Celibate girlfriend should i stay or go?

[inthecorner]

If you read my first post you will get a bit of background.

 

Anyway i decided to get back together with her. Basically i was neglected for exams. Only contact really being on the telephone. we were together just short of 8 months and only had sex once on valentines day.

 

made the mistake of getting back together just before her holidays. so i had another 3 weeks of not seeing her.

 

Since getting back we have seen each other twice in 3 days. Which is great. Time spent together has been good. Shes mad the effort of being more affectionate which is good. - Before she was very unaffectionate.

 

But i have found when lying on the bed next to her that shes celibate. i asked her what she meant and said that she did not want sex again till after marriage. I don't understand and don't know what to do. Is she testing me teasing me or what. shes said that she does not like or want sex. Though i have not had much sex in my life i can't imagine life without sex. i have a strong suspicion that she will never change. do you think she is just trying to see how commited i am or something. I'm drained confused and hurt right now and just do not have a clue what to do. yesturday she said i could stay round but later made the excuse that i could not stay round because she had left her pyjama bottoms at home. (shes at uni and stays in my city.) she seems to constantly make excuse like this so i cant see her get close to her etc. i express my views and express my thoughts, i dont just sit there and except it. i do challenge her.

 

i'm drained at the moment. i do not feel much of a man. She knows how much i want it so i don't feel very loved. i feel like such a failure even though she assures me its her im still blame myself. i feel like such a puppet.

 

I dont wanna give up n just want a sexual relationship with her. ignore the marriage bit and just consider that another excuse, i doubt it would change after that. she seems to generaly not want to have sex only to concieve. and has said this and not just 2 me.

 

You might think i am mad to stick around and i'm begginning to think that my self. But the realtionship has started to pick up recently. i love being around her and really love her. But just don't know how much more of this i can take.

 

Will she change. i am not gonna stick around if i can not get her 2 change and atleast have sex with me occasionally.

 

Anyone been in this situation. i really am beginning to think i should run for good and never look back. But if shed change i'd stay. Any advice would be greatly appreiated. especially if you've got any suggestions 2 make her want to have sex with me. HELP!!!!!!!

 

Stay or Go (im edging go, but would love it 2 work, since everthi else is prety much perfect) i just cant see why she won't have sex. if she loves me just 2 make me happy.

 

Thanx

[friscodj]

But i have found when lying on the bed next to her that shes celibate. i asked her what she meant and said that she did not want sex again till after marriage. I don't understand and don't know what to do. Is she testing me teasing me or what. shes said that she does not like or want sex. Though i have not had much sex in my life i can't imagine life without sex. i have a strong suspicion that she will never change. do you think she is just trying to see how commited i am or something. I'm drained confused and hurt right now and just do not have a clue what to do.

 

Hey bro,

 

What you wrote above, tells me that you guys just aren't a good fit for each other. She's a good person, you're a good person, but together it just doesn't work, plain and simple.

 

She's confused, you're confused, you feel drained, you guys are constantly being challenged, etc. If this doesn't scream the situation of trying to fit the proverbial round peg into a square hole, I don't know what does...

[Caine]

If she seems to have been making an effort lately, perhaps stick with her for them time being and see how it goes. It does sound like your not a great match and I think she would annoy me too. she's not asking for marriage right now so just take each day as it comes.

[Aschleigh]

If you two are so different in that she associates sex solely with marriage and cocieving and you want a sexual relationship right now, I don't see how a relationship with her would work. Unless you get married right now.

Perhaps you could expand your horizons, meet some other girls, date, see what feels right to you. And then see what her reaction is. Stay in touch but date other people, start a relationship with someone who is on the same page as you sex wise.

[RayKay]

My concern is not so much she wants to wait for marriage, but that she said herself she does not LIKE sex.

 

If she does not LIKE sex, well, I am going to have to tell you that staying with her won't make it suddenly change overnight, and I think the sexual relationship would always be an issue married or not. When someone does not LIKE sex, I can genuinely say it will not exactly be a satisfying sex life when you start feeling she only does it as she feels obligated, or wants to have a baby, not because she genuinley wants to BE there with you.

 

I think simply...you two are just incompatible, and I don't think either of you will be happy in the end. You can find someone whom is your match on all levels - from emotional to physical to intellectual. Why settle for feeling "unloved"?

[dizzy_bruce]

Did anyone else crack up when they read Happytown's reason?

[Carl5000]

probably best you go, obviously one of the main reasons your dating is for the sex. Do, you honestly believe you can go without? Can you see yourself in another 4yrs with this girl, say engaged and still no sex? i doubt it somehow.

 

Its simple do her other qualities overweigh the lack of sex? a relationship without sex is just like a strong friendship, interesting. who knows, perhaps she's just testing you or unconsciously whats you to finish with her. Plenty of things to look into, its best to discuss it with her.

 

Just say sex is a massive part of my life, i dont think i can go without until marriage and see her reaction.

[candy604]

my bf and i don't have sex ( going out for 3 years), b/c of my belief, but he loves me so much he doesn't care even though he wants to ( he's a virgin though too. so I guess it helps).

 

if your with her for sex, let the relationship go unless you love her alot. Sometimes a relationship without sex can be the best relatoinship ever. I've heard from people.

 

maybe the sex once wasn't what she thought it was or maybe she felt dirty? ask her why, was she not satisfied?. Maybe you should ask her those and ask her what she wants. maybe tell her you love her and that sharing these moments with her are special or that you like "making love to her".

 

don't show how much you want it, but i hope she isn't playing a game though . that would be mean. but talk to her about the topic and ask what you can do to satisfy her needs ( instead of yours).Focus on HER.