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He gave me his Passwords!

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I'm kinda new to online relationships, which is why I need some advice

Close to the end of last year I had joined an online community, I guess it was just out of plain curiosity (the community had nothing to do with finding a date or the love your life). So I opened my own blog on this community, my very first blog ever

Somehow, I stumbled onto the profile of a very handsome, intelligent guy.

I left a comment on one of his pictures and to my amazement, he sent me a personal message the next day.

We've been chatting for 7 months now.

The problem is that we live in different countries and he's had online realtionships before.

The thing is, I know for a fact that one of his online relationships ended only April of this year. And, by April he had already told me how much he loves me

I've been in contact with his ex cyber girlfriend and she's warned me to stay away from him. She says he's bad news and that I'm not the only girl he's chatting to.

I asked him about it. And to my shock he gave me his passwords to most of his main email accounts, like GMail and Yahoo.

He told me that I could use them freely at any time, isn't he just toooo sweeet ?

I've noticed that he has quite a few addresses of other girls in his accounts.

He says the sweetest things, it's as if he knows exactly what to say.

He's seems too good to be true...

I guess I'm just confused....

Could it be that he's 'ex' is just jealous that things didn't work out between them?

If someone gives you their passwords, does that mean they're serious about the realtionship they have with you?

Oh yes, I gave him mine in return. Though he didn't want it.

I know I shouldn't take an online relationship too seriuosly, at least not until we've met. But, I don't want to waste my time either.

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I've always found the maxim "if something seems too good to be true, it usually is" very useful.


Fact is, he could have any number of accounts that you don't know about, and he could have any number of online girlfriends - not to mention real life ones.


His handing out passwords, is only really an indicator that he wants you to trust him. Not that he is trustworthy.


If I were you I would proceed with caution with this guy. Don't get too involved and maybe change your passwords. Ultimately, you have a stranger with access to your online life.

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Yeah, I think you're right.

I always think that if a guy knows exactly what to say, it's usually because he's had enough practice at saying it to other girls too.


The Internet makes it so easy for people to lie.

I gave him my passwords because I wanted him to trust me too and it seemed the only just thing to do.

At first I had asked him to change his, but he refused. He said he had nothing to hide.

I really like the guy, I don't want him to feel insulted because I've changed my passwords.


Thank you, I really need to me more cautious. It's just all happening so fast.

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Hmmm, I think this is a matter of listen to your gut, and buyer beware.


I would not so much rely on the advice from his ex, as she may not be telling you with a great motive, but...that does not mean she is not honest either. Just a guess, but if she was dating HIM till about Aprilish and he was thereforeeee talking to YOU at this time, well, he was cheating on her with you...and my guess is if he can do that to her, he can do it to you too. And because you are online, he can probably get away with it much better.


I also have a problem with him saying "I love you" so early on, before you ever met in person, and after he just broke it off with someone else.


Honestly, I think there are a lot of red flags. Even if he gave you passwords, it does not mean there are other accounts, or mean he is being transparent. I don't think it automatically means he is being honest. My boyfriend and I are extremely serious, committed and faithful, but we have never felt a need to trade passwords, because we trust one another, AND respect one another's privacy (and that of our family & friends).


I don't know, it's up to you what you want to do, but I would definitely be keeping my eyes open, something just seems fishy based more on his past experiences, and the time frame for when he was dating his ex, you, etc that I don't like.

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She sent me a chat she had with one of the girls he supposedly chats with, but it's in another language. I tried translating it, it didn't work out too well...


And I saw a comment on one of her blogs that he made in February.

It wasn't anything intimate, but it had a kissy smiley next to it

That's why I'm wondering if I'm only over-reacting...

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Regardless of what the intentions are or not, I would never give out my passwords to some one I wasn't in a serious relationship with... like one in which we were at least living together. What other things do you use your passwords for? Do you use them in your banking accounts? Do you have any information in your email accounts that you wouldn't want a stranger to know?


It's a "sweet" gesture, but really isn't something that should be given to someone. What if things even go a little sour...he could go into all of your accounts and change your passwords and you wouldn't be able to get back in.


Sorry if i sound a little paranoid. But, in this day and age, you really need to look after yourself. If he wants to show you a sign that he is really into you, why hasn't he tried to meet you in seven months? Living in another coutnry is no excuse. If he can't get the money or motivation togetehr to visit you, then a relationship is even further away.

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No, I don't use those accounts (internet email accounts) for anything serious.

I only use it to correspond with acquintances and friends.


We've spoken about meeting, but nothing definite. We're both studying, so time-wise and financially it's still difficult.

He's given me his mobile number so that I can keep in contact with him.

I was waiting on him to bring up the topic about meeting eachother...

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Ok, well, that's all good then As long as you aren't puting yourself at risk, then planning on just taking things not too seriously will be good. in the meantime, see if there is someone who is geographically available that sparks your interest

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Seems to me that he is using the word "love" very lightly.

I would not trust someone who claims to love me if I had not yet met him in person.....and spent some real time with him. Guess my advice would be to take things slow with this guy

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Flyby, I would advise to be VERY careful with someone who has connived his way into getting your passwords.


Who is to say that the passwords you have to his accounts are his REAL accounts?


Read this carefully for your own safety!


Anyone can create a false account, and pretend to say nice things in there. The fact of the matter is that he has access to your friends, and relatives email addresses.


I come from Britain, and just recently on the news, a man from America was arrested as, he was `grooming`, little girls, and then used scare tactics to frighten them to do sexual acts on their webcams, and if they won`t comply to his demands them he would blackmail them by threatening to show the indecent images to their friend, and relatives.


You have to ask yourself, anyone can be anyone on the internet. You wouldn`t give out your password to someone on the street would you? Of course not! Same applies on the web too!


Also your email account holds a lot of information. I hope you haven`t update your address on there.


Not sure where this is going, but I read a similar story about hackers doing the same conniving trick.


Basically a hacker posts a message saying they can hack into anyones account. Just give A) The email account where you want hacked B) Your email address.


What they have basically asked for is your email address to hack into. You must not forget even your email address has a IP address, where, if anyone is computer literate enough, they can track you down,


How do you think the police arrested the man from the States, who was abusing girls in England. Its not just credit card details, but your IP address signature.


I hope in future you will think twice about doing such a thing again.


Be careful out there kid!

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  • 3 weeks later...

This is serious RED FLAG territory, I know you would like to believe he loves you - but remember words are easy - words are cheap! It's his actions that count.


Really you have to proceed with caution with this man. I really don't understand why anyone would give you their passwords to their accounts in order for you to trust them? It already means they have something to hide.


Stay very far away - or if you are intrigued at meeting this person. Do so, but proceed with extreme caution. I like to believe the best in people - but now I do what my friend told me a long time ago - its their actions that speak louder than words.


Sorry that I'm not the bearer of better advice as I know when you meet someone that seems really really dear and seems like they are the one. When they turn out to be the opposite - its soooo hard. I do find when things are too good to be true they are false.

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