Siraf Posted August 9, 2006 Share Posted August 9, 2006 Far away, past the mountains far Through the oceans taste the mist That swirls around our sould so deep Fate clenches you, a steady fist The sun shines now, smiles sucked away Shadows sharp, run high and fly Confusion following steps you take Wondering when its life's turn to die Moonlight shy but steadyily shows Nighttime now, musty graveyard air Stars taking shape, above your heart The nightsky surrenders, feeling bare A path neverending, a pain always there Foollow that light to nowhere forever Hopeless hold on to patience, cry one more dream Watch your soul's final sever A morbid poem but it just flowed out.. 1 Link to comment
second_opinion Posted August 9, 2006 Share Posted August 9, 2006 I like!! Its a good poem! Link to comment
Steven1607307306 Posted August 9, 2006 Share Posted August 9, 2006 Very nice, very well structured as well. Link to comment
yeawutever Posted August 9, 2006 Share Posted August 9, 2006 I like the poem too, keep writing more!!!!!!!!!! Link to comment
KillTheSilence Posted August 10, 2006 Share Posted August 10, 2006 man that was nice. I've never really been able to create a good poem like this outta rhyming, and i doubt i ever will. it's too hard for me to capture the image with a rhyming lexicon 4 some reason ](*,) Link to comment
Ms. Babydoll Posted August 18, 2006 Share Posted August 18, 2006 Wow, great job, it has something magical about it, I really like it! Link to comment
Siraf Posted December 19, 2006 Author Share Posted December 19, 2006 Thanks everyone ^^ Link to comment
blueangel Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 I didn't want it to end. It pulled at me. Link to comment
vandgsmom Posted January 10, 2007 Share Posted January 10, 2007 I love poems like this that seem to breath you in and when they exhale you, you float among the words... Very nice. Link to comment
johnaintdoe Posted January 17, 2007 Share Posted January 17, 2007 creepy yet very cool i really liked the "graveyard air" it gave me that feeling Link to comment
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