He hit me!

[nmduipd]

I always thought, if a guy hit me, he’d never see me again. I’m definitely not a doormat.

I still can’t get over the shock. I can’t believe he did it.

He pushed me and I fell down.

 

I never expected this.

This is the first time he did something like this. He has always been very

I’ve never ever had an experience like this.

I told him I don’t want to see him ever again – but I’m still checking my messages

 

 

To be honest, I was winding him up. I was being unbearable.

But I don’t think that is an excuse.

 

Was it my fault? Should I forgive him?

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

No, you don't forgive him.

 

It might hurt to miss him for awhile, but you deserve someone better. Once violent, usually violent again, I'm afraid.

 

Just leave him, and stay away from him.

[celticghirl]

i agree. i made the mistake of not walking away the first time my ex hit me and that gave him an excuse to do it again and again.

 

keep away from him please.

 

leah

[nmduipd]

I don’t want to see him again. Ever!

I miss him already, I want him to call and at least apologise.

I can’t believe this is happening.

I’m totally shaken.

 

If anyone else asked, I wouldn't be able to find an ecxuse.

Now, I'm lookinfg for excuses.

How pathetic I am!

[PRSOV]

You have made the right decision, now stick to it!

 

As ALSS if he does it once, he is likely to do it again. Which is something you shouldn't even have to deal with once. What a jerk, if he cared about you he would not do this.

 

Be strong, you have the power now...

 

PR

[celticghirl]

it doesnt matter. you dont need an excuse. him raising his hand you is no excuse. nothing can justify it. it is not your fault so stop doing that.

 

men like that dont apologise and if they do then they dont really mean it so i wouldnt hold my breath. my ex apologised and made promises that he would change. his change lasted a week before he went back to his old ways.

 

you will only miss him for a short while then you will get with someone who treats a woman with respect. take care

 

leah

[nottoogreen]

Hi nmduipd,

 

I regret your predicament. I concur with earlier posters that there is no point to continue with the relationship.

 

Here is a read which may well awaken you: link removed

 

Please let us know how he and you match up.

[Beec]

if he does it once, he is likely to do it again. Which is something you shouldn't even have to deal with once. What a jerk, if he cared about you he would not do this.

 

No excuses for him, but couldn't you say the same things about her, if she was being unbearable.

 

Doesn't sound like a healthy relationship in any case. She should stay away, and hopefully learn from this too. There's no excuse for either him or her.

[G0d]

I would just like to give you a different prospective on your situation.

I also would like to say that if some one is beating on you with out provocation they have problems.

 

I have never hit anyone who didn't hit me first. That doesn't mean its right but that is the way I am. I don't care if you're small or big. A woman or a man if you hit me and it hurt your going to get a shot in the face.

 

On the other hand you can yell at me all day and I would never raise my fist just over yelling.

 

There are only certain times when I will handle a woman like a man. Those times are if she is pointing a weapon at me (gun, knife, baseball bat). A fist would also count if she has been warned by me about my rules if she knows my rules about violence. Then she would know if you hit me it could and probably will in rage me enough to return fire.

[Momene]

I agree that you should leave him but I'll urge you NOT to push and antagonise anyone to the point where they do and say something that they'll regret later. I've never hit a woman but I have been deliberately pushed too far sometimes. I think if you push someone too far, it's pointless because any semblance of a reasonable conversation just goes right out of the window.

[renaissancewoman101]

I do agree with Moneme, you pushed him and antagonized him, a great deal it seems. Also, did he REALLY hit you? You first said he "hit" you, then you said that he "pushed" you and you fell down. Sometimes, people can just shove someone in anger or because you antagonized them to the point of no return.

 

I am not saying that he is right in what he did, or that you are wrong in the way you reacted. What I am saying is maybe he acted out in anger and is now very sorry for what he did.

 

If he comes back and apologizes profusely and makes efforts to make it up to you, show you that he cares and is willing to change his ways, then I would give him another chance, mind you, just ONE more chance. If he fouls up again, kick him to the curb.

 

I always try to give people the benefit of the doubt.

[zipacna2006]

My gut says, run NOW. The only time I would even consider striking a woman is if my life were in danger (in other words, said woman was coming at me with a knife, a gun, trying to push me down a flight of stairs, etc). Other than actualy fear for my life, there's no reason for physical violence against anyone, man or woman. Just my 2 cents.

[Dako]

Leave him.

[Bethany]

What you did was back him into a corner and left him nowhere to go. He didn't hit you, he pushed you away.

 

I don't agree that pushing someone who fell over is physical abuse but from your other posts, things have been rocky for a while. Best just walk away now.

[rose2summer]

IMO, any man that hits a woman is not worth anyone's time. I don't care that she antagonized him, he hit her, and that makes him NOT a gentleman, and no woman should ever be treated that way. Was it wrong to antagonize him? Who knows? We weren't there, but it's time to walk away. I knew my ex came from a family of abuse, physical and verbal, and guess what, he was verbally abusive and degrading to me, and it never changed. Walk away, don't look back, and save yourself some heartache before this continues.

[Hope75]

Hey There,

 

Even if you antagonized him to no end (which isn't OK to do, but IS NOT an excuse for pushing you and being violent) he still had the option to walk away and to not lay his hands on you.

 

What exactly happened?

[Beec]

Was it wrong to antagonize him? Who knows? We weren't there, but it's time to walk away.

 

Is it ever right to antagonize someone? I don't think so.

[rose2summer]

A real man (gentleman) never lays his hands on a woman, no matter the circumstances, he could have walked away.

[savannahohsavannah]

Some guys are so good at spinning the truth they make you believe that you caused them to do things to you. Don't buy into that one in the least. Don't go near this fella, and if he tries to come near you get a restraining order. As a matter of fact, I'd get an order now.

[kcil]

Ok, you may think u still have a lot of feelings for him, and thats because uve been together for a while. But honestly I agree with ALSS, if u get back together then hell see it as weakness and it would increase the chance of if happeneing again. As a guy, I would never EVER do anything like that. No matter what you did to make him upset im sure it shouldnt have made a difference, he should never have done that. What possibly could have been going through his mind I have no idea. Anyway, you deserve better than this. Everybody does. Dump his * * * and never pick it up again.

[nmduipd]

I still can't believe what happened. Still in denial, I suppose.

Yes, we had our problems, but this?!

 

He did hit me – hard enough that I fell down. He was in the middle of the room (not in the corner) and he didn't just push me away. I didn't threaten him with a weapon or anything like that. I didn't hit him first – I never hit anyone in my life (including my child).

 

The truth is we had a raw, we were both yelling at each other.

To be honest, now I don't think that I was being so unbearable.

He had a pretty bad day though.

We both were under a lot of stress and we were both irritated by each other reaction.

 

He called to apologise, I didn't answer the phone. I just couldn't talk to him. So, he sent me a text, asking me to forgive him. I didn't reply.

I don't think I can forgive him.

 

There are not many things on my 'unforgivable' list, but this is one of them.

 

Thanks again so much to everyone who replied.

[Hope75]

I don't think that it forgivable in this case.

 

Sounds like you made the right choice, for your own safety.

[Bethany]

After reading that he DID hit you, I agree with Hope. For me, that would be the end.

[n2ndplace]

I was married for 22 years to a man who loved me, but could not stop abusing me. I believe that he did love me. But I also believe his problems, inside himself, kept him from being able to control himself.

Don't spend years waiting for him to change. Statisics say he won't. Move on, and find someone who can love you, and respect you.

[Ms. Babydoll]

no matter how much you love this man, out of the 99% that you love him, that 1% of doubt you have from him hitting you should be enough to tell you that the relationship should end. You'll never be able to love him 100% if he's done something as physically hurt you.

It's hard to let go at first but I think you breaking it off with him was the best possible thing you could do for yourself in this situation