I don't know why i just want to die

[Bboy4eva]

hi

 

I have a pho of sleeping , yesterday i couldn't stop crying and culdn't breath

 

here is the full story ....

 

when i was 10 i had sleeping problems where my mind would make my belly hurt if anyone went to sleep before me .... it took 3 years to get over it .. i am now 13 and have felt ll one day and now cant stop .... i have a new pho of everything from night to dark to sleep and i always feel sick and cry. my mum thinks its just a little virus but im scared and just think about killing myself just so the pain goes away

[airforceace07]

I would have to say to hit the doctors office, maybe its a condition that they would know about...hard to say but its worth a shot...plus killing urself is gonna hurt a lot too...dontcha think?

[Bboy4eva]

i guess but i just don't want this illness forever

[blender]

something is not right, you must decide if it's physical? Do you have actual physical pain, or it is emotional fear, or both? I'm so sorry you are having these feelings, but you will grow past them, this is only a "moment' in the big picture that is your life, you will look back on this someday, and perhaps even be able to help someone else who might go through the same thing.

 

Fears are just that "FEARS" they are something that we can let get too big, but it does not mean the fear will manifest into anything that is REAL... so know that you are "feeling" these things, but they are not "facts'.

 

The night will not hurt you, the dark will not hurt you, sleep will not hurt you, you will be okay, The night, the dark, the sleep has been around for a long time, and you are not the first person to be so afraid of them and you will heal and move beyond this, you will.

 

but you may need to get some help to deal with these very real fears, even if they will not manifest into anything "real", the feelings are very real... so you just might need help putting your "fears" into perspective.

 

What is your biggest "fear" of the night, follow the fear all the way through in your mind, past the fear to what you actually think could happen? You will go to sleep and it will be night and dark, and you will wake up in the morning, right?

[airforceace07]

im kinda paranoid sometimes actually, maybe if u slept with weapons around ur bed ud feel better I got a sword at the head of my bed and knives hung near it...kinda comforts me a little u kno? my house creeks a lot so... sometimes i think theres an intruder but there never is... so its all good

[blender]

airforce, you are suggesting that someone who is feeling suicidal to have weapons near thier bed?????? god NO. Bboy4eva, hear me loud and clear, you are going to get past all this, you need some professional help, if you're mom thinks you have a virus than go to the doctor and tell him all you are feeling, is there anyone else whom you can talk to, someone at church, school, a teacher, a friend, a cousin, a sibling, anyone whom you trust?

[Bboy4eva]

because of me being young im powerless i feel sick all the time i no thats it my mind doing it but it won't stop and i have attacks and cant breath i dont want to tell anyone because it sound really sad

[nottoogreen]

Hi Bboy4eva,

 

Welcome to eNotAlone!

 

I do not understand the origins of your pain and phobia. Have you ever been in accidents or experienced abuse, violence or seen abuse or great violence?

 

Also, could you learn this please, it will keep you safe and protect you.

• You are precious, your life is precious and you deserve to be happy!
  
• Look after your body and love yourself!
  
• When someone hurt or abused you it was not your fault!
  
• You have a future, you always will as long as you do not give up!
  
• You deserve to be understood, but to expect understanding is very foolish.
  
• Regrets are the most difficult feelings to deal with.
  
• Life often is like three steps forward and one step back. Expect setbacks and do not let setbacks bother you. Just move along your chosen path.
  
• All you can be is a loving healthy being to another loving healthy being. Being can be combinations of Parent/Child, Partner, Friend, Lover and Master/dog.
  
• Realistic expectations. Carefully consider your expectations as unrealistic expectations breed resentment and set you up for failure.
  
• Be realistic about your ability and carefully consider your ability as your failure to meet your expectations hurts you and may hurt others.
  
• Patience and persistence. Changing any situation or yourself takes time and effort. Changing your feelings takes time and is often painful. It does make sense to endure reasonable pain for a better happier future.
  
• Adaptability of your mind. Your biggest strength is that your mind adapts to what you do often and the more so, the more motivated you are. As you move up, your mental ability increases. This strength is also your biggest weakness as your mental ability decreases when you are frustrated or unmotivated. Your mind also adapts to negative thinking. Thus it is important to think positive!
  
• Break circles of thought. If you realize that you think or fear the same again and again, break out of it by telling yourself: STOP, NO WORRIES. Divert your thoughts away from a circle of thought. The Mental survival activities or Exercise activities below may be of help to distract you.
  
• Mental survival activities. Develop one or more mental activities which can occupy your mind and give you a sense of calmness and accomplishment. One activity should be as simple as possible in order to be performable at any time. Exercise these activities regularly. Examples are: writing poems, writing down feelings, drawing, a journal and reading. Use the Exercise activities below as alternative and for backup. Be prepared and never run out of supplies to perform these activities. These activities train you on focusing your mind and give you a sense of accomplishment.
  
• Exercise activities. Develop an interest in one or more physical activities and perform these regularly. Examples are push-ups, sit-ups, running, swimming and biking. At least have one activity you can perform in your room and one out-door activity. Exercise is healthy and gives you a sense of accomplishment.
  
• Be sure you have enough sleep. Sleep deprivation makes manic and leads to countless secondary problems from anxiety, over-acting, over-excitement, over-thinking to under-performing. If you can't sleep, perform Mental survival activities and/or Exercise activities until you relax enough to fall asleep. Given training and experience, you will relax and fall asleep! No pills needed!
  
• KISS - Keep It Simple Stupid. Do not over-act, over-excite or over-think.
  
• Help - If you have questions or need help, please post or seek professional help!
  

[Tigris]

Go and talk to a doctor and get it sorted out. If he/she can't help you then you'll be referred to someone who can.

 

Good luck and take care.

[Considerate Empath]

I actually disagree with the posters above saying you need a doctor or some kind of proffesional help.

 

You may be scared of sleeping, afraid of nightmares, afraid of what might happened to you when you're not at your guard, afraid of ghosts or the uknown in the dark. But in any case, fear is nothing. Face your fears and it'll go away. Open the closet and the monster will disappear.

 

Remember, the brave may not live forever, but the cautious do not live at all.

 

 

Hope everything works out!

 

//C.E.

[airforceace07]

airforce, you are suggesting that someone who is feeling suicidal to have weapons near thier bed?????? god NO. Bboy4eva, hear me loud and clear, you are going to get past all this, you need some professional help, if you're mom thinks you have a virus than go to the doctor and tell him all you are feeling, is there anyone else whom you can talk to, someone at church, school, a teacher, a friend, a cousin, a sibling, anyone whom you trust?

 

 

Yes, I am...I just got over a feeling of suicide today...ive had weapons by my bed the whole time...like I said...makes me feel better, isnt that wat its all about, feeling comfortable at all times?