qwimjim

after putting a small amount on the outside tip, do you rub it all over or just penetrate?

hey, last night i used a durex avanti polyurethane condom, it was the first time i tried a non lubricated condom and it broke on me. i have some samples of lube (astroglide and some other thicker one) that i got when i bought the condoms.. i'd like to try these condoms again.. just curious, when applying lube, do you just dab a tiny drop on your penis or hand and then rub it all around and slip the condom on? does a little generally go a long way? and do you also lube up the outside of the condom too?

well i doubt i can last an hour without going soft.. and frankly it would really suck if it took me an hour to come everytime. i can jerk myself off in a couple minutes.. we went about 15 minutes last night before it got too soft.. i also don't want to tire her out either.. anyone have any experience with any of this?

hey, as i stated before i'm never at this whole thing and have been working through some problems.. at first i wasn't able to get an erection when needed, then i wasn't able to hold it.. i switched to kimono microthin condoms and seem to be able to stay hard longer with those. originally i'd asked if anyone ejaculates from handjos/blowjobs and it seemed like it wasn't completely abnormal that i didn't.. however, now that we've tried intercourse three times, the last time last about 15 minutes.. i can't say that i felt myself approaching any kind of climax at any point.. is it because i'm wearing a condom? i can't say that i feel anywhere near as much as i'd imagined i would.. i then go down on my girlfriend until she gets off and she in turn goes down on me for a while but i have to finish myself off.. the way i do this is with very fast short strokes with all the pressure on the head of my penis, none on the shaft.. this is just the way i've always masturbated (likely due to having an abnormally tight foreskin that didn't retract completely when erect in my younger years).. i'm beginning to think years of masturbating this way with no other kind of sexual stimulation has wired my penis to only respond to this technique, a technique that can't be replicated during intercourse.. i don't even think my gf could move that fast with her hands, i've had years of experience.. so how do i unlearn this? or teach myself to climax from slower and/or longer strokes? i really want my girlfriend to be able to make me orgasm on her own, especially during intercourse.. i'm sure its bumming her out that i haven't. i stopped masturbating and looking at porn two weeks ago when the whole limp thing was happening.. i thought maybe years of looking at porn had de-sensitized me to the point that having a real life woman in my bed wasn't enough to excite me.. but now i'm thinking maybe i should be masturbating, except using a slower/longer more intercourse like stroke to see if i can teach my penis to react to a different technique?? thoughts?

yeah she's not really into butt play and oddly enough, neither am i. thanks for the advice though

anyone else??

i used to look at porn and masturbate quite a bit, almost daily.. i stopped last week when i first discovered things werent working right.. i expected to be the guy that lasts 30 seconds, i never ever dreamed i would be the guy who couldn't get/keep it up or couldn't come from a blowjob.. i do get aroused by her though, i get a hard-on just kissing her most days, and i stay very hard when she's giving me a blowjob..

thanks for your post, neither of us is worried about diseases.. the whole nerves thing, i'm just assuming thats what it is from what i've been reading.. i don't actually get 'nervous' or 'anxious' like that funny feeling i get when i'm going to do public speaking or when i kissed her the first time.. oh and how do you perform oral on a girl in the shower?? i'm sure it will come in time, but i just hate to make her go through all of this with me, plus it doesn't help that she's 25 and far more experienced than me.. i'm just worried she might get frustrated before the issue is resolved, which is why i brought up the pharmaceutical aids..

what are some good/comfortable (for her) alternate positions (besides 69) to the her on her back me on my stomach? regarding the other questions, as i posted earlier, i'm a 21 year old virgin.. i get hard just kissing my gf but a week ago we were going to have sex and i couldn't get it up.. the next morning she got her period.. since then i've had no trouble getting erections and she's given me blowjobs, i've fingered her.. then two days ago she was done her period and yesterday it was obvious it was 'the night', we had a lovely dinner, we danced, we came home and not once the whole night did i get an erection (not tired, i don't drink).. i usually would have gotten one in the car just kissing her so needless to say i got very bummed in bed when i wasn't getting hard and she really wanted to have sex.. we talked and cuddled and eventually she was caressing down there and i got a little hard so she started giving me a blowjob and i got harder, we reached for a condom and by the time it was on i was starting to lose it, i got inside her and it was awful, i could feel myself losing my erection, within a minute or so i was soft so i went down on her immediately and gave her oral.. she seemed to quite like it. reading up on this site it appears to be a psychological thing, nerves or whatever, it seems like it could also take some time to get past so thats why i'm asking about the 'getting tired of oral' thing.. a lot of threads reccomend taking some cialis or something to get some confidence and take the nerves out of the equation, what do you guys think? where do you get stuff like that when you're a healthy 21 year old in canada? i'd rather get past this sooner rather than later, i'm patient, but it sucks for my gf even though she'd never dream of saying or showing it.

last night was 'the night' for my girlfriend and i, like i posted in an earlier thread i don't come from handjobs and blowjobs, how i do rather enjoy the sensations from blowjobs, they just don't get me to that next level of arousal.. yesterday we had a lovely night and came home and went to bed but and i knew she was done with her period but i wasn't getting a hard-on.. i felt really bad because the night was perfect and i didn't want to ruin it for her.. anyways, we cuddled and talked and later on she was caressing down there and things livened up a bit, she started giving me a blowjob and i got hard, i put the condom on and i could already feel myself lose the erection, i put it inside her but within a couple minutes i was soft.. it was very depressing.. so i immediately went down on her, id never done it before but i think i did a good job.. she seemed very pleased.. i teased her at first then worked on her clitoris and then finished fingering her and licking her.. i loved it.. so my question is, if it takes us a while to get the whole intercourse thing down, do women get bored of oral? we see each other nearly everynight.. she could suck my * * * * the same way everynight and i'd be happy but will i have to mix it up to keep her interested and excited? i'm just wondering what you can do differently down there so its not the same everytime.. but is still satisfying?

Hi I'm a 21 year old virgin. I've been masturbating frequently since i was probably 14. I've never been sexually active before but i have a girlfriend now, she gives me handjobs and blowjobs and although they feel great, they don't make me reved up enough to ejaculate. Is this abnormal? I always thought i would explode the second a girl touched my penis or put it in her mouth, hearing all these stories of guys that cum in seconds, but i seem to be just the opposite. I'm wondering if its because I've been masturbating so long with a particular technique that I've somehow programmed my penis to only respond to that type of stimulation? When i masturbate I generally go slow at first and then when i see something that really excites me i do very very quick, short strokes where i barely pull back the foreskin over my glans (probably three strokes per second) and climax fairly quickly. My stroking is faster than any blowjob could ever be, and faster than i would ever expect any other person to be able to do to me with their hands for any length of time, and faster than I could ever move inside a vagina. I'm worried this means that I won't be able to climax when we perform intercourse?? That my penis needs this high rpm stroking to get it to climax.. Does anyone have any advice? Is intercourse comepletely different? Is there a way to unprogram my penis so that it can ejaculate when a beautiful woman plays with it or puts it in her mouth?? Do most people have no trouble climaxing from handjobs or blowjobs? Also my gf and i were watching seinfeld once and the episode about 'faking orgasms' came up and we talked about it.. she said she's had orgasms from intercourse once or twice (she's 24) but usually only from oral/fingering.. she asked 'did you think i orgasmed the other niight?' (i had fingered her for a few minutes, not rubbing her clit just penetrating her vagina with two fingers, she'd done a lot of moaning and groaning) i said no, she said 'i didn't today we were lying on the couch and i started rubbing her clit and she got very excited and told me where to move my fingers (a little left, up a bit, right there, etc..) and after about five minutes she moaned and squirmed a lot and then forcefully pulled my hand away and just rested her head beside mine breathing heavily on her back.. she said 'now that definitely wasn't fake' with a big smile.. but i dunno, she wasn't even moist?? i have little experience but i always thought women should get at least noticably moist just from being turned on much less reaching orgasm?? i would hate if she was faking just to make me feel better, i really just want to learn how to satsify her.. what do you think?? thanks!