Once again...i blew it

[capblueberry]

it sometimes seems like my life is just a big long chain is screw up and disappointment

 

well u guys may or may have not read my post about tips on asking a girl...well turns out the girl i was going to ask out that ive known for roughly 9 months likes someone else, and that someone else happens to be a friend of mine that shes known for like a week

 

here wat has led me to this assumption:

1. he's now the highest guy on her top 8 on myspace, i was for about 5 months (may not seem like a big deal but it is to me)

2. she posts the little surveys on myspace with questions asking if she has a crush on ne one, and ever since she meet him she's been answering "maybe"

 

the problem is, is that i dont even think that my friend would respect her for who she is, he doesn't no her like i do

 

i only wish i wasn't so dam shy and my self esteem wasn't insanely low that i could've actually gotten the guts up to ask her out

 

lifes pretty rough on me even though i always do the right thing, i just dont know how to win

 

man i feel so dumb

 

PS: how is it that all the jerks get the good girls?

[Blayzed4Life]

Because they dont care about them. Thats the simple answer, if I were a jerk I could probably hook up with alot of girls because I understand them really well, I'm not the most attractive guy but I have the right attitude. But I am one of those good guys who cant take advantage of a woman without feeling really bad.

[Beec]

OK, instead of lamenting your situation, which you can do if you want, why not try to figure out what works and adapt. It's not too smart to keep failing and failing and then insisting on trying the same thing over and over again.

 

If you waited too long to bust your move, then it was your fault she is not with you. She probably wanted it to happen, but instead of busting the move, you waited. And she lost interest.

 

By jerks, you mean guys who pick up women, get them in some manner, and them dump them and leave them hanging, why not observe and do what they do, then once you have them, keep them? Wouldn't that make sense?

 

If you want to adapt, then work on the skills you need (body language, conversation, etc.) and understand how to use the strategies of a player, then just stick with them when you get them.

[capblueberry]

well its not that i dont know how to talk to women, its that im to dam shy too, trust me if i could just walk up to a girl i liked that tell her that id be alot happier

[Blayzed4Life]

if you never get over your shyness you will miss out on alot of oppertunities.

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

OP, it sounds like the reason you're not with this girl you liked may have more to do with the fact that you never asked her out, than with you being a nicer guy than this other guy.

[Rain__man]

Ok, first off... STOP GOING TO HER MYSPACE! I really had to put the smack down on myself to keep from doing this w/ my ex, but it is no different than following her around, or driving by her house every day like a wacko. It's gonna suck for a long, long time. Get used to it, and work on you, quit worrying about her. Like any breakup, there's tons of stuff you did wrong, and tons of stuff she did wrong that you will use to create who you are going to be, and to figure out what you really want.

 

This is as much for me as for you buddy, but "Quit snivelling and get back to work!"

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

Ok, first off... STOP GOING TO HER MYSPACE! I really had to put the smack down on myself to keep from doing this w/ my ex, but it is no different than following her around, or driving by her house every day like a wacko. It's gonna suck for a long, long time. Get used to it, and work on you, quit worrying about her. Like any breakup, there's tons of stuff you did wrong, and tons of stuff she did wrong that you will use to create who you are going to be, and to figure out what you really want.

 

This is as much for me as for you buddy, but "Quit snivelling and get back to work!"

 

Having read the OP's post, I had been under the impression that his situation involved a girl who was not his girlfriend, but whom he had been platonic friends with for nine months, had liked her, but never got around to asking her out. Now she appears to like someone else.

[annie24]

I agree!!!

 

Furthermore, it may not be to late just to ask her out. after all, she is still single right? i think it's worth a shot.

 

it's not that girls want to date jerks, but like beec said, they just go up and ask us out. So, yeah, work on being less shy.

 

good luck - you can do it!

[Beec]

well its not that i dont know how to talk to women, its that im to dam shy too, trust me if i could just walk up to a girl i liked that tell her that id be alot happier

 

Never tell her you like her, ask her out or bust a move.

 

Your feelings will not change how she feels, thinking so is self-centered. Because I like opera is no reason for you to like it, is it?

[Rain__man]

I'm really sorry man, I didn't mean to skim and post... Talk about reading more carefully before opening my big mouth

 

The same advice still goes about Myspace... It's still kinda like stalking. The shy thing... the right girl won't make you feel shy, as long as you give her enough of an idea you're interested (you are still going to have to ask her out, but you won't have to wonder what the answer is)

[mkmki]

Beec is right, Rain man ware wrong. (allmost late again: ) Now he too is right.

OK, that maybe may mean these things:

-She is tired of waiting

-She wants to give it a shot with your buddy and if it fails its your turn

 

Now this may seem stupid but ask her out, if she rejects (even maybe is rejection) forget her and try to find other girl.

 

If she values more person she met one week ago then someone she knows for nine months... She is definetly not for you, you need someone better.

[capblueberry]

If she values more person she met one week ago then someone she knows for nine months... She is definetly not for you, you need someone better.

 

 

thats a very good point mkmki, thanks

[annie24]

If she values more person she met one week ago then someone she knows for nine months... She is definetly not for you, you need someone better.

 

I disagree with this. it's not that she values him more or less, it's just that if a guy hasn't asked us out after knowing us for 9 months, we figure he is not interested, and we move on. We figure that if he liked us in a romantic way, he would have asked us out by now, before some other guy grabbed us away from him. We figure if a guy's been hanging out with us for 9 months and hasn't asked us out, he likes us like a sister or a friend, but not a girlfriend.

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

I disagree with this. it's not that she values him more or less, it's just that if a guy hasn't asked us out after knowing us for 9 months, we figure he is not interested, and we move on. We figure that if he liked us in a romantic way, he would have asked us out by now, before some other guy grabbed us away from him. We figure if a guy's been hanging out with us for 9 months and hasn't asked us out, he likes us like a sister or a friend, but not a girlfriend.

 

Yes, I concur. He did not ask or make his wishes clear, so he has no claim.

 

Also, she does not need to value someone a lot simply because she's known him longer. Heck I can think of a few real JERKS that I've unfortunately known for decades. Still I will value a true friend that I've recently met much more than the Jerk I've known for decades, of course.