OK, what is going on here...

[AmikeA]

I simply cannot figure this situation out. A few months ago my ex began working with me. Everything was going swell, it wasn't weird, and we were interacting like nothing ever happened between us. Then a few weeks ago I invited her to a party I was having... and things seemed to change. She became very flirty at work, and invited herself to go shopping with me for the party. She even asked if she could show up a few hours early, because she wasn't coming with anyone. Nothing happened at the party, well nothing serious, but from what im told we were with each otehr the entire night.

 

She kept making excused to hang out with me, just to come over and watch tv, or even to come with me for a haircut. It got to the point where people at work noticed we were acting different around one another and I had several people ask me what was going on. I became cautious and straight up asked her what her intentions were. She said she just had fun hanging out with me, and said she was sorry if I had gotten the wrong idea or if she was sending the wrong signs. No biggie, we are both on the same page now I think, I have no problem being friends.

 

However her signals did not stop, and if anyhtig became more apparent. She began calling me on her breaks, and text messaging me multiple times a day. My shift got changed at work and with it my social likfe became muddled, when Itold her of my boreing week she suggested we hang out. I suggested a movie, because I have been trying to see clerks 2 for a couple weeks now to no avail. However she had not seen the first and asked if she could come over and watch it a couple days beforehand. Keeing in mind she said she just wanted a friend to ahng out with, I had no intention of "making a move" on her. During the movie I sat on the opposite end of the loveseat, she turned herself sideways so her legs would make contact with my side. I ignored it, not wanting to take it the wrong way. Afterwards we played some videogames and she began flirting by hitting me when I was winning etc... Again I ignored it, not wanting to take it the wrong way. The night ended normally, but 10 mins after leaving my house she sent me a text message telling me how much fun she had and sayting she couldt wait to hang out thursady (today)

 

Now I am left wondering what exactly is going on here, she is obviously sending me signs, wither intentionally or not, but she strongly denied she was looking for anythign more than friendship. I am going out with her in a couple hours and am left very, very confused. I have no problems just being friends with this girl, but it would be nice to know what exactly she is doing. Any takes on this?

[scarew]

Sorry I feel like I don't understand the situation fully. Do YOU want her to send you these signs? Or are you trying to stay away from having a relationship with this woman?

[Viper62382]

Excuse my french, but it sound like a tease. I would continue to ignore it, but not obviously. She will either to continue until she will say whats really on her mind. I dont know how old she is, but a girl can say I just want to be friends, but dont mean thats ALL her intentions. Think about it, she could be hanging out with any other guy doing the same thing, bu why you? She must be doing it for a reason, and I would continue to do what your doing without getting attached. And before you know it, she might bust out and tell you something.

[Hope75]

Have you thought of directly coming out again, with examples of her behavior that could be misconstrued, and asking her what her intentions are?

 

Tell her she's stepping over the boundaries of being just friends.

 

If you are OK with that, (want to get back with her) ask her if she wants to try and work on things.

 

If not, maybe you need to step back a bit and stop agreeing to spend time with her and responding to her texts and emails and phone calls.

 

She certainly is sending a mixed message if she isn't interested in you still!

[AmikeA]

I could honestly go either way with this. To me right now its nothing more than a friendship, if she wanted something more I would consider giving it a go, after talking some things over of course. However if shes just looking for a friendship I have no problem with that either. I just dont like being left in the dark wondering whats going on.

 

I certainly dont jump at ever oppertunity to be with her, she invited me clubbing on the weekend and I said no, basically because I didn't know what to expect from it and didn't want to give/go in with the wrong idea.

 

I also do not want to jeopardize a friendship by bringing the whole "mixed signals" topic up again. Especially so early.

 

Part of me thinks that she does indeed want something more, but is afraid because she ended the relationship a couple of years ago. She may be embarrassed or just very hesitant about her feelings.... I dunno thats the best theory I have

[theproman23]

I am in a similar situation. My ex broke up with me about 6 weeks ago and she's been calling and asking to be friends. The whole time we went out she never asked to hang out and when I talked to her last night she asked me what I was doing this weekend and when I asked why she said she wanted to see if I can hang out with her. I want to come out with my feelings that i want to try things again but I dont want to ruin things esepcially if she's looking at this just as a friendship then it would just be embarrasing.

 

So keep in mind what you want. If you think you'll be ok with her flirting around you and just being friends then just be cautious and be careful. But personally I would say get out, this girl wants attention. If you stop giving it I can see her changing but all depends on the whole situation.

[AmikeA]

*update*

 

its been nearly 2 weeks since i posted the original thread. I decide to let things happen on their own, not to force anything. Anyhow after hangingh out a few more times thigs got closer and closer, until last night. We were watching a movie, and got pretty close, so i kissed her. We kissed a few times, and held each other for a while, then started to talk about what exactly is going on between us etc etc. However her ride arrived and she had to leave, so we are to resume the conversation today. It seems as if things might work out for the better here, but im not throwing all my dice in just yet.

[rnorth]

So there is your answer. she is sending you all the signals but she wants you to make the moves. You said that you had asked her of her intentions and she said she was just having fun, but behind that were ulterior motives.

 

If you have are having fun with it, then enjoy the ride. If you think you'd like to explore more, then move in that direction. If you are uncomfortable with this situation-just want to remain friends- be clear about your own boundaries.

 

But be happy. You are in control of the situation!

[empty421]

good luck!! i hope everything works out for you!! just dont get your hopes up too much.. its better to expect less and get much more!!