How to not go forward with a relationship

[LostInMyThoughts]

Okay, I went on two dates this weekend with two different girls.

 

The first was my coworker, which I really enjoyed.

 

The second was with a friend of a friend, and it went okay.

 

It was only our first date, but I wasn't really feeling it. I'm not sure how to proceed with this.

 

My friend is saying not to call her, and not to answer the phone and hopefully she will get the hint.

 

I guess i'm not good with this part, because I really can't be mean to people who are nice to me. I know it's not being mean, but I still feel like I'm being mean.

 

Any advice would really be appreciated.

 

Thanks!

[hosswhispra]

If you speak with this girl again, you could tell her that you have to deal with some things (don't elaborate on what they are) and that you can't date or be in a relationship right now because of those things. It takes the focus off of her and lets her down gently........(Just think how you'd want to find out that someone wasn't into you).

[renaissancewoman101]

I agree with hosswhispra, be gentle and let her down easy. Dont be like the guy who I went on a first date with. He took a look at me, asked me some questions and basically told me that I didnt fit his criteria. Then he fled the scene. This took a matter of 20 minutes. Ugh!

[FortunateOne]

Everyone is correct, be sincerly kind. It works for me

[WorkNProgress]

Let her down easy, you never know perhaps she is feeling the same as you? She may just want to keep it on a friends level? You never know. But the ignoring is definitely not good.

[doyathink]

Have you thought about trying a second date just to make sure. First dates are hell, you dont know each other and it is awkward!

 

If you find her attractive give it another shot, if it turns out so-so, then say...NEXT!

[LostInMyThoughts]

thanks everyone for the replies.

 

She is attractive, but I dont know, I didn't get a good vibe while talking on the phone, and talking in person didnt really seem all that great.

 

I wonder if its because I'm still reeling from my date last night...

 

I should definitely sleep on it.

[doyathink]

Hey Lost, good luck man...keep up updated....we like the mushy stuff here! LOL

[librarychick]

If you didn't get a good vibe, chances are she didn't either. If you didn't end the date with an "I had a nice time. We should do this again sometime. I'll call you." I don't see the need to take any other steps. If she does call, just let her know honestly, you thought she was nice, but you just didn't feel that "click".

[MaeMae]

I agree with library chick. Also, don't make excuses to try to spare her feelings. It won't make things any different and if she's the least bit intuitive, she'll see right through it. Besides, if she really likes you and you say something like, "I just don't have time for a relationship now because of these other things I'm dealing with." she may still hold out hope that you'll come around when you get those 'things' dealt with.

[Spawn]

if you are going to a date thinkin you will "click" on the first date itself.....think again.

 

second shot might be full of surprises you never know...

[zer0effect]

Make up some BS about how you have feelings for an ex or something like that and now might not be a good time. There is no way to not hurt someone's feelings, but you can lessen it a bit to give them some sort of way to justify it in their heads. Sounds horrible but it is true. Unless you dislike her for something obvious that you should tell her, you know to help her in the future, then give her something to blame it on beside leaving it all on her. Sometimes people aren't cut out for each other, its not that big of deal.

Also it isn't a bad idea to leave that door halfway open incase things with the other girl do not pan out. That way you can call her up later and tell her how you have been thinking about her and what a mistake you almost made by letting the stupid past ruin your life, something like that.