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HE LIED...I find out he has had 3 previous sex partners..


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I'm 17, my boyfriend is 16, we've been in a relationship for 8 months. At this point, of course sex has been brought up, but both of us wanted to wait until we KNEW we were truly ready.

 

He has PLENTY experience with girls.. compared to me having not so much with guys...I've only had 1 boyfriend before him and he's been with 7 or 8...I never had oral sex until I was with him and he's had plenty of it...basically, he was a hookup kind of guy before we started going out. It's kind of been an issue for me throughout this relationship because sometimes I feel like I'm just a hookup, or he's hooking up with other girls. He says he's completely committed to me though.

 

I asked him a long time ago if he's ever had sex, and he said no. We've been talking about sex for about 3 months now, and everytime we're aroused and in the moment we're always saying stuff like...I want to give my virginity to you...I can't imagine giving it to anyone else...

 

Everything was perfect...I thought I had met a guy who really wanted to wait for sex, but I find out yesterday that he's had sex with 3 girls before me. I've accepted all the other things he's done with girls like the oral sex, but to have sex with THREE other girls and lie about it....I'm upset...I'm disgusted...

 

Part of me wants to break up with him...What do I do?

 

EDIT: his best friend told me...they've been friends since they were 4 and he's a good guy

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Wow, at 16 he is soo "experienced". I think you should not waste your time on some one who has been lying to you for so long. Besides, he could have STDs and you could get them from him too...

 

Try focusing your time on other things, and you will meet someone who is worth it...

 

Maasikus

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Who told you he had sex with other people? Have you spoken with him about this?

 

You need to talk to him, I know at your age, gossip about sex is the hottest thing and its usually a lot of bunk.

 

If it is true...

Something as significant as that is a big lie. He could have STIs or still be messing around, who knows, if he is willing to lie about something that important I would say there is a lot to be questioned.

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I agree with the above - have a frank talk to him about it. I think that it might be a lot of rumours and whispers going on, and only he can let you know the truth. Try not to be too accusatory when you talk though - he might just lie to say what you want to hear. Be open and upfront.

 

I'm a lot older than you, and to be honest when you said he was a guy into casual hook-ups, I was a bit surprised that he was a virgin. I don't see that much difference between having one-night stands with just oral sex or full sex, to be honest, and I wouldn't romanticise that he had not had full sex. But like I said, I think that's an age thing, and I understand where you are coming from.

 

Finally - regardless of his past, how has he treated you these last few months? Has he been the faithful, decent and attentive type???

 

Good luck.

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I like the advice from people above. Just want to add he might have been lying to you because he is embarrassed. Maybe you did him realise he doesn't want to be that guy anymore. Maybe he changed for the better. Maybe he wishes to be a virgin again because the previous 'hook-ups' were not anywhere as good as you.

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I would leave him because thats basing the relationship on a lie....

If he is ahsmaed of things he did okay but honesty is so important... I mean I bet you felt betrayed when your bestfriend told you....

he is part of you and you of him tehre should be no secrets...

God knows what else he has not said... sit him down and have him open up if he decides to lie or not say anything or deny.... leave him

walk away,,,,

Honesty if the key to a long lasting relationship

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Did you confront him with this issue, and actually get the real story for the "horse's mouth"? Are you sure his best friend wasn't just feeding you a line? Maybe he had alterior motives. Why would he say something like this to his best friends girlfriend if he's a "good guy". I would suggest confronting your boyfriend before making any judgements. I question the "good guy" comment about the best friend too. People's friends are usually somewhat of a reflection of themselves.

 

Best of luck!

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