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I think I’m ready for NC but I will need every ones help.


kimmie11479
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OK, I think finally I have closer with my ex. We had a long talk tonight and I'm feeling much better. He understands me and I understand him. I think I can finally hang through NC long term b/c now it on my terms. I can do this I feel good about it! It took me almost 2 months for it but I know I can do it I'm just going to need everyones help.

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Call your friends and talk to as many close people that you know you can always "bug" about. Seriously, if you know they know that it will help you and don't mind, talk to them for hours, I was able to do that. Great friends (especially one) and family (sister in this case)

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Call your friends and talk to as many close people that you know you can always "bug" about. Seriously, if you know they know that it will help you and don't mind, talk to them for hours, I was able to do that. Great friends (especially one) and family (sister in this case)

 

i definitely second this. i don't know what i would have done without my friends, my cousin, my mom.

 

one thing i've noticed, though, is that you have to watch for what kind of advice they're giving. i had a lot of friends giving me hope that my ex would come back (turns out they were just as blindsided by the breakup as me!) this is NOT good. it's sweet of them to try to make you feel better, but it keeps you in fantasyland. tell them that you want to talk about it, but that they shouldn't entertain ANY ideas of you getting back with your ex.

 

there are other types of unhelpful advice-giving/support as well. for example, a friend might trash your ex thinking it will make you feel better, while it might actually make you feel like a loser for dating him. politely tell them what works for you and what doesn't.

 

the best thing my friends and family have done for me was to boost my self-esteem and remind me that it's his loss. at the end of the day, that's what really has to stick: that you know you have worth, that you know you are wonderful and beautiful, and that you don't deserve abandonment and will find someone who will never leave you. be shameless about asking for your friends to compliment you and boost you up if it doesn't come easily to them. me, i had a guy friend who never failed to let me know how fantastic he thinks i am, and what he said makes me feel better even on my lowest of low days.

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Don't worry! I'm on day six and he called me tonight. The ball is back in my court and I feel confident that I'm in control. That's really what it's all about -- being in control of your own life and emotions. AND, it's so much easier to do when it's on your terms. Seriously, if you're feeling unsure, totally post on here. There are 654734368743434.4864 people that have your back! You know I do!!

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Day 2 Kimmie! How u holding up? bad night for me last nite, and to boot there was an email waiting for me when I got to work from her. It was only to ask me to send on some theatre tickets we had booked. I had intended to send them on anyway. No emotion, very matter of fact, hurting. at least she said sorry for contacting. Bad thing was I replied and said 'never be sorry for contacting'. How stupid. But y send me the email in the first place so early. it doesnt help my head.

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The question is, even though they start talking to you and even may want you back, do you want them back?

 

I'm making a conscious decision to not take my boyfriend back if he asks on Friday. He can't just do that to me. I have to be stronger than that. I love him, but I love me more.

 

Hang in there Kimmie, you're doing great. Don't worry about calling him. I did it too. Just try and be strong. You'll feel better.

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Same goes here Kimmie.

 

Day 3, feeling worse. Nights are horrible. starting to think too much again. was stupidly hoping that another email would be there when I got to work again. I'm at the stage where I want to know the whole truth about why it happened so quickly, almost overnight. Or maybe I'm being paranoid. Why should I care about that anyway.

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