Considering I would love to get back with him should I reply to his e-mail?

[usababe]

I posted about this on another thread but didn't get much of a response so I'm hoping I can get more advice here.

My ex broke up with me because he was unsure if he wanted a relationship, I never begged or pleaded with him or anything just applied NC. A couple of months after that he contacted me saying he made a mistake, was thinking about me etc etc but was still unsure of what he wanted so nothing came of that and I applied strict NC again until awhile back I sent him a casual text asking how he was, he replied instantly and we spoke for hours it was like old times, chatting and teasing eachother.

 

Then a few months passed again and I've just received a forward e-mail from him. I don't know if he expects me to respond to this now or what. I would love to try with him again so I don't wanna completely ignore his attempt to contact me, but I don't wanna get my hopes up either. My friends are telling me to send him a casual forward back but I don't know. I've been getting on with my life and dating other people but this has thrown me a little now because I thought we would never have contact again. Is he just being friendly or could it mean more?

[itsallgrand]

No, it doesn't mean more. It just means he sent you a forwarded email.

 

I'd ignore it. No worries, it isn't mean or rude, people don't answer back to forwarded emails all the time.

 

You're doing good. Stay strong. If he wants to talk to you to get back together, he'll be direct about it.

 

He could be testing the waters, or just being a twit.

 

If you truly want to move on: take the plunge and block him or change your email. Try it, you'll see, you can end these games.

[g44]

a casual forward? and yes, i would contact him.

[amtjrtcet]

I agree with itsallgrand. Don't read too much into it. And don't respond. Let it go. If he wants to be with you then he'll make more of an effort then an email.

[NJRon]

FW are FW... I think they take very little time and, thus, show little (if any) consideration. If you received an actual email, I would be more optimistic.

[usababe]

G44, what I meant by a casual forward is, a funny e-mail I received from someone else that I can forward on to him

[usababe]

FW are FW... I think they take very little time and, thus, show little (if any) consideration. If you received an actual email, I would be more optimistic.

 

I know and I agree but why even bother?, he never had to make contact with me again

[NJRon]

Because he is trying to reach out, but at the same time, unsure of himself. Don't fall for it. If he was sure of himself.... he would *directly* reach out.

 

It's called "testing the waters"... but... wait for someone who will dive in.

[annie24]

I agree with the others - don't respond. It's just a forward, didn't take more effort than a push of 1 button. if he really reaches out to you (ie, an e-mail that he actually wrote!) then maybe consider writing back....

[usababe]

Because he is trying to reach out, but at the same time, unsure of himself. Don't fall for it. If he was sure of himself.... he would *directly* reach out.

 

It's called "testing the waters"... but... wait for someone who will dive in.

 

Testing the waters... for what? to see if I've moved on? to see if I'm still waiting around for him? Will it do so much harm if I just say hi, how've you been back?

[annie24]

Testing the waters... for what? to see if I've moved on? to see if I'm still waiting around for him? Will it do so much harm if I just say hi, how've you been back?

 

don't respond!!!

 

he didn't ask you any questions, like hi, how are you, how's it going? no. not even that. it is a forward, not a sign his love for you is still there.

 

sometimes exes send forwards just to see if you'll still write back. or maybe he wasn't even thinking at all! maybe he just thought this was a funny joke you would like, and that's it. perhaps he wasn't even thinking beyond that.

 

just because an ex wants to see if they can still get a response from you doesn't mean that they are remotely interested in getting back together. some exes just like to feel like they still have you around their little finger. not cool.

[annie24]

look at it this way - do you have any friends you send forwards to? and what happens if they don't respond to it? nothing. you don't assume they are mad at you just because they didn't respond to a joke.

 

if he wants to get a reaction out of you, he needs to send something far more personalized.

[usababe]

I know what you mean it's hard though cos I think even though I have been getting on with my life, subconsciously I have been hoping for any sort of communication with him. It's just messing with my head because we never sent these e-mails to eachother while we were dating.

I gave out to him last time he got my hopes up too (saying he might have made a mistake) so maybe this is the safest way for him to contact me

[annie24]

he never sent you random forwards when you were dating?

[usababe]

Nope, that's why I'm so confused by it now. We did have an LDR though so we spoke on the phone, e-mailed and spoke on msn every day

[annie24]

I think *all* you can gather from a forwarded e-mail is that he doesn't hate you.

 

don't read too deeply into it.

 

what was the forward he sent you by the way?

[majord23]

I think annie is right on the money with her advice (no surprise there ).

 

If he had something of substance to say or ask, he would come out and say it. I think forwarded emails are just a way of staying visible without actually saying anything OR are forwarded on because the sender genuinely believes that the receiver will get something out of the material being forwarded.

 

Let this one slide.

[usababe]

Yeah I spose at least that's something. We didn't have a bad break up though, I think we both still have alot of respect for eachother I think he's just very immature for his age and really doesn't know what he wants. The problem is I've never met anyone in my life that I've had such a connection with and it's difficult to just ignore him.

It was just an e-mail with some jokes.

[majord23]

But you're not ignoring him, he hasn't actually said anything for you to reply to.

 

If he had forwarded an email and asked you how you were, then perhaps a response would be necessary. As it stands, he forwarded some jokes. I receive several forwarded emails a day from friends that I don't respond to - likewise I may forward emails that I don't expect a response to...

 

...it (the lack of reply) means absolutely nothing from either side.

[mykeyg]

At the very least he's letting you know where he stands when you're together. He may not want to commit to you for any number of reasons but I think he clearly cares for you. I was like this with a girl for three years maybe not to the extreme of your ex but not far off. I wish but I don't think my ex feels the same way about me but one thing seems to be clear, despite the fact that you're getting on with your life you still have a clear desire to be with him. Try to pinpoint what it was that went wrong the last time. Was it lack of communication or honesty? I guess what I'm trying to say is that this guy appears too important a part of your life to ignore him or burn bridges. And if he is the one for you then grab it by the scruff of the neck and make it happen.

[usababe]

I think it was lack of communication, but I also think he may have some sort of commitment issues. I think I may have been his first gf and he's 26, he's quite shy, he told me his friend had to literally drag him over to talk to me and even at that he let his friend do all the talking.

The problem is I'm the same myself, maybe that's why I felt such a connection with him I really felt we understood eachother and I've never met anyone that has such a similar sense of humour as me but he did and we always knew how to make eachother laugh.

Anyway I know I've gotta keep thinking this more than likely means nothing it's just difficult.

[majord23]

usababe,

Going back to the title of this thread: "Considering I would love to get back with him...", it is safe to say that not replying to him will have absolutely no bearning on the outcome of your situation.

 

Jumping and replying to any crumb of contact he sends however, may make him feel secure in the fact that you are there for him. Don't give him that security, unless you are in the process of getting back together.

[annie24]

usababe,

Going back to the title of this thread: "Considering I would love to get back with him...", it is safe to say that not replying to him will have absolutely no bearning on the outcome of your situation.

 

Jumping and replying to any crumb of contact he sends however, may make him feel secure in the fact that you are there for him. Don't give him that security, unless you are in the process of getting back together.

 

I agree 100%! well said!

[usababe]

That's pretty much what my gut has been telling me, thank you.