Yet another opinion question!

[savannahohsavannah]

I am having some problems deciding how much I should tell a guy up front. I've had boyfriends who won't tell much, and I've decided that I've been much too open. No, I don't have six legs or anything, but I think it's a good idea not to spout off some things, even though they are things you would reveal to someone with whom you were thinking marriage. What kinds of things would you tell, and when? What do you see that you owe to a bf, SO, or hookup?

[dude69]

Depending on what those secrets are, I wouldnt tell him/her all of it until i knew i trusted them. To this day there are still some secrets that i havent told anyone ever in my life, why ? because they would bring more harm then good and it did not affect my life in anyway. Somethings are better left unsaid. Anyway, if its anything like how many people youve slept with or how many of them you slept with at the same time or anything extreme like that, well depending on the person it can scare them away. If someone thinks your to "crazy" for him and he thinks he cant keep up he might just walk away. This can work both ways though.

 

If it was someone i trusted and was about to marry, i wouldve already told them by now. Things like how many sex partners, life experiences, my beliefs, my way of thinking. basically everything they would want to know i would not think twice before telling them.

[rose2summer]

Don't be too open at the onset as dude brought up.

 

Let the trust build and then open up.

 

A man may judge you early on and you want them to get to know you personality-wise first, then open up when you feel comfortable.

 

You have no obligations to them until you enter a serious relationship.

 

Just have fun.

 

My 2 cents.

 

Rose

[annie24]

I agree with the previous posters. As for the "marriage" conversation, I would say if you are over 25, 6 months - 2 years is an appropriate time, depending on the closeness of your relationship. After 2 years, it is more than appropriate to ask "where is this relationship going?"

 

just my 2 cents

[SarahRose]

Don't be an open book right away. Most people are overwhelmed by too much at once. I think keeping a bit of mystery about you is sexy.

 

There are some things you never need to disclose as more often than not it will damage your relationship beyond repair. Even if it is in the past, the partner will tend to get fixated on it and then the relationship is all downhill from there.

 

Examples are details about sex with previous partners.

 

Say in your teens you were very promiscuous and slept with 50 guys but that was 20 years ago and you have been with 2 in the past 10 years. No reason to disclose the 50 guys unless you have some untreatable STD.