Engagment rings

[MissMandaJo]

Do engagement rings have to be diamond for it to be considered an "engagement ring"? My boyfriend has been talking of getting me a ring for Christmas all year, and I think he wants to get me my birthstone (December)... but he also added the comment tonight that he doesnt think an engagement ring has to be diamond, its whatever I like the most. What do you guys think?

[Ians Mommy]

I think that a traditional engagment ring is a diamond but now-a-days, I think it can be just whatever you like.

 

I honestly love mine. It's 4 1/4 carat diamonds with silver around them and a gold band.

 

Basically, they can be whatever you want, not what "standards" are.

[RayKay]

No, I definitely don't think so. Diamonds were created as the sign of engagement to make money.

 

Most diamonds in the world are also coming from horrible situations..slave labour, even violence and death.

 

If you do want diamonds, stick to man made stones, or Canadian stones, etcetera. Know where it came from.

 

It's whats behind it that matters, not what stone it is.

 

Now, he may be fishing to find out what you want...or not. May be a totally random comment altogether....that you are linking...I don't know!

[CarnelianButterfly]

No it doesn't have to be a diamond!!!!

 

The diamond crap was started by DeBeers, one of the largest diamond mining companies in the world. They nearly enslaved people to mine their diamonds and then put them all in Swiss vaults so that they can regulate the market and keep the prices up.

 

I say have him get a stone that will mean more to you than a diamond. I have experience with stones and unless you buy a loose rock and have it set, you will not get a very good stone, most jewelry stores carry junk rocks that are poor color and clarity. You can get much prettier stones if you go with non-diamonds for the same price range.

[itsallgrand]

Nah, you can get whatever you want! It's going to be yours, so it should be what you like and what means something to you.

 

Re: Diamonds. Have you read or seen what has happened in the Democratic Republic of Congo in order to produce these diamonds for us? It's horrific.

Slavery still exists.

 

And you know, if you like diamonds, there are some beautiful antique and previously owned pieces out there. That's another option.

[Hope75]

I think that a traditional engagment ring is a diamond but now-a-days, I think it can be just whatever you like.

 

I honestly love mine. It's 4 1/4 carat diamonds with silver around them and a gold band.

 

Basically, they can be whatever you want, not what "standards" are.

 

4.2 carats?

 

I forget...are they multiple stones?

 

Where'd your guy get the dough for a ring like that, Dani?

[redrose85]

I don't think you need to have a diamond necessarily. I was engaged in the past (dumb I know) and I had a peridot stone with a small diamond on each side. I loved that ring. My only concern with it was that the green didn't match a lot of my clothes. A diamond goes with everything, that and the hype may be why it is more popular.

[vandgsmom]

I think that a plain gold ring and a whole-hearted promise means more than a rock any day.

 

Let him buy whatever will be the most sentimental for him. You can be more pushy about the wedding band if you want to, but the more you allow him to let his enthusiasm for commiting himself to you show, the more he will be into the rest of the process.

 

And won't it be so sweet to sit on your rocking chairs 50 years from now and laugh about how you both worried so much about it, and have him tell you the story of how he picked it out for the 4 thousandth time??

[RayKay]

I also know people whom never even had rings, as they did not want them. One of my friends got a new carbon seatpost for her road bike (if you are a bike nut...you'd understand!), and then as a wedding present got a whole new bike, and for wedding rings they just had simple jade rings (he was allergic to metals anyway).

 

Myself, I would be happy with something like that as long as it was something he knew that would be what I would love....I want a wedding band of some sort, but the engagement ring in my opinion is something you don't USUALLY wear for the rest of your life (though some do).

 

The size of the rock, or shine on the ring don't determine how strong your relationship is and will be.

[tylercdurden2004]

A cool Idea which I always thought I would get for a girl is a Claddagh Ring. Claddagh is now a section of Galway city in Ireland but used to be its own fishing village, I lived there for a while and always thought the idea behind it is really cool and represents what an engagement is all about. They are slick looking too.

 

 

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[RayKay]

A cool Idea which I always thought I would get for a girl is a Claddagh Ring. Claddagh is now a section of Galway city in Ireland but used to be its own fishing village, I lived there for a while and always thought the idea behind it is really cool and represents what an engagement is all about. They are slick looking too.

 

 

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They remind me too much of junior high...everyone had them then I remember...boyfriends bought them for girlfriends, girlfriends for boyfriends...all over the place...of course, none of these are couples that lasted the long term...

 

But if your junior high was LESS dumb, then the association may not seem as "immature" as it does from my experience!

[tylercdurden2004]

They remind me too much of junior high...everyone had them then I remember...boyfriends bought them for girlfriends, girlfriends for boyfriends...all over the place...of course, none of these are couples that lasted the long term...

 

But if your junior high was LESS dumb, then the association may not seem as "immature" as it does from my experience!

 

 

Yes Vancouver is much more hip and not so in the 1800's.

[RayKay]

Or you could think of it as we were way ahead of your time

[Hope75]

I actually know a few Irish couples where the man wears a claddagh ring as his wedding band.

 

My bf gave me a white gold one for Valentine's Day several years ago with my initials and the date. When I am not at work I wear it everywhere. It's a beautiful ring and I love what it represents.

 

They were not very popular in high school when I went...

 

Maybe I'm just getting old....

[redrose85]

I'd much rather have the guy pick out a ring. If he really knows you, he'll know what your taste is, and what you like. I agree, most people don't wear their engagement ring for the rest of their lives. I really just like plain round bands for a wedding ring, and something smaller as an engagement ring that wouldn't get in the way. Can't stand those big honkin solitaires.

[Ians Mommy]

4.2 carats?

 

I forget...are they multiple stones?

 

Where'd your guy get the dough for a ring like that, Dani?

 

haha no. It's 4 separate diamonds that are 1/4 carat each. 1 carat total lol.

[Hope75]

haha no. It's 4 separate diamonds that are 1/4 carat each. 1 carat total lol.

 

 

Oh! I was going to say.. now you are getting tacky because it's TOO big!

 

That makes alot more sense.

[Ians Mommy]

Oh! I was going to say.. now you are getting tacky because it's TOO big!

 

That makes alot more sense.

 

I don't think I'd be able to carry around a 4 carat stone. It would just drive me nuts and look bad. I love my ring though. It's perfect for me.

[Scout]

After everything I've learned about diamonds - they're produced in horrific conditions by people that are virtually slaves, plus they're not even really rare - I don't want a diamond engagement ring. I want an emerald or sapphire! But does anyone know if those are produced under the same conditions as diamonds?

 

And actually, I'd probably be happy with any ring I was given, especially if sentimental thought was put into to it.

[BrokenWingedFaery]

Engagement rings can be anything you want them to be, they don't even have to be RINGS. It can be a bracelet or a necklace, the idea is what counts.

[anydaynow]

An engagement ring can be anything! But clever marketing has made diamonds a popular choice.

 

I like the sparkle of diamonds, but I'd rather go with a well cut CZ! There are a lot of reasons, including inhumane mining practices, cost, etc. CZs are beautiful, flawless, colorless stones in their own right, not just as a diamond simulant. They are about an 8.5 on the Mohs hardness scale- I think that is at (or past) the ratings for garnets, aquamarines, and several other semi-precious gemstones. You can get nice hand cut CZs (not those poorly polished machine-stamped-out ones you see at the dept store) that sparkle like mad!

 

I told my bf that I wanted a CZ, not a diamond, and he is a little concerned that everyone will think he is a cheapskate! Well, I'm pretty frugal and I love that he is, too! I'd like him to take the money he saves by getting CZ instead of a diamond and donate it to a non-profit organization that we'd both like to support. After thinking along those lines, that the money could really help others, it is almost socially irresponsible to buy a diamond!

 

For emeralds, rubies, & sapphires- I'm not sure if there are conflicts with mining these stones. But you can buy synthetic! Synthetic is not the same as simulated. CZ is a diamond simulant. A synthetic emerald, ruby, or sapphire is chemically, physically, and optically identical to its 'natural' or mined counterpart. A big plus- synthetic stones are flawless and less expensive!

 

I also think more people I know these days plan to wear their engagement ring as part of their 'wedding set' forever.

[Ians Mommy]

I also think more people I know these days plan to wear their engagement ring as part of their 'wedding set' forever.

 

They also come in sets as mine did. He bought both the engagement ring and wedding ring together and it was cheaped than to buy them separate. I am completely in love with my ring and I'd rather wear it than the wedding band because it's just plain gold and I'm not a big fan of gold but the engagement ring is both silver and gold. Sounds like a weird combination but I think it's beautiful.