BFF

 

But if I wasn't having intercourse, and it was a strict diet of oral only, that would get kind of boring (eventually).

[qwimjim]

what are some good/comfortable (for her) alternate positions (besides 69) to the her on her back me on my stomach? regarding the other questions, as i posted earlier, i'm a 21 year old virgin.. i get hard just kissing my gf but a week ago we were going to have sex and i couldn't get it up.. the next morning she got her period.. since then i've had no trouble getting erections and she's given me blowjobs, i've fingered her.. then two days ago she was done her period and yesterday it was obvious it was 'the night', we had a lovely dinner, we danced, we came home and not once the whole night did i get an erection (not tired, i don't drink).. i usually would have gotten one in the car just kissing her so needless to say i got very bummed in bed when i wasn't getting hard and she really wanted to have sex.. we talked and cuddled and eventually she was caressing down there and i got a little hard so she started giving me a blowjob and i got harder, we reached for a condom and by the time it was on i was starting to lose it, i got inside her and it was awful, i could feel myself losing my erection, within a minute or so i was soft so i went down on her immediately and gave her oral.. she seemed to quite like it.

 

reading up on this site it appears to be a psychological thing, nerves or whatever, it seems like it could also take some time to get past so thats why i'm asking about the 'getting tired of oral' thing.. a lot of threads reccomend taking some cialis or something to get some confidence and take the nerves out of the equation, what do you guys think? where do you get stuff like that when you're a healthy 21 year old in canada? i'd rather get past this sooner rather than later, i'm patient, but it sucks for my gf even though she'd never dream of saying or showing it.

[arwen]

My bf was a virgin before me, and 10 years your senior. We took it slow as well. There were a couple of reasons for that:

1. his nerves

2. an invasion of persistent, annoying yeast on my part

3. condoms that a. made me more sensitive to yeast due to a light allergy to latex and b. made him less sensitive where a guy needs to be sensitive when having sex

4. us deciding to get tested for STI's and HIV to get rid of reason 3.

5. getting rid of my fear for getting an HIV test

6. getting our tests and waiting for the results.

 

Ok, so we are 8 months together now and point 6. on this list is 2 weeks ago. Imagine that. We were both negative on all accounts! To celebrate, you can imagine that we practically spent the whole weekend in bed

 

Anyway, we were longtime friends before we got together and did sexual things from the first week on or so. We were certainly 'active' those months, and you know? Because we learned to do so many things without intercourse, we developed a great way of having foreplay and now that we can do all things without worrying, it's been worth all that time of being 'creative'!!

 

Tips!

 

1. if you can't really 'vary' in positions, vary in locations. For actual sex, a small shower like I have is pretty uncomfortable, but for other stuff it's pretty nice! The same holds for cars, lol.

2. add a long massage with scented oil to your sessions

3. ok so add candles and music, but I think you already figured that one out

4. take baths together

 

And oral is really the best alternative to actual sex. In time, I am SURE you will be relaxed enough.

 

Ilse

[qwimjim]

thanks for your post, neither of us is worried about diseases.. the whole nerves thing, i'm just assuming thats what it is from what i've been reading.. i don't actually get 'nervous' or 'anxious' like that funny feeling i get when i'm going to do public speaking or when i kissed her the first time.. oh and how do you perform oral on a girl in the shower??

 

i'm sure it will come in time, but i just hate to make her go through all of this with me, plus it doesn't help that she's 25 and far more experienced than me.. i'm just worried she might get frustrated before the issue is resolved, which is why i brought up the pharmaceutical aids..

[agent1607307371]

A good alternate position is with the man on his back and the woman kneeling over his face. I think it gives him more control over the situation, and less chance of a crick in the neck too!

 

Before you go rushing to the docs, try a cockring. They look scary, but I swear by them. Slip it on when before you get fully aroused and it traps the blood in the penis helping you to stay hard.

[zer0effect]

Trouble getting an erection is probably nerves.

Do you watch or look at a lot of porn and beat-off often? If so, stop, you could be so used to getting aroused by that stuff that the real thing doesn't work.

 

It is possibly your nerves, wanting to get it right, knowing tonight was the night, going on the date, dinner then the expectation. She is older than you and has more experience and you don't want to fail so you fail. Nothing kills an erection quicker than fear and doubt and many girls blame themselves which makes it even more nerve-racking. A little alcohol can help loosen you up, too much will ruin it, try not to put much pressure on yourself and be a little selfish. Try to enjoy the pleasure without the pressing need to please her and impress her - sure that is nice, but getting an erection and using it would be the first step.

 

Im sure once you relax around her you'll be ok and you can perfect your skills at pleasing her. Performing oral can be done anywhere as long as you can get your head in there, ask her how she gets herself off, see how she uses her hand and imitate that with your tongue/mouth, thats a start and go from there.

[qwimjim]

Trouble getting an erection is probably nerves.

Do you watch or look at a lot of porn and beat-off often? If so, stop, you could be so used to getting aroused by that stuff that the real thing doesn't work.

 

i used to look at porn and masturbate quite a bit, almost daily.. i stopped last week when i first discovered things werent working right.. i expected to be the guy that lasts 30 seconds, i never ever dreamed i would be the guy who couldn't get/keep it up or couldn't come from a blowjob.. i do get aroused by her though, i get a hard-on just kissing her most days, and i stay very hard when she's giving me a blowjob..

[Cardinal]

I think ilse has a great point. There is an endless variety of things you can do to switch it up. See how experimental she is. There are a lot of fun thing you can do if she is receptive to the idea of anal stimulation and/or is willing to recipricate on you. Sex toys are also fun to work with.

 

And if she really ends up enjoying receiving oral it can takes months of practice to really get good at it. And the ways to vary what you do are endless. I think it is important if sex is slow to develop to stimulate her to orgasm in different ways. Fingering, manual stimulation, toys, butt play...she won't get bored and you will probably be able to have sex far sooner than you think anyhow.

[BornToResist]

I think ilse has a great point. There is an endless variety of things you can do to switch it up. See how experimental she is. There are a lot of fun thing you can do if she is receptive to the idea of anal stimulation and/or is willing to recipricate on you. Sex toys are also fun to work with.

 

And if she really ends up enjoying receiving oral it can takes months of practice to really get good at it. And the ways to vary what you do are endless. I think it is important if sex is slow to develop to stimulate her to orgasm in different ways. Fingering, manual stimulation, toys, butt play...she won't get bored and you will probably be able to have sex far sooner than you think anyhow.

 

I completely agree. Some of the best orgasms I know of are through oral/toys/finger manipulation. There is endless hours of pleasure you can get if she is open minded and you won't have to have sex.

 

Although once there is no more pressure to perform, you will probably be able to maintain your erection.

 

And another poster mentioned it, but don't be afraid of cockrings.

[qwimjim]

yeah she's not really into butt play and oddly enough, neither am i. thanks for the advice though

[arwen]

I still think it's nerves. Penetration is a VERY different thing emotion-wise than getting some nice work with the mouth. My bf told me that it is not really a conscious way of being nervous. He is not thinking about 'oh, I hope I pleasure her etc'. But deep down, after a few times things didn't really, ehm, 'cooperate' down there, he told me he wasn't relaxed the same way as when we did other stuff. That is partially because with the other stuff, he can lay down, while during most positions with sex, he has to move around a lot. That is new for everyone who has sex for the first time.

 

Just take your time, and really, don't worry about your girl. I think if you treat her with affection, creativity and pleasure, she won't get 'bored' with things. You will both know when it's time to take the next step. I think at some point it will just happen. Don't THINK too much, certainly not when you are 'busy'.

 

Ilse

[angelcake17]

nope! it gets better everytime