question about loving/being "in love"

[psu11]

when a person ends a relationship because they love the other but they're NOT SURE if they are "in love"....does the NOT SURE mean:

 

they need time apart to see if they are really in love?

confused about their feelings?

they already made up their mind and they truly know they are not "in love" with their partner?

or is some other reason im not seeing??

[Scout]

I hate to say this, but what it probably means is the person privately feels pretty sure they aren't in love anymore, and are trying to let the dumpee down as gently as possible.

[amtjrtcet]

yeah, scott said it.

[BillyJean714]

When someone says they're not "in love" with their partners, and they end their relationships based on that, then it usually means they're not feeling the relationship anymore.

 

Falling out of love can happen for a few reasons. The Either person:

 

A. Never really felt the sparks to begin with.

B. Includes A, but they string the other person along anyway.

C. Due to their partner's infidelity, they so turned off that they fall out of love.

D. They feel sick of being mistreated.

 

I hope you're dealing with your situation okay. Best of luck! Hang in there..

[Batya33]

I think it is a euphemistic way of saying "I am not sure if I love you in a romantic way." It also could mean that that person likes the high of head over heels and makes a quick exit when that fades. What I would do if someone said that to me is treat it as a break up, begin the healing process, and move on. If he then decided he had made a mistake, he could contact me - I would not want to hear "now I know I am in love" but rather "I know I want to be with you and want to make this work" The "in love" part is too abstract/vague for me to understand as "I want to be in a committed relationship with you."

[chai714]

I agree with Scout.

 

But, I will still address your questions:

 

when a person ends a relationship because they love the other but they're NOT SURE if they are "in love"....does the NOT SURE mean:

 

they need time apart to see if they are really in love?

confused about their feelings?

they already made up their mind and they truly know they are not "in love" with their partner?

or is some other reason im not seeing??

 

No, they don't need time to see if they're really in love. You either are, or are not. Confused about their feelings usually tranlates in confused how to break it to you that you're not needed anymore.

 

I posted long ago about the psychology of breaking up from a dumpers perspective. Let me see if I can dig up that link and if I find it, I'll PM you.

[Day_Walker]

As what others have said it would seem like the dumper is letting down the dumpee easily, what is being said that is "they are not interested in having a relationship any longer and wish to move on." Not sure means that they do not love that person anymore, but in a round about way.

[sparkle1]

I too agree with Scout...however....sometimes distance can make the heart grow fonder, so a break to reflect on your feelings may make things clearer...and thereforeeee you may just realise you are 'in love'

 

HAte to mention this - but i used that line once...knowing i was no longer 'in love'...and i did do it to let him down gentler....