Is this just a period sex excuse?

[inthecorner]

Hey if uve followed my posts you will have an idea wot im going through. basically gf does not like sex or much closeness.

 

Does the following sound like an excuse 2 you.

 

Had a night planed 4 sex 2night. plan been made a few days. seen her a bit n every time we start 2 get close shes been like wait till friday. Fridays come and ive got let down once again. Not sure if i can take anymore.

 

called at 5.30 everthing sound ok

from 8 till 12 im at work btw

 

by 9.00 get a txt saying shes on her period so no sex.

What are the chances. does that sound like bs or what? She asks if i still wanna come round in the txt. n i reply with yes. - is this even possible.

 

she replies with cool love you. could watch a dvd.

 

she starts txtin sayin shes tired round about 11:30

 

i tell her i will b at hers bout 12:30

 

she replies. bloody hell hope i am still awake.

 

i call her when i finnish n cant get an answer. Shes fallen asleep or so she wants me 2 think. lol

 

Wot you rekkon? well planned excuse not to sleep with me and then not see me or the truth. does not seem 2 likely 2 me.

would be if this was not the first time. but after 10 months of only havin sex once n sleeping round her house 3 times and counting u begin 2 wonder. am i just being paranoid or would you worry.

 

thoughts pls, thanx in advance. don't know wot id do without u lot. u keep me sane n make me realise its not all me being rediculous. only question is why do i keep letting my self get let down like this. Why do i keep hoping things will change. starting to doubt my own self respect 2 be treated like this. My heads messed. i wanna be with her, so bad. n my cries r being ignored. surely if u loved sum 1, like she says she does. you would wanna make them happy? whats a bit of sex or even closeness, sharing the same bed every now n then, 2 stop all the arguments we keep having over it. its not like parents are even in the way, shes got her own uni room. Usually her excuse is tired 4 work n b4 exams.

 

if only she could understand how painful it is not 2 be loved in a physical way when u love the person so much. and worry constantly if you will ever experience a moment with her again. or worrying if u are wasting ur time. can't really do any more whining 2 her. it will only make me luck weak n just drive her away further.

 

i'm thinking one more chance. shud i tell her that. or just act like everythings cool, tell her its cool n these things happen so 2 speak.

[lost_status]

Hey!

 

Maybe shes not ready, maybe shes making these 'plans' to keep you interested but deep down inside she isnt ready to have sex. I think you should talk to her about it. Let her know how you feel.

My boyfriend always lets me know that we will have sex when I say Im ready, and that sex to him isnt a big issue and he is just happy being with me.

Maybe you can do the same to her?

 

Just my opinion anyway

[Rabican]

Ill assume that you have already spoken to her about this? What is her reason for not having sex... she just doesnt want it, or not ready or what?

 

If she is holding out for emotional reasons.. ie waiting for marriage, or love then you can either respect that and wait, or not.

 

Now if she just isnt a sexual person, and you are having problems with this NOW then what on earth are you gonna do after 5 years of this? Youll be pulling your hair out... or as that one college movie said (cant remember the name of it) hes so horny hes turned mean.

 

I would tell her look, if you dont want to have sex then just tell me. Dont get me all revved up thinking were gonna have sex on friday, and then suddenly OOPS GOT THE RAG. so have sex anyways...

Sounds to me like sex is a big deal for you, and not a big deal for her. For me that would probably be a deal breaker... I rather like sex now that Ive actually had it... and wouldnt be happy being in a relationship only having it once per 10 months. Id rather have my freedom and my hand than a sexless relationship.

 

Bottom line, if you love her then tell her how you feel, just tell her whatever you would post here. Give her some time to come around, but if it just doesnt happen... then maybe you had better end it before you invest too much time.

[xprincessbugx]

She doesn't seem like she's ready to have sex with you. She doesn't want to let you down and still wants you to want her.

[Rabican]

i just read the bottom of your post more thoroughly... sounds like youve discussed this already.

 

ya i would just tell her look, either things change or were done. Not to be mean, and not to force the sex on her, but maybe she just doesnt REALIZE how important it is for you. And if she does realize, and still not willing to change, then you probably arent compatible.

[mysteryman]

Sounds like she isnt ready, and this plot kind of happened in Entourage, one of the guys girlfriend pretended to be on her period to get out of sex.

[itsallgrand]

'kay, first of all though, what is up with planning a specific night for sex?

 

Here's what I get:

*Sex is important to you, and perhaps you are putting a wee bit too much pressure on her to do it, hence killing any of her desire to

*She isn't ready to have sex with you right now

*Yall are having some communication problems

 

Are you thinking of ending this relationship based on the fact that she does not have sex with you?

 

Hey, if sex is important to you, okay. It's important to lots of us. You need to have a frank discussion with her about this though. The pushing you are doing, and the avoidance she is doing, will add up badly.

 

Perhaps you aren't compatible. It happens all the time.

 

peace

[inthecorner]

Are you thinking of ending this relationship based on the fact that she does not have sex with you? (itsallgrand)

 

To be honased i just want to know the truth. Feels like shes lieing to me and not telling me the real reason. and the fact that i believe if you love someone enough maybe im being hypercritical here though. You would do anything 4 them to make them happy.

 

It feels like i've tried everything. i've split up with her, let her back and shes still not prepared to make me happy. Isn't that a big enough wake up call? wouldnt she fear loosing me 4 good.

 

Whats her reasons. My brains in over drive. Does she get off on the drama? know im 2 much of a * * * * * 2 leave 4 good? Feels loved if i'm staying with her and not having sex? Wants a boyfriend just for the sake of having a boyfriend, so she can report back home that shes successful, or something? Testing my commitment and love?

 

Or we may just be totally different. She does not seem to value a relationship like I do. does not need closeness, does not need sex. Does not need me for anything.

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

eh?

 

I think she likes you, but doesn't want sex. If you care about her, you'll sensitively talk to her about it - that you think she's making excuses, you UNDERSTAND and DON'T MIND, and then, you talk about it.

 

Good...luck...

[inthecorner]

We had a good talk about it. She said that i was being way to pushy to the point of her feeling harrased. Seems like we need to go back to basics and get to know each other better. She said that she got the impression that sex is all that i wanted. Its not true, but obviously an issue because its something i want and is on my mind alot and is affecting my happiness.

 

Anyway we ended up having sex last night and it was amazing. But before, she said she was still on the rag. It looks like shes trying to keep things interesting, and playing games. Which im not 2 attracted 2. I made an effort not 2 be pushy and she said she was not on the rag and pulled out a condom. Hope things get better from here. She said surprises are better.

 

Dont really now how to play things frome here. should i just act all relaxed and quit mentioning it. Best just 2 see how things go. Its causes big problems between us but is something i can't just get off my mind. Kinda resentment towards her. Makes it hard for us to just chill, when we've got these worries n got these problems. I'm allways going 2 be horny 4 her, after all shes the only girl i can be with when im in a relationship with her.

[Deviant_Kate]

maybe you need to put yourself in her shoes for a second, pal. Imagine being with someone who expects you to just lay back and open your legs. How must it make her feel to hear crap like "if you really loved me, you'd have sex with me." Sex should not be the most important thing in your relationship. I'm amazed at her patience - I'd have dumped you for acting like this.