Jabbe Posted August 18, 2006 Share Posted August 18, 2006 My girlfriend graduates boot camp next month. The problem is that they only give a one vehicle pass. The other problem is that her parents don't like me at all, and have threatened me on many occasions and even say bad things about me behind my back. I have never even done anything at all to deserve that and don't know where it's coming from. She really wants me to go to her graduation, but of course I don't really want to be stuck in the car with her parents for hours upon hours. I planned on this alternative: Take a bus or rent a car to get there. I won't be able to see the graduation, but we will be more likely to spend some alone time together. I could possible stay longer too. What do you think? Link to comment
BrokenWingedFaery Posted August 18, 2006 Share Posted August 18, 2006 I say go with the alternative, unless you suddenly start to get along with her 'rents. Link to comment
DN Posted August 18, 2006 Share Posted August 18, 2006 Can you get into the graduation ceremony by taking a bus and walking in? Link to comment
Jabbe Posted August 18, 2006 Author Share Posted August 18, 2006 Hmm? I don't know why that never crossed my mind. I'll try to find out. Thanks! Link to comment
Jabbe Posted August 18, 2006 Author Share Posted August 18, 2006 We're in separate states, btw. Link to comment
syborg Posted August 18, 2006 Share Posted August 18, 2006 Go with the parents and make the following points clear (1) You are being mature. If you have nothing to hide then show them you are good person (2) It his you g/f's graduation so its her special day so forget your own fears and worries and agree with her parents to make it special for her sake. (3) Be yourslef. Don't try to over impress, show off, or be something your not. Just Show her parents that you want to support their daughter and be dignified and ignore any "nasty" comments they might make. If they see that you make an effort, it may help them to like you (4) Most parents disaprove of their daughters b/f. Its natural. Avoiding them and not seeing them makes it worse. Good luck Link to comment
rikka Posted August 19, 2006 Share Posted August 19, 2006 I agree with syborg. This is her special day and she wants you there... so you better be there. Even if it means making the sacrifice of spending "hours upon hours" with her parents. Show everyone you can be mature and put personal differences aside. Besides, if you envision a future with this girl, her parents are always going to be there. Link to comment
Ixtapa Posted August 19, 2006 Share Posted August 19, 2006 I'd also say go with the parents. By doing that you will prove that your girlfriend is really important to you...and if her parents have truly no reason not to like you (other than a "feeling" they have based on nothing)..this might be a good way for them to realise that they are wrong about you. Link to comment
Jabbe Posted August 19, 2006 Author Share Posted August 19, 2006 I guess I'll just bite the bullet and see what happens. I'm just hoping that they don't try to ditch me at the last moment, and make up some story about why I "couldn't" go. I guess I'll update you all as soon as I get word. It's also possible that they would say no. Wish me luck! Link to comment
rikka Posted August 19, 2006 Share Posted August 19, 2006 GOOD LUCK!!!!! I am sure things will go fine! Link to comment
Jabbe Posted August 20, 2006 Author Share Posted August 20, 2006 I called and talked to her mom. She said that she doesn't think she could stand to be in a car with me for 30 minutes. As the conversation went on, it seemed like she was swaying, but maybe it was just my optimism. I know for a fact that her dad wouldn't want me anywhere near him without question. It's just a lost cause. I tried, people. It looks like I may have to try and figure out the alternatives. I really hope they allow me to walk on. I'll call tomorrow and find out. I really appreciate your opinions and do think that it would've worked out better in the long run if we all went together. The only thing her mom asks of me is to not be a failure, so this shouldn't make things much worse than they already are. If I can find a way without anyone knowing, it would be a tremendous surprise for her to see me there. It's sort of like saying "I'll find ways to be there for you no matter what." I'd appreciate any further comments! Link to comment
DN Posted August 20, 2006 Share Posted August 20, 2006 What does her Mom mean by "don't be a failure"? Has your g/f ever told you why they don't like you? Link to comment
Jabbe Posted August 20, 2006 Author Share Posted August 20, 2006 She basically wants a man that would be good enough for her daughter. For some reason, she has the impression that I'm sitting around at home mooching off my parents when I've been trying to move out and go to school for the past 2 years. My parents are having credit and bill problems. If I leave, there is a strong possibility that they may lose the house they've worked so hard for. I can't do that to them. Because they've taken care of me, I feel I should return the favor, but not for too much longer. I've even decided to take up getting in a different degree at a local college. I'll focus on the main one I want later on down the road. I think what she was really trying to say was "don't be like my husband." All he does is sit around all day while she works at least 3 different jobs. I was surprised when she actually tried to level with me, and understood where I was coming from with the whole situation about my parents. My girl has told me that they always say such bad things about me behind my back. I guess the reason that they don't like me is because they feel that I am brainwashing her and trying to take her away from them. It's definitely paranoia on their part. I have nothing but the best intentions for us. Link to comment
syborg Posted August 26, 2006 Share Posted August 26, 2006 Cant stand to be with you in a car for 30 mins ? How HORRIBLE is that In life we don't always get on with ppl but to say something like that is just ill mannered, rude and disrespectful. Link to comment
Jabbe Posted August 27, 2006 Author Share Posted August 27, 2006 I agree. It's horrible. I tried and there's really nothing else I can do. It worked out in a way because a family member that she hasn't seen for awhile is back in town, so I'll let him take my place. This means that I can surprise her by showing up to her graduation. As of now, she thinks that I'm not coming. I'll find away and surprise them all. Link to comment
Jabbe Posted August 27, 2006 Author Share Posted August 27, 2006 Can you get into the graduation ceremony by taking a bus and walking in? I just found out that this will be possible. (^_^) Link to comment
Ixtapa Posted August 27, 2006 Share Posted August 27, 2006 That's really cool !!! She will be so happy to see you there .... and her parents will see that you dont get intimidated that easily Good luck !! Link to comment
rikka Posted August 28, 2006 Share Posted August 28, 2006 YAY for you!!! I am glad you are finding a way to get there. You are really going to make her day. A little bit of perseverance might also increase her parents' opinion of you. Good luck with everything! Link to comment
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