In love with best girl mate thread

[imsoinlovewithher]

Hey, I've noticed there are a lot of threads on girls who have fallen for their female friends. I am one of these girls, I'm head over heels in love with another girl who I've known for nearly a year (although, only had feelings for her since January). Anyway, I thought we could have our own thread, kinda support eachother through everything? Could be a stupid idea, but just let me know.

[rose2summer]

I am not in love with my best friend, so I am not of much help here.

 

However, I commend you on following through with your emotions, and maybe approaching this friend.

 

Good luck!

Rose

[Mjb]

hello,

 

im in the excat same position as u known her for nearly a year too! sucks cant do anything bout it!! here to talk or if u want n e advice even thou im in the same boat as u! x xx

[julie_an]

I totally agree with you, after all we're sharing the same distress...

care to share?

[Cadence308]

I think you should find out if your friend is gay friendly first before approaching her with your feelings. Does she date guys or appear to be interested in men? Find these things out first. Then tell her how you feel about her. Even if she doesn't feel the same way that you do, a good friend will be flattered by your attraction.

[imsoinlovewithher]

Well here's my story...

 

I'm a 17 year old girl. I met emma (the girl I love) when I started at college in september. We started becoming friends outside college about January. I was really happy to have her as a friend cos I've been through a lot of * * * * with other friends. She made me realise what a true friend is really like. I didn't realise I was falling for her until about May/June. I can't remember exactly when it was that I realised but one day I remember just standing and thinking, what if I like her as more than a friend? Everything started making more sense when I realised my feelings for her, like why I think about her a lot, why I always feel down when we say bye to eachother, why I was jealous of her best friend, why I always got butterflies when I was going to see her.

 

Anyway, now we are pretty close friends. I love her to pieces and would do anything for her. She is most definitely straight (I know this 100%) and whilst her friendship makes me happier than I've ever been, I can get really down cos I know she'll never feel the same way about me as I do about her.

 

Sometimes I get worried that she'll not want to be my friend anymore. I get these stupid, irrational fears that I have no reason to have. Like I went through a phase where I thought one of my friends was going to steal her away from me. It's really stupid! Does anyone else get stupid irrational fears like that? I think it's just insecurity.

 

I've decided not to tell her, cos the pain of having her reject me or her not wanting to be my friend anymore would be a million times worse than the pain I'm going through right now. I don't think I could cope without her.

 

What about you guys? What are your stories?

[loveualot]

hey!!!!!!!!i think we should start a thread.i am also in the same position..loving her 2 bits... and in my case the confusion is if she too likes me coz i get theses so many hints...see dear first of all analyze her behaviour... when u touch her... or look at her... or maybe come up with a topic on bisexuality( to be on the safer side even if u are a les.)then if the talk is smooth i suggest if she is trustworhty u can have a talk...u can send your questions to all of us... even a friend MJB would help u along with myself.. i feel we sail in the same boat....dont worry... love is the greatest feeling coz we are human beings...

[imsoinlovewithher]

i think those of you who think there might be a chance that she likes you back are soo lucky!! And I wish you all the best of luck with it! totally. I agree with you loveualot about love being the greatest feeling, I've never felt anything like it and it's amazing!! i can only imagine how great it would be if my love was reciprocated!!

 

One of my main problems is jealousy, I get jealous of her best friend. I really don't want to be, but I can't seem to help it! Can anyone help me with this?

 

I am thinking about coming out to her as bisexual, cos I hate the feeling I get that I'm lying to her. Cos we often talk about another one of her friends who fancies her (also a girl) and I have to pretend to not understand how she can like her and give my friend advice on how to deal with her! It's a crazy situation!

[drop_dead]

Hi everybody.. i'm 22 years old... been in love with my best friend.. she's 24.my life revolved around her... gave everything she wanted.. i didn't tell about my feelings for her.. because it would be a big big mistake... so i just kept it. yeah it was pretty hard to get rid of this feeling. but yeah i did it. She's straight and i'm bi... and she just got married with her boyfriend.. no communication with her for months was a big help. she's living in another state now. I know it was hard for us since we're best friend but i'm happy now. I just keep myself busy ...

[jklmn20]

I know exactly how you feel. I went away to school about six months ago and became really good friends with my roommate. About two months after we met she came out and told me that she was lesbian. At that point I thought that I was straight but then I started having feelings for her and I think she had feelings for me. At one point we almost kissed. But we still haven't had a serious discussion about it. I really don't know what to do either. I don't know if I'm bi or straight and from reading the above comments I understand that I shouldn't assume I'm bi or lesbian just bc of this one instance. I FEEL YOUR PAIN. And if anyone wishes to give me some advice... go right ahead.

[jklmn20]

oh.. and one more thing. When we almost kissed, she said that it was just a joke and she wouldn't have actually kissed me (we were interrupted by another friend that walked into our room).

[Tigris]

She probably said that because the other friend walked into the room. By any chance is that friend her other half? Why don't you talk to her and ask her how she knew discovered her sexuality and that you're not sure about yours and that you like her. I think she'd be pleased that you confided in her.

[Tigris]

Imsoinlovewither if this girl is your best friend she could be upset if you don't confide in her?

 

Someone told me they loved me a couple of months ago. I told her that I was flattered, but I am happily engaged to my fiancee.

[imsoinlovewithher]

Tigris, thanks for your reply.

 

But I'm thinking that if she doesn't know then she can't be upset that i haven't confided in her? If I fancied anyone else she would be the first person to know. It's just cos it's her. I simply cannot lose her friendship, no way, it means too much to me.

[abby12]

i am glad there is a place to share about this kind of stuff!

 

i feel for all those girls out there in this position. i am in that situation right now aswell!

 

so basically i have kept me being bisexual a secret until recently, and i have had this best friend, i have known her for a couple years, she is one of hte greatest people i know. we do everything together, tied at the hip, together all the time. and deep down i have always had feelings for her, and even more so recently, i feel like we were supposed to meet each other. i have kept this a total secret. and i have been trying to make myself ignore those feelings because i thought it would never ever happen. but its so hard to not like her cause i am around her a lot, she is really popular and outgoing, and i get easily jealous. and she flirst with guys alot but she never goes out with any of them, she has never kissed one either!

and a while ago i came up with enough courage to tell her i am bi, i was so afraid of how she would react.

She was accepting and open about it. and then she started kinda of saying that she thinks she might be bi too, but we didnt get to talk about it much, and i am wondering!

it was the biggest shock ever cause i thought she was totally straight. now i have no idea what to do about this, its driving me crazy, her mentioning that gives me hope. i am so reserved though i don't know if she really is or not or if she would have feelings for me even if she was. but theres little things she would do like, totally lay on me, put her legs up on me, couple of times hold my hand, and it drove me crazy, and i never did any of that sort of thing back, cause i was so hush hush about it all and didnt want to risk messing things up, cause i was so unsure.

i am worried now because i think she is all embarrassed and feels awkward, and we haven't been around each other as much.

i don't know if i should just come right out and tell her, or if i should even bring any of it up at all!

[imsoinlovewithher]

hey abby12

 

If you just told her, you need to think about whats the worst that could happen? You sound like really good friends so if, and I say if, she doesn't like you that way then would she be ok with it, accept it and you could just move on?

 

What is she embarrassed about? Cos she's held your hand and stuff? Maybe you should do it back and see how she reacts.

 

It sounds me to me like she might be interested in you, like when she lays on you and holds your hand and stuff. At least you know there is the possibility of her liking you, since she has told you she is bi. Has she told anyone else that? Or just you?

 

I wish I could be more helpful but I'm in a similar situation to you and I don't know what to do either!!

 

I just keep telling myself that at least im lucky enough to have such a great friend, it would be worse if I didn't know her at all. If you did tell her, it's not like she could be really freaked out by it cos she has already told you she is bi.

 

If I were you, I would give her little hints that you might like her, not being dead obvious, just subtle and just see how she reacts.

 

Or just ask her why things have been a bit awkward between you two lately, you never know, she might tell you something.

 

But whatever you decide to do, we are all here to listen and good luck!!

[Tigris]

imsoinlovewithher

 

You are assuming your bestfriend will have nothing to do with you if you tell her your sexuality. She's been your friend for a long time and has probably worked it out for herself and is waiting for you to tell her. Just bring up the subject of sexuality and see where it goes. Find out her views.

 

If she's got a sister or brother say, 'If ....... came to you and said they were gay or bi how would you feel about it?' That way you'll get an idea of how she'll react when you tell her.

 

 

jklmn20

 

It's about time you had a talk with your room mate. There's definitely some sort of chemistry between you two. Good luck and let us know how you get on.

 

 

abby 12

 

Talk to your friend and find out if she wants to take your relationship further or not. You've got nothing to lose and everything to gain. If she says 'No' then you know where you stand from now on. Good luck. Let us know how you get on.

[abby12]

thanks so much!!! i appreciate it!!

 

but theres more to it, the only reason why i incredibly doubt her having feelings or is she does doing anything about it, is because of the fact she comes from a strict family, she says shes so close with her family, but they don't really support gays ....at all. her brother is gay and he was terrified that they would disown him, he suffered for years and it really messed him up, he moved out and finally came out to them.

my sister is lesbian and went with him to tell them. she told me the parents didn't say anything in support at all, they really didnt say anything. thats sad. but hes a lot happier now.

i think my friend is just really torn about it, and i am 100% positive she has told no one but me about her., i don't think she would have if i hadnt said anything first. so i don't know.

so i think thats why shes feels weird about, she has so much pressure to be a certain way. its so sad to me.

 

thanks iamsoinlovewithher, i think thats a good way to approach it, just asking her whats been up between us. thanks for suggesting that.

 

but anyway, i'll let ya know what happens.

[imsoinlovewithher]

Abby12

 

That really is sad about her parents. It's awful that her brother had to go through all that. It sounds like she's torn between what she wants and what is expected of her. I think you just need to give her time, she must be going through something mentally of what her parents would think. I hope it all works out ok for her, please keep us updated. Personally, i think it sounds like she does like you. So just be there for her when and if she decides to say anything to her parents. good luck with talking to her!

 

Tigris

 

She hasn't been my friend for THAT long really and I still feel like we have more to find out about eachother and we could get closer than we are now. I really don't think she has worked it out. We've only been as close as we are now for about 2 months, maybe less. I know her views are that she has no problems whatsoever with gays or lesbians. But she knows another one of her friends fancies her and she is really freaked out about it. Their friendship has gone down the pan since she realised this girl fancied her and i don't want the same to happen to our friendship. Although, this other girl does touch her a lot and generally does things to make my friend feel uncomfortable. I don't do anything like that.

 

I'm really insecure about our friendship anyway cos I went through a lot of * * * * with friends at my old school. She's the first close friend I've had in years so she is sooo important to me. I really need to get over my insecurity issues.

[abby12]

thanks for the support. i think thats what it might be. we hung out today, and it was really weird. our friend ship is drifting apart. i mention it to her in an email today. i'll let you know what she says.

 

i hope everything works out for everyone else

[loveualot]

sounds to me like she is interseted but scared.... try to make some moves dear....coz one of u has to open up... n relieve the tension....i konw its tough... even my best friend n love.....she too used to lay on me sumtimes...adn hold my hand or put her head on myshoulder...n when we wake up she has to do sumthin or the other like tickle or playfully hold my arms...(she was my roomate)...so dont worry... see how things go... ask her y its odd

[imsoinlovewithher]

yea, i agree it does sound like she's interested. Just go with the flow, hint onto her and see what happens. Sounds like there were a few hints on the trip you've just been on, so feel good about that and take that as permission for you to try making a couple of moves.

 

Good luck and keep us updated!

[Tigris]

I think it's a good idea for the two of you to spend more time together, so she gets to know you better.

 

I hope your relationship develops into something more soon.

 

Good luck.

[abby12]

i told my 2 of my close friends that i really trust about me liking her. they both told me its a possibility she could too. i dunno.

she keeps changing the day we are supposed to hang out. , she has done it 2 times in the last 2 weeks, both with these other people.i told her before she doesnt have to lie to me, and she has been cause doesnt tell me she had hung out with them. i figured out she went off with other people and it obvious and she doesnt admit it. she explained her reason for being for being so weird was that she realized me and one my other goodfriends were really close, and she said its stupid how shes being. she said she hasnt been meaning to drift cause our friendship is a structure in her life.

she explained she has been all weird like she hasnt been funny anymore (cause shes like so hilarious, she cant go 2 seconds without making some funny comment). before she said about not being funny she said its like when she talks to me its like i dont care what shes saying and whatever she says is stupid and its like i always deep in thought. so i had to explain that i dont think what she says is stupid, and i am listening and thinking about what shes saying, and i have always been a listener more than a talker, and it takes me longer to say something, its really bad but i do it with everyone.

after i explained that she wrote "yeah I understand what you're saying. It wasn't a big deal either really, I think I've just been weird these last 2 weeks and not only that I don't feel funny, just don't feel like myself...I think I'm just really anxious about not being ready for school and having to get a job too.. hmm."

and before she said "i dunno. plus i've felt all weird, like i haven't been funny in like 2 weeks. i don't know why. ponder.."

 

we are going to the same college and are in one of hte same classes. She registered after i said i did, which surprised me. then later when i wrote about going to school in my blog, and she repsponded something like, she was really excited when she found out i was going and it made her want to go to because she said it was stupid but i make her get her head together.this was before all of this driftng stuff happened.

 

i dunnoooo!

[nanobaby]

I posted awhile back, see if you can find my post.

Basically, all the signs were there...and she started it. lol I was completely 100% straight before, then I notice this girl is acting like she has a crush on me. Yet shes completely straight, and only talks about guys. Things went on, and we became best friends. The flirting got really intense, laying on me, touching me, sleeping really close together...like on top of eachother lol, and talking dirty. And then I finally told her I liked her..i couldn't deal with it anymore. And to my surpise (i wasn't going insane!!!) she told me she like me back. A week went by, and she started saying things like "I don't like you like that.." etc. So now its like does she like me or does she not? So i asked her about it, and she said "it feels wrong. its not right. your a girl, and i'm a girl. i can't.... lets just not...say no okay?"

after that i got really upset, and started telling her to forget everything I said because I dind't mean i was just confused (which might be the case..) but i only said it to make her feel better, and make myself feel like i wasn't rejected..i guess. and now things are tottally weird between us., And i miss the flirting and how close we could be. It was special. Even if we both didn't have feelings for eachother, its nice to have someone to cuddle with, you know? and yeah. so things are * * * * atm. its only been 3 months or so. I really miss what we used to have.