Girlfriends annoying voice...help please...

[justaguy12]

I've been dating this woman for 3 years. We broke up twice within the first 6 months, not for arguing or anything (we've never had an argument the whole time), but mainly because she was head over heels in love and I wasn't feeling it, so I felt guilty. She's 38 and I'm 47. She is beautiful too, and gets mistaken for someone in her mid 20's. So time went on, we got engaged, she moved in, lost her job, and it all went to hell in 6 months (I work from home, so we were basically together 24 hours a day, 7 days a week). The woman is wonderful in every way, except for her voice, and the fact that she talks too much...she sounds like she talks through her nose instead of her mouth all the time (if anyone knows how to improve that, PLEASE let me know.)

We weren't happy...so we decided to break the engagement, then she moved into an apartment ( I helped all along, and we're still friends). I think I want to get back with her, but I'm unsure. She has a job now, we're just taking time apart to sort things out. I could never tell her about her voice, I really don't think it would be the right thing to do. But I miss her like crazy, and I don't want her to move on with someone else, or really start dating again. The voice is a big thing...and it is annoying to most people I know that have heard her, considering she could talk the ears off a brass monkey.... I would marry this woman in a minute if I could bring myself to like her voice...hypnosis maybe for me? What would you do in this situation? Tell her about the voice? Move on?

[Lady Bugg]

OH lord......this is a doozy. LOL

So does she sound like the "Nanny"? If so I would find that annoying too!!

That aside...she can't really help the way she sounds. It's kinda like being born with a big nose...though there IS RhinoPlasty... I don't know ...

You could wear earplugs and feign deafness......

 

Seriously...if she is wonderful n EVERY other way....is her voice REALLY a dealbreaker?

[justaguy12]

The Nanny meets Janice from Friends (Chandlers girlfriend)

It really could be a dealbreaker for me, I couldn't wait for her to move out of the house, mainly because she wasn't working, sleeping late & watching TV on the couch while I was working from home.

[Dako]

You have my sympathy.

That's one of my big hang-ups too, and a nasal voice like that drives me nuts. I don't understand it myself, since I'm not fussy about other things.

Asking her to change is problematic. I know we don't entirely choose our voice, so it's unfair to make an issue of it.

Hypnosis may be worth considering before puncturing those eardrums.

[Lady Bugg]

I hear ya....I know I love a nice voice, like on the phone.

I don;t think I could date a guy (REGARDLESS how good looking he is)

if he had a high pitched or feminine voice. Ick. I can kinda see where you;re coming from....and as shallow as it may seem...marrying someone and having to hear that the rest of your life is I guess a little scary..LOL

[SarahRose]

You have been with her for 3 years. Why is it a problem now? What do you expect her to do about her voice?

[Lady Bugg]

Hmmm he said everything else about her is great.....maybe him being stuck with her in the house 24/7 made him see nuiances about her he may have REALLY not been bothered by before..like her screechy voice. LOL

[DN]

Encourage her to take some acting classes, especially ones involving speech. The right breathing control can often help solve that because she needs to learn to speak from the diaphragm.

 

Don't tell her why exactly but make up another excuse - and maybe you could go together.

[Lady Bugg]

DN has a good suggestion. I hate my slight southern drawl..and wish I could change it sometimes. I know acting and Improv can help with that. Maybe speech therapy too. I realize if I talk slower than normal it sort of goes away...

[justaguy12]

Great suggestion DN. It really hit home when I started hearing it 24/7. When she had her own place, and full time job it was way more bearable.

Plus, she was a teacher for adults, and speaks very loud most of the time. I do love a soft sexy voice on a woman. Hey, I'm not perfect either so I should get used to the one imperfection she has.

[dogheadma]

The problem you are having is with one of her physical attributes so I think it technically comes down to a matter of being physically attracted to her or not. In my opinion, when you love someone then problems of this nature are not a part of the equation.