My ways

[Rajjj_2005]

I joined this forum recently to seek some peace and may be little bit of advice from the forum. I have gone through the problems being told by other members and not surprised to find many of the problems similar to what I feel is a big problem in my life. I am narrating my experience in very few lines and hope this is enough to get started

 

I am a married man and very fast approaching to 40. Before marriage I had very big dreams about married life with lot of colors spread around. In India it is a dream comes true if we have friendship/affair before marriage and in my case it was not there. After marriage I have realized that it is better to stay alone and try to live in your fantasies . The problem here is similar to what other people narrate in this forum.

 

My wife is ill-tempered, short-sighted and frigid. The other necessary ingredients of happy married life like love, sex are also mixing. Whereas due to all this type of happenings, my mind has got totally aligned towards sexual fantasies. I do watch porn whenever I am alone and I have also become a regular smoker. I have kept everything hidden from my wife as I am very much aware of her tolerance level. Apart from sex I also fantasize about a very good long-distance friend with whom I can share day to day happenings in my life and who is not interested in knowing about my whereabouts. I seek from forum about the advice / guidance to live this life happily. I think I have already defined my happiness and I am content to live in this type of environment as thinking of divorcing her is extremely difficult here in India. Do you feel that I have compromised my life due to sake of society or the way chosen by me is OK till I don't have negative feeling about my life? Is any one there to under stand my problem? From email removed

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Unfortunately there are a lot of people who get married for the wrong reasons (society pressure, don't want to be alone, money, prestige etc) and they live unhappily with their choices. Divorce is hard but I think it is a lot harder to live with someone you don't love and don't even like very much. I don't know much about divorce laws in India. Is your wife happy? Have you spoken to her about your feelings. Maybe the two of you should talk about things.

[bigredvick]

Crazyaboutdogs has said it all

[Momene]

Having been to India on business, I know what it's like, so can sympathise. If you can't divorce, try to find other interests in life outside of sex.

[Rajjj_2005]

Dear Friends & Councillars

 

Thanks for your advice . Shall I draw the conclusion that "the life is like this only & show must go on ".

[Momene]

Dear Friends & Councillars

 

Thanks for your advice . Shall I draw the conclusion that "the life is like this only & show must go on ".

 

To some extent, YES but you can try other improvements, like career or outside interests.