Possibly the worst situation I've ever come across.

[Phoenix-09]

Hi there.

 

There is a girl that I know that I've basically just used. Last night we ended up fooling around, didn't go "all the way" (thank God), and now today I hate myself.

 

I made the fool's mistake of making promises I can't keep. I even said that I'd take her to the school ball when actually that would be so unbelievably awkward I'd rather shove my head in the sand.

 

This whole day I've been avoiding beating myself up, but it was such a bad mistake. The only thing I can decide for myself is that I must get up and decide what direction I'll go in from here. The first thing I realised was a new credo - never, EVER, go back there again. EVER. With ANYONE. Period.

 

The second thing that I realised was to improve myself. I feel like a horrible person now so that only makes sense.

 

But now to deal with her. If I ditch her and stop being friends with her or avoid her it'll go against the "promises" I made to her - but I can't take her to the ball. But I need to let her know that I think it was possibly the biggest mistake of my life and that I felt like dying today the guilt was so bad.

 

I know she'll probably take it the total wrong way so what is the best way to tackle this?

 

Yours regretfully,

 

~Phoenix

[sumguy]

Welcome to eNotalone =)

 

In the same situation, I would be totally honest with her about how I felt and what had happened. But if you think she'll take this badly, you could always just take her to the school dance thing, and let her see for herself how awkward it will be...

 

...unless, it turns out you have a good time... ^_^

[yeawutever]

I agree honesty is the best policy in this case, tell her you didn't really mean for things to end that way.

[Phoenix-09]

I think maybe I should introduce a slight complication to the story:

 

This isn't the first time I've fooled around with her and regretted it and let her down. I said that wouldn't happen again. But I was wrong. I mean seriously, is there a hormone that is emitted when we get aroused that makes us more ridiculously stupid than if we were drunk?

 

So now it's happened again, so there would be absolutely no trust between us. Talking to her will be awkward.

 

But I'm kind of adamant I don't want to be at the dance with her. I can't talk to her. I don't want people to get the wrong impression.

 

So what...let her hate me? Maybe it would be best if we didn't mix together, I seem to cause more harm than good.

 

~Phoenix

[sumguy]

I mean seriously, is there a hormone that is emitted when we get aroused that makes us more ridiculously stupid than if we were drunk?

 

Sometimes it seems like it, doesn't it? =P

 

Maybe not talking to her or having any contact with her for a while would be a good thing, but don't just leave her in the cold. Tell her first that you're sorry, you can't keep the promises, and it was an accident.

[WalkingWithGod]

You should definitely only be with her in public spaces so that you won't go down that path again. Also, you should definitely tell her the truth about what you are thinking. Try to be a man about it. It is hard but worth it. Real women only want to date men. Be a man. It sounds like you want to do the right thing so telling her the truth and making sure it doesn't happen again are the right things to do. Also, is she trying to seduce you or do you just have trouble controlling you sexuailty. If she is trying to seduce you then you are bound for an unhealthy relationship, because she relates to men as mainly animals to be used and tamed. If you are having trouble controlling your hormones then you need to get that under control now because it is only going to get harder later and it will effect every relationship you have with a girl and you will hurt every girl you have a relationship with until you get it under control. This response may be a little to general and over simplified but I think it will help you in your relationships.