Dad asked me to be his alibi....

[erica]

my dad has cheated on my mom a few times in the past, but everything has been all right for the past 2 or 3 years after they decided to stay together. then last nite my dad called me and said, "can u do me favor? can you please tell your mother that i was just talking to u on the phone and that i said i loved u?" my dad and i are very close and so i made up a story and told my mom that i had just been talking to him. he hasn't even called me back today to talk about what happened. i think the only reason he stays with my mom is that she would be a complete basketcase if they were to get a divorce. i feel like what he does is his business but i did not want to be brought into it. does anyone have any advice? i have no idea what to do.

[RayKay]

I would not get involved.

 

Tell your dad that you are not able to lie to your mum for him, and refuse to do it.

 

I know it is hard when you love your parents, but don't get involved in between their marriage...believe me it won't "fix" anything and will cause undue strain on you too.

[Scotcha]

That's a tricky situation and 100% unfair to you. Tell your father to leave you out of it!

[yeawutever]

I agree with the poster, don't get involve in that mess. Tell him that's his business, not yours.

[sumguy]

I'd tell him you don't want to be brought into it anymore. If he continues to draw you into it in even more complicated ways, forcing you into deeper levels of lying and stuff, then it might be a good time to let your mother know...

 

Hope this helped =)

 

Edit: Isn't it nice when everyone agrees... ^_^

[yeawutever]

First of all, you should be sticking up for your mother (the innocent)-- not your father (the guilty).

 

But it's not the kids job to solve the marriage nor take sides. That's between her father and mother.

[coollady1957]

I agree with the others. I would refuse to lie and make excuses for him. You certainly do not need to be brought in between your mom and dads problem.

 

You do not need the stress and guilt over having to be his alibi and make up lies to your mom. That is so ridiculous for him to have asked you to do such a thing.

[Spugly Fuglet]

I feel very strongly about this, he is makeing you a lier and that is wrong.

I would have a chat with him and tell him never to do that again.

He may think its ok but it your life and your morels at stake here.

But thats me, I love my dad to but he knows I would never do such a thing and knows not to ask.

[lil_unique_me]

i remember my dad telling me that he suspected my mum was having an affair with his best mate..turns out she was...

but it was grossly unfair of my dad to tell me that, especially considering i was only 11...

leave ur dad to sort his mess out, he got himself into it, hes old enough to get himself out!

Catie xxx

[kevinhater]

do not allow your father to use you like this. your love for him does not require that you lie for him.

[renaissancewoman101]

That's the sad thing that usually occurs when parents have marital problems. The kids usually get dragged into it. My main reason for going away to college in Wisconsin was because of my parent's marital problems. The last two years of high school were hellish for me at home. My dad cheated on my mother and my mom constantly would tell me about her marital problems and wanted advice from me to help her deal. She also wanted me to take her side against my dad and constantly told me how much my dad hated me, talked bad about me, etc. That was very hard on me because I was and still am somewhat close to my dad. I was also having academic problems in school and that got my mom really mad at me. She accused me of causing problems in their marriage, not taking her side, etc. I ended up going to my dad to help deal with my mother and her constant anger at my academic problems. My dad was there for me and helped me out a bit. My dad never said a cross word about my mother nor did he ever involve me or my brother in their marital situation. Because of the tense home situation, I left home. It was NOT fun to be put in the middle of it and I had feelings of guilt a lot.

 

If you can, stay out of it and tell your dad that he has to deal with this on his own and it isnt fair for him to drag you into it since you love them BOTH and respect them as parents.

[theantibarbie23]

I am sorry but you need to stand up to your father and quit lying for him. There is no excuse for his behavior. He has no right to involve you in his torrid affairs. I also think you should tell your mother the truth about what happened last night because he is risking her health when he runs around on her. My dad wound up with aids due to cheating. People never think it will happen to their family but it does. Besides she should be able to make choices about her life based on reality and the reality is your dad is disrespecting you both.

[doyathink]

But it's not the kids job to solve the marriage nor take sides. That's between her father and mother.

 

I agree with you 100% Ailec!

 

If your kid knew that your husband was cheating on you, wouldn't you want to know? Besides- I'm sure the mother has some clue as to what's going on with the father, anyway. Most women are intuitive enough to realize it.

 

Maybe telling the mother is what will be needed in order to get the dad off her back. Screw that "it's the mom and dad's business." This is a family, and you know what, what the father is doing is affecting EVERYONE in the family, not just the mother.

 

While this may be your opinion, I would never bring one of my kids in on 'my' marriage problems! Although they are part of what makes up the family, it isn't their responsibility to help 'fix' the marriage. They don't need the added stress and pain of getting in between two poeple they love!

 

The emotional turmoil is too great for the children, let alone, to choose 'sides' and to have to 'RAT' on one of your own parents would mortify you for the rest of your life. They would feel as though it were partly their fault that the parents split if it came down to that!

[Rylies Mommy]

wow when I first started reading it I was all "get into it" but ailec is way right its not the kids place at all... its completley not fair and you should just try your best to stay out of it

[ChrissyV]

Do not lie for your dad.

I always snitch on wrongdoers (even if it happens to be my dad).

Stick up for your mom.

Sorry you are experiencing this. I know it must be difficult.

[Rabican]

his mess, his problem. If he really cares for you he wouldnt put you on the spot like that. Furthermore, I would tell him to either man up, and end either his marriage or his affair. Running both at once is a shady thing to do, and If I caught my dad doing it I would floor him.

[Oldboy]

Give your father an ultimatum. Either he tells your mother or you do. By all means let your parents sort it out but you are being terribly used here in the betrayal of your mother.

This affair could go on indefinitely. You are already in deep in the knowledge of what is happening.

For your own sense of duty to your parents you must get your father to do the right thing and then back off out of it.