is he gay?

[Salty]

My boyfriend and I have our issues but a friend of our has bigger ones my friend and her boyfriend have been exploring new things sexually and have made the discovery that her boyfriend enjoys anal stimulation ( her fingering him) and He wants her to Wear a strap on...Is he gay? He claims he isnt and that he only wants to do this with her but other times when I speak to him alone about it he told me about his fantasy about having a threesome with my friend and another guy. He is obsessed with her being in control and like becoming the so having her and another guy control him is a major turn on for him....Whats up with that! I tell him he must be gay but he gets mad my girlfriend is in denial ( i havent told her about the fantasies) is this guy straight? what do i tell her? should i mind my own biz?

[jsx730]

Hard to say really. Neither of those symptoms are sure-fire homosexual indicators, but combined it could be a possibility. I wouldn't worry about it too much though. What people say when they are horny and what they are really comfortable with are often quite different.

[FoxLocke]

Some straight guys like it when their girlfriends stimulate them anally...

 

However, my gaydar goes off with this guy. He has one foot out of the closet door.

 

I think he might be bisexual at the least...

 

Individually, these kinds of things are just indicative of a sexual fetish...But it seems like he is slowly coming out of the closet.

[flower99]

Some straight guys like it when their girlfriends stimulate them anally...

 

However, my gaydar goes off with this guy. He has one foot out of the closet door.

 

I think he might be bisexual at the least...

 

Individually, these kinds of things are just indicative of a sexual fetish...But it seems like he is slowly coming out of the closet.

 

I'm agreeing with this.

have you asked him?

[Salty]

Yes i ask him all the time but he always says no i would only do these things with his girlfriend she makes him want explore these things.

[RayKay]

Many men enjoy anal stimulation as it stimulates the prostate which is packed with nerves that cause pleasurable feelings.

 

And that is not limited to gay men!

 

However, this does not mean he isn't, or isn't bisexual. He may not know himself where his sexual preferences lay at this point either, and really be interested in the fantasy (maybe not the reality or the actual having a relationship with another man). I think there are a lot of people whom may be curious whom would not consider themselves gay, though there are greater chances their sexual preference may be more fluid.

[flower99]

Yes i ask him all the time but he always says no i would only do these things with his girlfriend she makes him want explore these things.

 

Yeah that's a tough call.

I'm thinking the same as you. He must be gay or bi - But maybe I just think that because none of the men I've been with were into that.

But everyone is different

[Honey Pumpkin]

Hi there,

 

I'm not quite sure why you're involved, to be honest, unless it's just curiosity? As you're not his girlfriend, I don't really think it's any of your business, unless someone has asked you get involved and give your advice? (That wasn't meant to be harsh, btw, just not quite getting your involvement here).

 

I agree with above posters, human sexuality is a range - and what goes on between a couple sexually is essentially their business, so long as they are both happy with it, and doesn't *need* to be labelled. Read Nancy Friday or the Kinsey Report - human sexuality and human fantasy is unbelievably varied and complex! So long as no one frightens the horses! ;-)

[Salty]

Hi there,

 

I'm not quite sure why you're involved, to be honest, unless it's just curiosity? As you're not his girlfriend, I don't really think it's any of your business, unless someone has asked you get involved and give your advice? (That wasn't meant to be harsh, btw, just not quite getting your involvement here).

 

I agree with above posters, human sexuality is a range - and what goes on between a couple sexually is essentially their business, so long as they are both happy with it, and doesn't *need* to be labelled. Read Nancy Friday or the Kinsey Report - human sexuality and human fantasy is unbelievably varied and complex! So long as no one frightens the horses! ;-)

 

He is coming to me telling me his fantasies and i don't know what to tell my girlfriend like i would want to know if my man was gay... but i just dont know if he is

[Honey Pumpkin]

He is coming to me telling me his fantasies and i don't know what to tell my girlfriend like i would want to know if my man was gay... but i just dont know if he is

 

Okay, well in that case the key point for me is not is he gay, but WHY is he going to you to tell you his fantasies? Unless it's a big drunken group thing, sort of truth or dare, that to me is just...odd. Is he getting off on it? Is he trying to ask you if he's gay? Have you asked him why he's telling you all this? I would be very surprised if a friend's partner told me their fantasies, apropos of nothing. Wouldn't matter what the fantasy was, it's very intimate.

[flower99]

yeah good question: why is he telling you his fantasies? shouldn't that be shared with his girlfriend & not her friends? humm....weird

[Salty]

he was high when he told me...My question is is the guy gay or not????

[flower99]

he was high when he told me...My question is is the guy gay or not????

 

oh he was high..he he he..that explains it

Personally i'd say yes, but that might be because i've never met another guy who was into that. so to me, I'd think at least bi-curious

But it sounds like this is a question he doesn't even know the answer too.

[valiantv]

I wouldn't say so... Unless there are other factors too like listening to Abba or watching Big Brother Seriously though, as RayKay was saying, the prostate is up there, and that's one of the major male erogenous zones, I know of one or two straight men who like that from their lade. Don't think I'd like that myself though

 

Also I wouldn't bring it up if he told you while high... Let his gf and himself sort that one out, anything else could cause unnecessary embarrassment.

[Eto]

If the guy's having sex with your friend that would generally point towards hetero or bi. I doubt he's gay as all of my gay friends find the female genitalia scary.

 

 

Oh, and I had to comment on this,

 

So long as no one frightens the horses! ;-)

 

What if the horse likes it?