my family is so critical and out of line

[Colls]

Sry this is goin to be long, I thank ne one in advance for reading it.

 

Ive been trying to hold everything inside for a very long time now. U see, my family.... my grandmother esp. and my aunt...are the biggest backstabbers in the world. I mean wen i go over to my nana's house, my aunt is usually there because she is practically attached to my nana at the hip and has no life. So i go there and they are so nice to me and everything, but wen i leave they talk abotu me non stop.

 

My other aunt, liek my best friend, tells me everything they say. They do it to everyone tho, but i cannot believe they would do it to their own granddaughter and niece. I am 17 yrs old, should i have to put up with my family talkin about, never mind everyone else in this world.

 

Little things have led up to me being very ve angry with them. They say that my mother bought me my car, when I BOUGHT IT. They will n ot accept that I paid forf it out of my own pocket. Then they say that my mother pays for my gas, when I PAY FOR IT. Again they cant accept that I have responsibilities and pay for everything out of my own pocket. I mean, i honestly believe i should. If i want to drive around, then i need to pay for gas.

 

Then today was the last straw, My aunt the one I am friends with told me that my nana and aunt said that i should never wear what i had been wearing yesterday again. I could not believe that they said I looked terrible...their exact words. I had on a Tommy Hilfiger shirt and sweatpant shorts. I thought i looked cute. They said i should never wear that again.

 

Well while i was there, I held back form crying. It really hurt me that they talk about me, esp. for what im wearing. I love them to death and i sho it in ne way i can, and they backstab me.. my own grandmother and aunt. I have an issue with my weight and them sayin i looked bad made me sooooo upset. I trully am contemplating whether i should eva go over there again or not. They hurt me really bad this time.

 

Then they say that my 20 yr brother would do ne thing for them. I would go outta my way if i was thousands of miles away.......but they will not give me credit for ne thing i do. My brother is some kind of gos in their eyes. They think he is the nicest kid and wouldnt hurt a fly. They also say how all the little cousins i have LOVE MY BROTHER. i do everything with my cousins and i am the only one who holds the baby, and never wants to put her down. But i get nothing.

 

Ohh one more thing lol. They say that all i do is drive around non stop and do nothing with my life. I need a job according to them. Im sorry i am 17 yrs old and i just got my car. It is a convertible. Of course i am goin to drive around. I babysit and i make all my money that way. They have no right to tell me to get a job. I dont ask my mojther for ne money at all. i pay for gas and everything i do. I am not irresponsible, but in their eyes i just aimlously drive aroudn the city with nothing to do. I admit YES I DO DO THAT. I LOOK FOR GUYS. who doesnt?? lol.

 

Ok so what should i do? Should i confront them? They yell all the time and enjoy confrontation, so i dont just wanna start with them for nothing. But i really feel they are outta hand. Im sick of it, I really am. I am to the point where i say i hate them. I dont want to hate my family or disown them, but their actions are making me want to. Does ne one know what i should do. I will take any advice u give. Thanks in advance.

[inanna1607306450]

why take it? i konw you love your family so do i but mine is the same way and i just stop goin around and than they really see how much you do, dont take it anymore get out of there. you dont have to disown them or anything just dont come around so much. maybe they will get the picture

[Francis]

I understand you perfectly because my aunts are the same with me. Actually, I have decided never to speak with them again. I believe your aunt and grandmother are jealous of you. I have read studies that say that women and minorities often perform badly in academics because there is a lot of pressure to stay integrated to the family level.

 

That means that jealous people will not allow you to grow and to have anything more than what they have. Be very careful. Unfortunately, I did not have anyone to tell me that they were all jealous and giving me bad advice. I found it myself and it was hard.

 

The best thing is to distance yourself from them. If they can't appreciate you, then you should be with people who will.

 

Good luck!

[vicki88]

As much as some people will disagree with this, I have to say it anyways. Your grandmother and aunt are probably only looking out for you. You have to take the time to realize that by running away from your problems, you will never fix them. Nowheres in your post did u mention taling to either of them about the issues that you have with them. Maybe they are truly inconsiterate and dont realize how much of an emotionaal strain that they are having on you. When talking to them though, dont have an attitude as much as youu may want to because they it is justifying the thins that they say about you. Be mature and take your time. You mightn't want to do what you may think to do....... distance your self. How gulty would you feel if your grandmother were to pass away today and you never did have the chance to reconcile things with her. When the situation gets heated and things dont work, tae a deep breath and try again. They mightnt respond at first, and as hard as this is, dont take their comments to heart, you know that you are better than that so start at the root of the problem and talk to them about it.

 

ps: good for you to be able to buy your own car and be independent!

[frail]

Have you ever confronted them before? Do they know this upsets you? I have discovered that there are some people out there who truly are drama queens. Some people who will talk smack about other people behind there backs, just to cause drama. They probably know your other aunt tells you the things they say. I may be wrong about the whole drama queen thing. We've got one at work who recently dragged me into her "talking smack behind the back" deal. And i didn't even do anything. Just like you didn't even do anything. You need to do whats best for you. You need to find out if it's better for you to push them out of your life or find a way to deal with them. If they enjoy making confrontations, the thing that will get them the most is not letting it become a confrontation. They won't be able to stand that. But maybe saying something is the best way for you. Maybe you need to get this off your shoulders.

 

All in all, you don't need it! And you don't need to be believeing them. Your doing extremely well at your age being indendent and buying your own car. You know the truth.

 

Do whats best for you!