She broke my heart

[KymQ]

Confessions of a Loser

 

 

My ex-girlfriend was the perfect girl for me, a young 18 y/o ballet dancer with a great body and a very pretty face as well. She was extremely intelligent and easy to talk to but the best part was that she loved sex, almost more than I did. She wanted to do it before and after we went out even if my parents were home! She wasn't a slut or anything, she was just very sexual but still classy at the same time. Needless to say I fell in love with her right away and I think I made the mistake of telling her the dreaded "three words" way too soon in our relationship. That was my first mistake. She was the first girl I felt that way about; somehow I knew it was true. Even though she eventually told me she loved me too I always felt that the words were somehow hollow and she only said them to make me feel better and she never said them before I did. She told me that she had sex with eight other guys before me and all her relationships ended badly. She even told me exactly how she acted with all of them giving me some clue (even though I was too blind to listen) what she would do if we ever broke up. So I was being played by an 18 year old girl But I didn't care, I thought what we had was so different, that I was special and I would keep her happy and she would love me forever. Haha. What an idiot I was. What a Jerk. Now that I think about it I loved her even more because she wasn't so attached to me, never bringing up relationship talk or getting clingy. On the contrary, I was the one being clingy and acting like a chick! What a fool I was. When she said she had to go away for college I was left gasping and unsure what to do. When the months started passing by I was desperate to see her. She begged me to fly up to her and I was willing to spend all my savings just to see her again so I spent over $500 to go to her college during her spring break . IDIOT!

When I got there it turns out that she had some kind of "female problem" and we wouldn't be able to make love. In fact she was very cold and emotionless with me and she hated the fact that she was there and couldn't leave; so I was stuck there, she was stuck there and we couldn't even have sex to boot. On the second day she decided to break up with me and I flipped out. I bought a whole bottle of rum and got super drunk and I became a raving lunatic on the street throwing whatever I could pick up and eventually vomiting uncontrollably. I couldn't believe she dragged me all the way up there just to break up with me! Bitch! She toyed with my head until the last day I was there when she flipped around completely and was super sweet and incredibly loving. Everything was the way I dreamed it could be, she was smiling the whole day and we laughed at everything. We even had amazing sex that last night.

 

When I got back home I didn't know what to feel and when she called me I was sort of upset. Except for that last day I basically threw away all my money for her and a bad time. She stopped talking to me after that conversation. I tried desperately to apologize but she wouldn't speak to me at all, completely shutting me out. She wouldn't answer my phone calls or emails. I couldn't believe she would cut me off so suddenly. I was confused and heart broken. Deep down I don't think she ever loved me and after the break up I know this is probably the truth.

 

Well, since then (11 months) I still think about her and although I've been with 6 other girls since the pain hasn't completely gone. None of them seem to match up to my Emily. She was the perfect girl. I can only hope to find a mediocre substitute.

 

So now, after all this time she has contacted me back via email telling me she's been with another guy and she's in love with him. I almost threw up while reading it. Questions keep popping into my head. Who is he? What does he have that I don't? Did she ever have any feelings for me at all? But I know these questions are pointless and I should move on with my life. I try not to fantasize about her and I keep busy with work and other girls. Love sucks.

[envy_selene]

Look, that is utterly ridiculous. There are plenty fo girls like Emily, they love acting perfect, making a male (or multiple ones) completely infatuated with them and then pulling away. It's a power game, caused by emotional instability and there's nothing you could have done to change it, she led you on to get the rush and then threw you by the side of the road for another surge of power.

Why would she leave for college, treat you terribly after coming all that way, "breakup", and then have sex with you on the last day? Then refuse to take your calls, and then mail you telling you that she was in love with another man?

She's cruel, and it was her fault. Never blame yourself for girls like that, as it will definitely take time to heal. Simply look for a sweet, lovely girl who doesn't play mind games.Kym, they're rare but they're out there and they'll be a superb upgrade to "Emily".

[Emmylu]

Hi Kym, I'm responding to your post because I see so much similarity between your story and what I have been through, except I'd be the girl. Your post reads like what my ex-boyfriend might say, but I know there's another side to the story - her side. Sex confuses people. You two did not connect on a deep level, and it doesn't seem you had a trusting friendship either. If you still care for her, have you consider building a true friendship with her?