4yr relationship, unique, one more chance maybe?

[prussia1607306440]

It's a very long story. But I have been seing this Turkish girl that I fell in love 4years ago. We have shared everything together (she's muslim and I'm jewish) we even lost our virginity together. We love each other greatly..

 

but 2 months ago she broke up with me (yet we couldn't break up either),and one week later started seeing a new Turkish guy. She never cheated or anything. I had made a great deal of mistakes with her, but she had never spoken to me about the problems she had with me so that I could make changes in them (though I had been trying to speak to her about our problems and solve them for last 1yr she wouldn't let me). This new relationship she has compressed 2years of ours into 2months (and it is definitly not like her, as it took 1year to even get a kiss from her). She had originally said she would wait until christmas to make a decision of staying with me or going with him. But in the meantime we weren't speaking, hanging out or really sharing any moments so she was obviously going to be biased, she was already calling him her bf, and parading him around.

 

In anycase we decided to finally have that talk we should have had 7months ago. We still both know our extreme feelings for each other and said we would enter this talk with objectivity and no decision in our minds. Many of the problems we had that I knew I changed in myself, and made better, and I am willing to change some more things that I know are needed as well (for me). I had also bought a ring for her that she found out about last week.

 

In any case I don't think she will just walk away from her new bf just to come back. But I would like some advice on this talk, how do I get her to see that I am a great option, that now that we have learned from our mistakes and taken this little break, that it is worth it to continue, and that only good can come out of this. If we start communicating. All of the foundation is there, we are best friends, we love each other, we feel safe and secure with eachother, and now we kknow what we didn't like and liked about each other.

 

I have tried to have relationships and screwed them all up in the last 2 months.

 

One other factor is that she is also trying to please her brother and family by being with a Turkish guy (family thing).

 

I would really appreciate any honest advice. as my heart is broken, and as events that occurred friday show me that I will never be able to hold another relationship like this one again, maybe none for that matter.

[Shy_Guy]

Honestly, it sounds to me like she's already moved on. She might not have said anything to you during your time together regarding anything you characterize as 'your problems', but obviously they weighed on her enough to end things with you.

 

The additional dynamic of any pressure her family puts on her is unfortunately entirely out of your control. Whether she's moved on because of your failings, or just as a means to appease her parents, you may never know. It hurts, and you'll probably never get the answers you're seeking, but it's time to begin looking upon this as a memory and a learning experience, something that will prepare you better for the future.

 

Regarding relationships in general, you need to look upon them as a gardener tending his roses. You need to nurture, and feed the relationship, working hard to produce the desired results. It's also a never-ending labor of love. It takes commitment, and day by day management for it to ever work. You'll find the right person, but when you do you need to realize that just finding them isn't enough - the work has just begun. Do the hard work, and you'll reap benefits beyond imagining.

 

Good luck,

[Madison_20021607306440]

I think I might be able to give you some advice. I am in a 3year relationship and I can relate to you in many ways. My boyfriend and I have been going together since 8th grade. We are both of the same religious beliefs, but we come from very different families. My parents are very old-fashion and strict where his parents are very modern and laid-back. We have shared many of the same things that you and your girlfriend have shared. We love each other very much and have very strong feelings for each other. It took us 9 months to kiss. We too were each others first.

We have also had problems, and hard times. We have broken up twice. The first time was because he thought that we were too different people and didn't share enough interests, and because of the differences in the way we have been raised. That lasted one night, and he realized that even though we have differences he still felt the same toward me. The second time was because he was having doubts about "us" and debating on seeing other people, well he then couldn't go through with it and the next day he was back. He and I have constantly questioned ourselves and each other and try to figure out if we are "meant to be". I think your girlfriend is trying to explore and find out more about herself, and I think she maybe trying to find out how she really feels about you. She also may be trying to please her parents or family because I have experienced the same pressure from mine. I do know that if you two are meant to be then she will come back and things will work out. If you truly love someone then you should let them go, and if they come back then you know that its true. Although with some people it may take a little more time to realize it. I think that communication and sharing your feelings with each other is very important and that you should talk about what is going on. Splitting up sometimes makes the relationship better the second time around. I know that women can be very confusing and I will admit that we do have a lot of mixed emotions about things. We are constantly trying to figure out who we are and what we want. So she might be at a stage in her life were she is trying to figure things out. I think that there is still hope for your relationship. I think that communicating is the best thing for the two of you right now, and you need to both be completely honest with each other. Good Luck, and I hope I could help.