How much can you stand

[mlchildr]

I have been with my boyfriend on and off for six years. We have had ups and downs but I am to the point to just call it quits. I get no respect for him whatsoever. We were suppose to meet for dinner last night he called to say he was going to be 10 minutes late. I went ahead to the resturant to wait for him. An hour went by and he didn't show and I had been calling him constantly and he didn't answer his cell phone. Finally I left and drove to his house...He hadn't been there either. I was getting concerned b/c he wouldn't answer his phone. Finally an hour and half later I get a call form him saying he was leaving work when he called me and on the way his boss called him b/c he had a flat tire in the parking lot of where they work and needed his help. I understand that helping a friend out but I don not understand why he couldn't pick the phone up and call me instead of sitting in an resturant waiting an hour and then driving all over creation looking for him. He said his phone was in his car but still he could of called me as soon as his boss called him to let me know what was going on. He acted as if it was no big deal and didn't understand why I was upset with him. His boss thought it was funny and proceeded to tell me that I was a bi^&* for being upset with him.

 

I give him total respect and he has none for me......Just want some feedback on what others would do in this situation. I don't believe that he was changing tires b/c their stories kept changing. Who Knows......

[RayKay]

Just want some feedback on what others would do in this situation.

 

Based on the history of the relationship, the complete lack of respect, trust and the on-and-off history, I would make it "off" and make sure there were no more "ons".

 

Seriously, if it is that up and down and on and off, that is a big sign there that something is NOT working, and that maybe you are together out of a fear of moving on, or a dependency, rather than for the right reasons to be together.

[Beec]

It's very difficult to change a relationship, to change how someone sees you, especially if you are in constant contact. If you have each begun to see each other in a way that allows you to not treat each other appropriately, then you need to change it. But, as I said, that's hard.

 

Usually, people don't show respect to others, when they have not had to do so. If you let someone walk all over you, then they will do it again and again. If you let someone take you for granted, they will. Once they lack respect for you and/or take you for granted, changing that is really ahrd, because the only way to do that is to make their costs of being with you more dear, they are suddenly being required to put in more to the relationship than they have been. I would just end it, tell him bye, he does not treat you with enough respect and it's over. If he and you want to get abck together, you must, from here on out insist on being treated with respect, and if you are not, you just leave with nothing said. But that will be very tough.

[confused25]

U were def not being a b*tch! If I were you I'd be pissed too! He knew you'd be waiting for him and he should've called to let you know that he's going to be late. That's being inconsiderate. And he has no reason to get mad at you for that! He should be the one apologizing!

[DN]

If someone did that to me I would end the relationship.

[Bethany]

You should have been the first person on his mind when things went pear-shaped. Tell him that you were worried that something had happened to him and was left sitting like an idiot in some restaurant though his thoughtlessness.

He SHOULD apologise at that point and see your point of view, if he doesn't, dump him as you are the last thing on his mind and probably always will be.

[Momene]

There's lots of nice, young astronomers around you can date instead. Doesn't include me because I'm old and not nice.

 

More fish in the sea if you use the right bait.