empty421 Posted August 21, 2006 Share Posted August 21, 2006 My boyfriend of over 3 years broke things off on Monday... it is now Sunday. I know it has not been that long, but I can barely function. On monday we had a huge argument and he couldnt take it anymore... he told me we needed time apart.. it was never oficially over... he basically told me that it wasnt completely over.. that he just needed to cool off... but he just seems so indifferent whenever we talk... then yesterday he played a song for me over the phone on the guitar and told me he was practicing all day and wanted to surprise me.... i was in shock... today we talked in the early afternoon and the conversation ended with a maybe we'll see eachother tonight. well i got my hopes up and it is now 9pm and he hasnt picked up my calls. why is he doing this... im destroyed.. what do I do?? I cant even eat anymore.. please help me! why?? Link to comment
annie24 Posted August 21, 2006 Share Posted August 21, 2006 welcome to enotalone. why exactly did you two break up? I agree, taking some time right now would probably be a good way to go. both of you should calm down. Link to comment
DN Posted August 21, 2006 Share Posted August 21, 2006 He said he couldn't take it anymore. Does that mean you two argue a lot? Link to comment
empty421 Posted August 21, 2006 Author Share Posted August 21, 2006 we argue all the time about stupid things... always something... i just feel like i try all the time to fix things and he is just taking the easy way out and giving up and giving me false hope... we broke up because of the constant fighting.. and because when we fight and he walks away without finishing it... i get angry and i dont let him leave... i dont let him cool down.. and i know that... and i apologized... im so angry right now and so confused and so hurt I seriously cant take it... i just want to go to his house and tell him that hes a selfish bastard and to go to hell because all he cares about is himself... after three years dont i at least deserve to have some say?? i dont know what to do! Link to comment
DN Posted August 21, 2006 Share Posted August 21, 2006 we argue all the time about stupid things... always something... i just feel like i try all the time to fix things and he is just taking the easy way out and giving up and giving me false hope... we broke up because of the constant fighting.. and because when we fight and he walks away without finishing it... i get angry and i dont let him leave... i dont let him cool down.. and i know that... and i apologized... im so angry right now and so confused and so hurt I seriously cant take it... i just want to go to his house and tell him that hes a selfish bastard and to go to hell because all he cares about is himself... after three years dont i at least deserve to have some say?? i dont know what to do! Well, if the anger you have now is indicative of the way you have displayed your anger in the past then I can see why he would walk away. Perhaps he might be amenable to trying again if you suggest that you manage the relationship without fighting and anger but by negotiation and compromise in a effort to make sure that both of you can be happy. Fighting and anger corrode relationships and very often someone will get tired of it and leave. Link to comment
empty421 Posted August 21, 2006 Author Share Posted August 21, 2006 i never talk to him like that i just feel that way but i love him and care about him enough to not talk to him like that. I never want to hurt him like that.. if anything he talks to me like that when he is angry... i avoid it at all costs...im just angry about the situation right now... im venting i guess... i just want him to care enough about me to call or pick up and tell me we wont be seeing eachother today instead of not saying anything.. Link to comment
DN Posted August 21, 2006 Share Posted August 21, 2006 What do you argue about? I know you said stupid things but they are obviously things that drove him away or at least how they were argued about. Who usually starts the arguments? Link to comment
empty421 Posted August 21, 2006 Author Share Posted August 21, 2006 the arguments are usually about somehthing i feel he has done that is an obvious thing (in my eyes) that is hurtful or you shouldnt do in a relationship) i usually start them because he does something upsetting.. i admit its not always necessary (i apoligized for that too)... but the reason that he dosent start them more of the time is because i do everything in my power to avoid him being mad at me.. i dont feel he does the same most of the time... i am just so different when it comes to things like this because I would never do these things.. he has done major things to me in the past and i try to fix them without doing this to him because i care about him and the relationship that much... i just feel he should do the same but i know we are different people i just dont know how to make myself understand because i feel as if i never will... Link to comment
DN Posted August 21, 2006 Share Posted August 21, 2006 It's hard to advise when you aren't being more forthcoming about what he does that upsets you. If they are petty things that is very different from major issues. Perhaps you should try just looking at those things and deciding for yourself. But I can tell you that there are fewer more corrosive things in a relationship than constant fights especially over small issues that should be settled in a few minutes without escalating into a major fight. Link to comment
empty421 Posted August 21, 2006 Author Share Posted August 21, 2006 thank you.. i just feel so lost right now... its sad that i really cant remember most of the things we argue about because they are so insignificant.. i know i cant make him take me back... but i just want a sense of direction... i just want to know things will be ok... i feel like half of me is missing and im very alone Link to comment
empty421 Posted August 21, 2006 Author Share Posted August 21, 2006 what should i do now? how do i stop this pain? Link to comment
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