how would you react if this happened to you?

[sfindependent]

me and my ex have been on good terms lately, and our supposed 2nd year anniversary is coming up. We've never established NC so I kinda figured that "what the heck, I'll give her something special" for the occasion.

 

She loves watching Dr. Phil and I looked around for an awesome gift that would make her happy, so I found this company that does singing telegrams!

 

yes, singing telegrams. I'm gonna surprise her on our day with a Dr. Phil look alike and he's gonna bring balloons and will sing "you've got a friend, peaceful esay feeling and Leaving on a jet plane. for her.

 

Just wanted your opinon on this...

 

oh and yes, that thing was friggin expensive! 200 buckS!!!!!

[sfindependent]

oh yeah, and leaving on a jet plane is one of the "special songs", we had a guy from the street with a guitar sing it for us a long time ago and we kinda danced in the middle of a street in SF along with it... and we both love the eagles and james taylor was a cd i gave her for our first month anniversary.

 

u think she'll like it?

[laboheme]

You idea is adorable!!! However, I don't know if I would recommend it...Are you doing it as a way to rekindle the relationship? If so, were you the dumper or the dumpee? If you were the dumper, I think it's a really cute way to show her that you remember, that you care...but if she was the one who dumped you, this could come off as overly melodramatic and desperate...

 

But I still maintain that it's SUCH an adorable idea...

[Giant]

You idea is adorable!!! However, I don't know if I would recommend it...Are you doing it as a way to rekindle the relationship? If so, were you the dumper or the dumpee? If you were the dumper, I think it's a really cute way to show her that you remember, that you care...but if she was the one who dumped you, this could come off as overly melodramatic and desperate...

 

But I still maintain that it's SUCH an adorable idea...

 

I agree, with the fact that it is a great idea and it may put a smile on her face (KEY WORD IS MAY), I also agree with the fact that you will have to be careful. If you were the one that was dumped, then she may think that you may be desperate to get back together. If you were the one who dumped her, then it is like saying "I'm sorry, can you forgive me?" It may be showing that you still appreciate, care and have love for her.

 

If this is not for rekindling the relationship, then it is a nice way to show that you remember her bday and that you care for her and hope that she has a nice day on her bday. BUT, I agree with laboheme, you may have to watch your step veeeeeeeery carefully if you are trying to rekindle the relationship.

[sfindependent]

well, sort of rekindling it in a way, but we both know its not a good idea to get in a relationship right away. the past few days we've been sharing somethings about ourselves we never knew about the other person. so I guess its starting out as a friendship. Yes I was the dumpee, but then again, it wasnt just me whos been initiating the contact.

 

however, tonight, she's been acting up. or maybe i'm just getting a little irked.

 

she said she was going to a party tonight with her friend (a girl) and we both agreed we'll call each other if a)im headed home from work, and me MIGHT get together after the party or b) when she got home from the party. well, i just called her up and found out she's in the city, and not at the party and when she picked up the phone said "i'm at the city, i'll call u later" and click. was that kind of rude? or what? am i reading into too much of that?

 

anyway, I think she would love the idea, but she's been so stutterstepping our relationship its kind of throwing me off. She would act like i'm the best thing that happened to her one day and then a few hours later, would act like i was just some other guy.

 

eh. whatever. I've just about had it with games of "i want you" or "i want to be alone". I'm only doing that whole singing telegram thing to make her happy, but not JUST because of rekindling the relationship. if it doesnt rekindle, not my loss. at least I gave her a good smile and something she'll never forget.

[Scout]

If this is not for rekindling the relationship, then it is a nice way to show that you remember her bday and that you care for her and hope that she has a nice day on her bday.

 

It's not for her birthday. It's for what *would* have been their second year anniversary, if they hadn't broken up.

 

But they did break up. So, it's not their anniversary.

 

I don't recommend this idea at all, bogs. And you know why. See my comments on your previous thread.

[sfindependent]

I did it and she loved it. Ok, so I've been in full contact with the ex... which is baaaad bad bad. I know. its so weird.

 

Ok, so I gave her the thingy right? and while the guy was singing, we were making out and being all sweet to each other. Which was fine. I dont expect us to be back together anymore but a little kiss was great. Anyway, so after that, we sat down and had lunch, which she told me she "didnt need me anymore, don't want me anymore" and that we were never going to be together since she felt unhappy and she felt she wasnt herself when she was with me. She said she really wants to be friends but I said I'd want more than that later on. so we agreed to disagree. So we ended the night, saying that we should really keep a distance for a while. which I agreed to. I tried calling her that night because she said she was having a "nervous breakdown" and I got worried. She didnt pick up and i went about my way. Later on that night around 1230 i was out with a friend and she finally called. She asked who I was with but and then I told her I was with friends and Id call her back. She then said "Don't call me if you can't even say who you're with". This was coming from a woman who says she doesnt need me? So, today, I was minding my own business and not having called her all day when lo and behold, she calls me. I asked her why and she said she only called because she was checking in and that she cared enough to do so. I told her not to call me unless she's made up her mind, since I dont like playing mind games anymore.

 

so i think i'm about to initiate NC now. Ive been hurt and been treated like a doormat and I think its time for me stand up and grab my man brass.

[sfindependent]

thanks mizzcookie! Here's what happened next. So we talked again that night, a few times again. But in the last phone call, she did say the same thing. That she wanted a few days off from talking since we both were beginning to argue again.. I said how many? and she said till thursday.. a couple of days. i'm thinkng of going longer but quite dont know how to approach it. Me and her care a lot about each other and going NC worries both of us (e.g...are you still alive?). but since I don't trust her, I'm beginning to think its just an excuse for her to go out on dates (not that I can't do anything about it, she IS NOT my girlfriend anyway). so i dont know how i would initiate NC without sounding like an a*s but is open to any form of discussion about making something work. She's also mentioned that she's changed quite a bit and wasnt fully her self when we were together for some reason. I want to get to know her better and still do love her a lot. maybe when she becomes more comfortable? I dont know. Can some one help me formulate a good idea of what to say?