Phoenix-09

I think maybe I should introduce a slight complication to the story: This isn't the first time I've fooled around with her and regretted it and let her down. I said that wouldn't happen again. But I was wrong. I mean seriously, is there a hormone that is emitted when we get aroused that makes us more ridiculously stupid than if we were drunk? So now it's happened again, so there would be absolutely no trust between us. Talking to her will be awkward. But I'm kind of adamant I don't want to be at the dance with her. I can't talk to her. I don't want people to get the wrong impression. So what...let her hate me? Maybe it would be best if we didn't mix together, I seem to cause more harm than good. ~Phoenix

Hi there. There is a girl that I know that I've basically just used. Last night we ended up fooling around, didn't go "all the way" (thank God), and now today I hate myself. I made the fool's mistake of making promises I can't keep. I even said that I'd take her to the school ball when actually that would be so unbelievably awkward I'd rather shove my head in the sand. This whole day I've been avoiding beating myself up, but it was such a bad mistake. The only thing I can decide for myself is that I must get up and decide what direction I'll go in from here. The first thing I realised was a new credo - never, EVER, go back there again. EVER. With ANYONE. Period. The second thing that I realised was to improve myself. I feel like a horrible person now so that only makes sense. But now to deal with her. If I ditch her and stop being friends with her or avoid her it'll go against the "promises" I made to her - but I can't take her to the ball. But I need to let her know that I think it was possibly the biggest mistake of my life and that I felt like dying today the guilt was so bad. I know she'll probably take it the total wrong way so what is the best way to tackle this? Yours regretfully, ~Phoenix