Help needed :(

[Dr. Chim Richalds]

Ok, so there's this girl I fell for about 5-6 months ago. She lives really close to me and when I got my license I started to drive her and her sister and another friend home from school and stuff... well during that time she really grew on me, she'd flirt and play with me, I'd make her laugh a lot, and we became friends and I really started to like her and stuff. Unfortunately I'm a shy guy, and I could'nt really tell her how I felt, I guess I was afraid of being rejected because I liked her so much, and because we never really had any face to face alone time. Well near the end of the school year I was in a car accident, and the plan I had to ask her to hang out and go places with me in my car over the summer pretty much backfired because my car was toast... but I talked to her and stuff a lot over the summer, and we got a lot closer I guess. And I vowed as soon as I got my car back, I'd ask her to out to go do something and tell her how I felt.

 

Well long story short, she got back together with her ex boyfriend (who is also a close friend of hers) about half way through summer.. which perplexed me, because he had just lied to her about something pretty big just a few days before hand, and I listened to the whole story when she was depressed about it and stuff. But anyway, I was pretty crushed and became distant for about a week after I found out, and whenever we'd talk she'd try to help but I'd just shun it away. But yeah, after that I snapped out of it and just sort of accepted it... and apologised, said I'd tell her all about it someday soon, and tried to act like a normal friend again. Well, not too long after, her boyfriend had lied to her about something again and she was sad... and once again I listened to her problems and helped her through it... and she said what an awesome guy I was for helping her feel better and what not, and I felt we really sort of bonded there.

 

And a few days later, one of my friends had told her that I liked her but couldnt tell her, and so she brought it up in a conversation one day... she didnt accept or reject anything, but merely said things like "Why didnt you tell me earlier?" and "You can talk to me about stuff like that... its ok", etc. (keep in mind, she still has that lying boyfriend who she's crazy about). Well, we just start talking normally again, and I get my car back right as school starts again, so I'm driving her and her sister to and from school now. She still flirts around and plays with me and stuff in the car, and I make her laugh a lot, even when she's sad. Well, just a few days ago, she starts complaining about her boyfriend in the car on the way home (about how he told something that was supposed to be a secret.. or something Anyway, I just tell her to cheer up, and as usual I make her laugh a lot on the way home and cheer her up the best I can. Well, apparently 3 strikes and you're out, because after I got home I messaged her on aim, and out of the nowhere she tells me she broke up with her boyfriend. I'm thinking... "Hmm, why would she bring this up out of the nowhere? Is she interested?"

 

So well, the next day on the ride home, she's in a great mood and is as flirty as ever towards me, and even goes so far as to lay her head on my shoulder for a few seconds... well, I take this as a sign she's interested, and when i get home, I ask her if she wants to do something monday... and she tells me that she's got a busy weekend and she'd let me know monday. Well, today's monday and I talk to her, and she says her mom wont let her go anywhere since she's been gone all weekend... I simply say "Ok, some other time" and she replies with "HELL YES which means she didnt blow me off on purpose or anything like that. Hmm.

 

Haha... so basically, I just want to know, is she interested in me now or what? I know she likes me as a friend, and I know she finds me attractive because she flirts alot and has complemented me on my looks on several occasions... but I dunno, I just need to know if she likes me enough to start a relationship, and I need to know what should I do from here in order to get her.

 

Damn that was long.

 

Thanks to anyone who replies.

[Seko]

Be careful with this one.

Sounds like she might be playing games.

She could be trying to get with you now becuase she wants to show her boyfriend that she can find someone better and quickly move on.

But you know yourself that she is still crazy about this terrible boyfriend she had. What if he comes waltzing back into her life and makes a few promises to her? Knowing her crazy on-and-off emotions with him and her strange ability to forgive him, she seems like the type of girl that might tell you "Sorry, but I still have feelings for him" while either leaving you or explaining why she cheated on you.

 

In conclusion, go with what you feel is right. But I don't get a good feeling from this. I will say she might like you *kind of*, but I just don't get the feeling she is all that crazy about you. If she were, she probably would have at least told you she liked you instead of saying "you could have told me" and leaving it there.

Some girls just like to string guys along "just in case" or for their own sense of self worth.

[Shadow25]

of course she's interested...when she was complaining and was sad about her boyfriend and talked to you about it, did you tell her what you thought of him and the situation, did you suggest splitting up or anything like that?

 

I'd say that she may have just realised what an A-hole he is, and after a while she grew on you, she became attracted, it wasnt a choice, it just happened.

Of course, nobody but her, can tell you if she is attracted to you or not, so asking that question is a little silly, but it's good for reassurance purposes, because I do the same thing

 

I would suggest that you take her to lunch or dinner or something...how old are you? how old is she?

 

Don't ask her to the movies...unless you are going to go and sit down somewhere afterwards and have dinner or lunch or something.

 

She's already said "HELL YES" to going out, so it's pretty clear that she is interested in you, not to mention the PLAYFUL flirting, and especially the resting of her head on your shoulder, rather than resting her head on the window.

Perhaps instead of TELLING HER how you feel, SHOW HER, if you tell her, it doesnt really play with her mind much, she has the answer, BAM just like that...try and make her WANT YOU..I'll give you an example WHY.

 

When you were a baby, or a young kid, and you wanted something really bad from your parents, did you pester them for that thing, whether it was a lolly, or some money to buy lollies or what...

And now that you are thinking back that far...did you ever get mad, or angry, when you didn't get what you wanted? but no matter what, you knew you were going to get what you wanted, and you werent going to give up until you got it?

 

Well, it's a normal thing, especially when it comes to relationships.

 

Why do us men chase women? We WANT them, we can't stop thinking about them, we MISS them whenever we don't see them, true?

 

This works the same way with women.

 

Take a look on these forums at how many women say that they miss a guy when he's away, or they are driven nuts when he is away, or they can't stand being alone.

It's the same reason, those women don't get what they want, i'm not saying they are wanters who will grab anything they can, but if a woman is interested in a guy, and that guy plays it cool, doesnt give her what she wants, and makes her want him, and then makes her want him even more, the next time the woman sees that guy, she will be so damn happy, she'll be flirty (unless shy), and she may act stranger than usual, she will do unexpected things, because she WANTS your attention, she wants you, but you are teasing her, like dangling the carrot infront of the horse, and she just cannot get what she wants....then finally, you'll know when...you can give it to her for all her hard efforts...OR, she'll WANT you so bad that she just can't take it no longer, and she will do something WAY unexpected, something physical to you, making a move on you.

 

It's not just humans either, it's dogs...if you play fetch with a dog, and you throw the ball a few metres, the dog will get it, but if you throw it to the same spot, the dog won't be as excited...so then you can tease and trick the dog, by showing it the ball, pretending to throw the ball, and then throwing it somewhere else...the dog will get excited true?

 

Same with dogs and tug o' war...you NEVER let the dog win...once the dog wins, it feels like it's the bigger better being, and it loses interest...sure it will keep playing, but if you keep letting the dog win, it will get bored, very fast, so you never let the dog win, and it will keep coming back to play some more...

 

I'm not saying women are dogs here either, lol, I'm saying that every being is similar in the way in which when we want something, it creates a challenge for us to get that something, and so then we persue that challenge, until we get what we want.

 

So try and use that with her, make her want you, and most importantly make her MISS you...go away for the weekend or something, or don't see her when you normally see her, tell her that you have to go away for a few days...and..well, go away for a few days...she will miss you, I bet...and when you get back, you're all happy, and she's just as excited as that puppy dog who's chasing the ball being tricked and teased...of course...if you take too long, she will give up...unfortunately, I had to find that out the hard way..so don't leave it too long if you do it!.

 

I bet you, she'll want you 10x more, and probably even come onto you, while you're driving her somewhere....heck, she may come onto you for your date...who knows huh...that makes this situation all the more fun...surprise is always great aswell, so when you think it's time to stop teasing her...do something unexpected for her to go "WOW!" at, something that will just shock her so much that she'll be drooling at your feet begging you to ...do whatever it is she has been trying so hard to get.

 

I hope you read this...your think your post was long...mine is longer

[Dr. Chim Richalds]

Well, I should've noted that her and her ex are still very close friends even after the break up, and they have been for a long time, but SHE broke it off, so its not like he dumped her and she's out looking for "booty" so to speak. I just found it odd that she told me about how and why they broke up about 2 hours after she did it without me even asking.

 

And the reason she didnt outright tell me she liked me back was because well, she probably had no idea I had feelings for her until that day, and was heavily into the boyfriend at the time, so its not like she would just outright tell me that while she was in a relationship.

 

 

 

jesus christ, thanks so much for this post, haha

 

 

 

I honestly just stayed neutral, and said stuff like "guys lie... but we're not all like that" and stuff such as that.