Extreme remorse

[mustache]

Hi fellows

 

I am 39 and my wife is 49, living together for 18 years. In 1995 I felt

cheated on by her, in 2004 I started to cheat as a revenge, in 2006 stopped

cheating because I found out I was wrong.Now I am feeling strong remorse and regret.

This remorse is killing me and it's hard to look on her eyes

Confessing her would lead to terrible consequences

I wanna be faithful and good again, but I can not deal with this pain

 

Mustache

[WildChild]

How do you cheat for that long and not get caught? Why did you think she was cheating on you, and with that reason how come you cheated on her for that long to only figure it out now that she hadn't? Why now does the remorse kill you after all this long?

[Hope75]

Hey There Mustache,

 

Welcome to enotalone!

 

Hmmm... this is a tough one.

 

I have to ask- if you thought she was cheating in 1995- why did you sit on that feeling for 9 years and then cheat "as revenge"? My gut feeling on this is that your affair had nothing to do with what happened with your wife in 1995, but may be a convenient excuse to try and justify what happened.

 

Do you want to talk a little bit more about your affair and how that all got started?

[yeawutever]

So on 1995, you felt you were getting cheated on by her, why didn't you at confront her about it?? Either way, cheated on not, it would still not qualify you to cheat back. Remember, two wrongs don't make a right.

 

But what I'm wondering the most is how were you able to keep the affair for 2 years (that's very long) and your wife never even suspecting it, most would get caught very fast.

[mustache]

So on 1995, you felt you were getting cheated on by her, why didn't you at confront her about it?? Either way, cheated on not, it would still not qualify you to cheat back. Remember, two wrongs don't make a right.

 

But what I'm wondering the most is how were you able to keep the affair for 2 years (that's very long) and your wife never even suspecting it, most would get caught very fast.

 

Because I didnt have an affair with a only girl

I have had some girls on my travels

Nobody besides me knows that but it hurts me even more

I thought I could only be crazy to cheat on her

Now I have no choose. Eighter confesser her or keep this terrrible secret that is driving me crazy

 

Mustache

[yeawutever]

I didnt have an affair with a only girl

I have had some girls on my travels

Nobody besides me knows that but it hurts me even more

I thought I could only be crazy to cheat on her

Now I have no choose. Eighter confesser her or keep this terrrible secret that is driving me crazy

 

Now that makes it more tough. If you don't confess you might put both you and her at risk of catching an STD. I suggest get tested right away and avoid sexual activities with your wife for the meantime.

[mustache]

I got tested last week and have no SDT. Is it valid to be a better husband and hide this secret from her ? Now I know I love her more the ever

Mustache

[rightfromthestart]

another side of guilt, shame and pain can be seen

 

i left a post in

 

the cyber section...email accounts...

 

enjoy

[yeawutever]

I got tested last week and have no SDT.

 

Get tested again in 6 more months and avoid sexual contact with your wife. If it comes clear and indeed you do have remorse and there's no way of her finding out, if you can handle the guilt to your grave then do so.

[n83]

It's possible to survive infidelity, but she needs to be committed to trying to make it work. Do you have children together? What incentives can you offer her to try to stay and make it work? Is she adamantly opposed to infidelity, or does she think there may be times where she can forgive it?