mlchildr
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I have posted many times before and finally ended it with my significant other. We had been together for almost 7 years and in the past 6 months he started treating me horribly. Couldn't deal with so decided the best thing was to leave. Before that he never treated me this way couldn't understand his change in behavior towards me. He would make plans with me then screw me over, lie all the time, never call me back...say he was going to and never do it and act like no big deal. It got to the point where we hardly spent any time together. To me this was odd after being together 7 years and he had bought an engagement ring. We had other issues as you can see in my other posts about his dogs. He would tell me that he loved me but didn't know if he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. Well that is enough for me...so we have been apart for a couple of weeks now. I just don't understand the change in him and how he could tret me this way. I had not been taking his calls. He left me a message yesterday I called him back..he told me he would call me back and never did. I saw him out last night and he was going to a concert with firends and said i will call you when it's over..never called. I called him this morning and asked why you say you are going to call and never do....it makes no sense. Why do people act this way or treat people this way.
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Major update. I received an emial from his Mom very concerned about how he had been treating me and what had been going on. I guess she thought that him and I were going to get engaged since he had a ring designed for me. Him and i talked.....he was so rude.....told me that he treated me bad b/c i let him, that he disrespected me b/c i let him and walked all over me for the same reason. He told me that he didn't specifally design the ring for me...how come it was fitted to my ring finger perfectly and that he would give to any woman he wanted. That he was buying his time with me until he found someone else. That he wanted a woman who did not nag or complain (the only time i ever did that was whe i was being treated with disrespect and horible) a woman that he did not answer to and a woman that would let him do whatever he wanted. I can't believe after 7 years together and him buying a ring 4 months ago it comes to this. Also of course the dog situation as once again no one will ever come between him and his dog. I honsetly never thought someone could or would treat me this way. Come on girls can't you complain in a relationship if you are being treated that way but to him he doesn't want to be with me b/c i complian and nag but i wouldn't do it if i wasn't treated the way I was. Well I guess it is going to take some time for me to get over this. Please send advice...thanks
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Update...so i got my stuff that Friday. Unfortunetly he was there when i got there. I was hoping he wouldn't be home yet. We talked and basically he said his dogs are like his children and no one was going to tell him that they couldn't sleep in the bed and no one was going to disrespect his dogs. I realized these dogs mean more to him than me. No wonder he treats me the way he does. I left he called and proceeded to hang the phone up on me I tried to call back a few times but he wouldn't answer. I realized I don't deserve the way he has been treating me and he has major issues to be worked out.
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BellaDonna Thanks for the advice. Fortunely I have a house of my own also. I would stay with him usually during the week b/c it was so convienent to work and plus so we could see each other. My house is about 30 min from him so home sweet home I go.
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Update..so I just talked to him. He told me that snice I think the house is filfthy and that I said something about his dogs he is done. He said no one is going to tell him how to live his life and take care of his dogs. Apparently he see's no problem. He gets offended b/c i say stuff about his dogs and house and it hurts his feelings. Sad thing his friend a few months ago said horrible things to my face about me that really hurt my feelings and he did nothing about it. Didn't say anything to his friend or anything but if i say something about the dogs he's done with me. Dosen't make sense. One would think that a boyfriend would get mad when on of his friends says hurtful stuff to his girlfriend..apparently not. I know waht i need to do and plan on getting my stuff after work.
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Thanks for the replys....When we were apart is when he got the first dog. Then we got back together and that dog was like his baby. He was really strict with her. She would chew alot of stuff. I lost like 8 pairs of shoes. Potty training her was a task....needless to say the carpets got well used with that. I have always had my own place b/c i bought a house when we were apart. So I usually stay with him during the week but since most of the time I sleep in the spare bedroom i just quit staying there. To me it's pointless. Then we always argue b/c i sleep in the other room but i need a good nights sleep to get up and work allday. We both work and are extremly busy...I work as an tax accountant and he works for the federal gov. We both work long hours and i have always said that dogs are going to get negelected. When he got the second one i couldn't believe it...he didn't even consult with me. Things definetly will have to change or no more relationship.
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Not much anymore. I do love him but he disrespects me all the time. His mom sent me an email about the way he treats me. I don't know why he acts this to me. We broke up for a year about 2 years ago. I saw him with other women and he treated them like queens. I guess that should be an eye opening. He makes no sense. He bought an engagement ring for me but i told him i wouldn't accept unitl things changes. Seems as if things have gotten worse. I guess i have to realize he is never going to change. I guess i was hoping being together so long he would want to.
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He has said some rude things in the past. Lately all we do is argue. A lot of the arguing is about the dogs and the condition of the house. I feel disrespected that he would choose dogs to sleep in the bed with him rather than me..just doesn't make me feel to wanted. I felt disrespected when he bought home another boxer when we had agreed that i was going to get a small dog. I ended up not getting a dog b/c it would just be too much. Growing up he always had dogs.....his parents have 4 big dogs now and their house is the same way. I alwyas had small dogs growing up but the house was an span. We also fight about other things also. He has a tendency of screwing me over. He has always said that no woman will come between him and his dogs. I guess that is my answer. I just wanted som other peoples opinions. I love dogs but when it comes to sleeping with my boyfriend in the bed or dogs i would choose him...he can't understand that. He also says that it is too hard to not let them sleep in the bed b/c that is where they always sleep. That was one concern of mine when he got the other boxer...i said please do not allow him in the bed...i see how long that lasted.
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Just some replys to the post...thanks for the advice. The dogs are kept in cages all the time...That is the problem. Since I don't stay there anymore they are in a cage from about 5 in the morning to atleast 6 or 7 at night. Then just let outside when he gets home and back in. Since i have been dog sitting this week they have actually gotten walked and played with. I agree their should be a dog free zone especially the bedroom. That would be a life saver but I don't think that will happen.
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My boyfriend and i have been together for 6 years almost 7. He always had dogs growing up that were treated as part of the family. I also had dogs growing up that were treated the same way but they were small dogs. He has two huge boxers. He got one about 4 years ago who totally rules the house, sleeps in the bed . We had issues then b/c it is like another person in the bed. It seems like 3 people in a queen size bed. I could never sleep b/c there was no room and the dog would get up during the night and wake everyone up jumping up and down. It got to the point where i would just sleep in the guest bedroom. I wanted a small dog so I had decided to get a jack russell terrier. Before I know it my boyfriend comes home with another boxer...full grown male who is so hyper. So now add him to the bed and there is definetly no room for me. Also the dogs have torn the house up. The carpets are muddy and filthy from where they run inside and outside. They chew everything up including the kitchen floor. They run into the walls causing hole and scrathes. This house is only two years old and complety torn up now b/c of these dogs and he sees nothing wrong with it. I don't even stay there anymore. I had to dog sit this week and his house is even in worse shape. I said something to him and he told me to pack my {Mod Edit} and leave..he's coming home tonight. I don't know what to do. I can't live like that. I can't even sleep in the bed with him...so i stay at my place all the time. I asked him so when we decided to buy a house together will you let the dogs tear it up. He told me that i will never come before his dogs so i see where i stand. Any advice.
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Okay so my boyfriend and I have been together for 6 years. We broke up two years ago for a year and finally got back together after a year of total chaos. He would date other girls and then run back to me and then run back to them. I allowed him to do this but then I finally put a stop to it because it was hurting me soo much. We went a good six months with no contact and basically I had just moved on. He called me up near christmas ( at the time he had a girl living with him) and said she was moving out he was done and wanted to get back with me. The only thing was he wanted to get back together but was also seeing the ex that moved out. I found out about it and said no more. Finally we got back together everything was great for a year but this past year has been hell. We fight constantly about everything. He lies about the littlest stuff all the time. Last weekend the weekend before christmas we had plans to finish christmas shopping and spend some time togther. Then out of the blue he tells me he is going away for the weekend with his buddies. Yesterday his boss's girlfriend had a baby in which we are all good friends. We planned on going to the hospital to see them lasr night after we both got off work. He got off work before me and went to the hospital right then. DOes it eeven occur to him that he made plans with me to go together and couldn't wait an hour for me. He thinks it is no big deal but I would never do that. It seems as if he has no respect or consideration for me. He bought me an engagement ring but i told him that we needed to get our relationship right and stop the arguing before I would get engaged to him. I just don't know what to do anymore...I'm tired of trying with someone when it seems like there is alway s something...
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It seems like in my relationship it is always something. We used to never go a day without speaking to each other but lately we will go days b/c of arguments. The latest is that he has the friend who is a girl. He is 29 and she is 30 married with 2 kids. He met her through work. He says she is the sister that he never had. I finally met her and she is just not the type of person I would choose to hang out with. I'm not going to tell him who he can be friends with but I have observed some things for her that says she wants more than firends. Before i met her they had planned to have lunch....funny thing is the same day I asked him to lunch and he told me he had to help his buddy hang sheet rock. Then i hear him checking his messages and her voice saying what a nice time she had at lunch...I questioned him asking why he could take her to lunch but lie and tell me he had to hang sheet rock. Then I meet her and ask her about it. Her husband was around and she asked me if I could please not say anything to her husband about it b/c he didn't know either. If they are just frienda why are they hiding this. The first time I met her she made the comment that everyone in her office thinks my boyfriend is hot expect her and she didn't think that I was the type of girl he would date. She only calls him why she's at work...why can't she call him from home probably b/c she doesn't want her husband to know. I have a gut feeling there is something else going on. Over the weekend my boyfirend met her and her husband at the lake...i didn't go we had beed fighting...she said that i was petty and childish for not coming...WHATEVER and my boyfriend just goes along with her. At least stand up for me. She talks to my boyfriend about her sex life with her husband and all kinds of stuff. I finally said something to him about all of this. Needless to say we aren't speaking.. He thinks I am telling him who he can be friends with.....I don't know what to do.
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I have been with my boyfriend on and off for six years. We have had ups and downs but I am to the point to just call it quits. I get no respect for him whatsoever. We were suppose to meet for dinner last night he called to say he was going to be 10 minutes late. I went ahead to the resturant to wait for him. An hour went by and he didn't show and I had been calling him constantly and he didn't answer his cell phone. Finally I left and drove to his house...He hadn't been there either. I was getting concerned b/c he wouldn't answer his phone. Finally an hour and half later I get a call form him saying he was leaving work when he called me and on the way his boss called him b/c he had a flat tire in the parking lot of where they work and needed his help. I understand that helping a friend out but I don not understand why he couldn't pick the phone up and call me instead of sitting in an resturant waiting an hour and then driving all over creation looking for him. He said his phone was in his car but still he could of called me as soon as his boss called him to let me know what was going on. He acted as if it was no big deal and didn't understand why I was upset with him. His boss thought it was funny and proceeded to tell me that I was a bi^&* for being upset with him. I give him total respect and he has none for me......Just want some feedback on what others would do in this situation. I don't believe that he was changing tires b/c their stories kept changing. Who Knows......
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My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years. we were apart for a year and that got back together. We have always talked about getting married and having children. He loves children and really wants to have them. I want to have them but I want to get married first. We are both 28 so it's not like we don't have time. Last night he dropped a bomb on me and told me that he would not get engaged to me unless I got pregnant first. It just makes me feel like that he really doesn't love me but just wants a child from me. He has been married before but I haven't. I want to get married buy a house together travel a little and then start having children. It saddens me that he would give me a stipulation in order to get engaged. What happened to getting engaged because you love someone and want to spend the rest of your life together. Any thoughts would be helpful.
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Thanks for all of the responses. Just to answer some quick questions...Sometimes he acts grateful for things that i buy other times i think that he just expects it. It seems like evrytime we go out he whines and says he doesn't have the money to pay for it and i end paying but then when he wants something he always has the money to buy it. He was complaining about having no money for christmas so i said fine don't give me any gifts just quit whining all the time about having no money and the funny thing is he has money but he just doesn't like spending it on anyboby but himself.
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I have been with my with my boyfriend on and off for 5 years. We broke up after 4 years and were apart for a year and then got back together and have been together for a year. The only problem that is making it so hard for us to be together is that he never spends any money on me what so ever. If it is my b-day or christmas he will buy me a gift but besides that i have never received anything from here and this has been going on for 5 years. In 5 years i can recall him buying one outfit and that is it. To me it is not about buying me things but the fact that you take time and the thought about getting me something. I constantly buy him clothes, pay whenever we go out, buy groceries etc., etc....I have bought him a 4 wheeler and a boat. Everytime he ask for something he says I will pay you back and never ends up doing it. He makes about 40k a year and lives very comfortable. When he wants something for himself he has no problem buying but ever buying me anything doesn't exsist. I just feel like he doesn't care and we argue about it all the time. I know that when he dated other girls he would spend money on them...he even moved one in with him and she didn't have a job and he supported her. I own my own home and so does he......when he first bought his home i bought so much stuff for him...when i bought mine...nothing. I just want to be surprised sometime.
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We got back together but he still talks to his ex's
mlchildr posted a topic in Getting Back Together
So we got back together after being a part for a year. In that year he dated 3 women but every time the got into an argument he would run back to me or he would decide he didn't want to be with them and come back to me but then find someone else and do it all over again. The last relatioship he was in he said he wanted to get back together with me but then started dating this girl. She lived in another state so she quit her job and and sold her house and moved in with him. A little note we were together 2 years before we split due to arguing and we never even talked about living together. He is with this girl a month and moves her right in. Well they aren't getting along and he comes running back to me....breaks up with this girl and she moves out and leaves all of her stuff there. He ends up having to rent a U Haul and move it back to her. We start dating and the first argument we have i leave and he calls his ex's. I found their numbers in his phone and work phone...we fought about that. He says he deletes them. We took some time apart and said that we wouldn't date anyone else. I just recectly found out that the time we took apart he was talking to his ex and went and saw her. He swore up and down to me that he didn't see anyone while we were apart and I believed him until I found this out. Is he always going to have an ex on the back burner so he can run back to them like he did me. Any advice would be helpful. -
After almost a year apart my and ex and I got back together. We were together for 2 years before we split. I broke up with him becasue we argued all the time but I didn't think he would have a new girlfriend within the next day so this hit ne really hard. I am 27 and he is 28. We both dated others in the time that we were apart. He would always run back to me when things weren't going well in his other relationships. I work for my father so in the time that we broke up and i took it so hard I confided in my father. I think because of all the stuff I told him he really dislike this guy. Well we got back together and i really haven' told my parents. My dad made a comment when i was confiding in him that if i ever got back together with my ex he would fire me. Well yesterday the ex (my current boyfriend) called me at work. My dad went off and needless to say my life will be a living heii here at work because of this. My parents think they can tell me who i can and cannot be with. I'm just to the point of what do i do. This concerns my job, family and the person I love. They think i can do so much better than this person but i feel like let me make my own choices. My father has drove around looking for me and saw my car at the ex's...Monday morning when i came into work he let me have it. He has no right to do this and especially bring my personal business into the office. I feel like i am being treated more like a 16 year old instead of a 27 year old. Any advice would be appreciated.
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Well I got back together with my ex. In the time that we were apart I bought a townhouse. This townhouse has a home owners association. When i moved in i didn't have any pets so the rules for pets didn't concern me. My ex has a boxer that weighs about 70 lbs. Don't get me wrong I love dogs just don't have any yet becasue of work and all that stuff. My home owners doesn't allow pets over 25lbs to live in your unit. I didn't know this until my ex brought the dog over and didn't clean up after it and i got fined 50 bucks and was told the pet rules. This means that my ex ( current boyfriend) cannot stay at my place any. I have been staying with him but it is so exhausting running back and forth and I feel like I am never home and don't get to enjoy my place. I feel like what to I pay a mrtgage for I am never there. Well it has gotten to me and I aske him if there was some way he could stay at my place some. It just lead tp a huge fight and basically he told me he was not choosing his dog over me. I understand he needs to be home with the dog but he won't even stop by my house after work. He expects me to come to his house all the time. What happen to 50/50 in a realtionship. Am I making to big a deal out of this.....how should i handle this situation.
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This site was so helpful to me when i was going through my breakup a year ago. We broke up in February of 04 after being together for two years alot of stuff went on in the period that we were broken up he dated other and so did i. The only probelm was everytime he had a problem in one of his new relationships he came running back to me. Finally i had enough because he would come back stir up all these feelings i had for him and then run back to his new fling. I decided No Contact had to be done and i went for it. Finally in January of 05 i get a call from him wanting to get back together. The only catch was his new girlfriend was living with him at the time but he said he knew that he didn't want to be with her that he wanted to start things fresh with me. I told him she had to be gone before i would even consider. Well she left and we started dating ecah other again. I would find girls phone numbers all the time at his house, i woud find letters from girls and all kinds of stuff. I would confront him he would say no big deal and leave it like that. Recently i found out that he had been talking to two of his recent ex's. He was talking to them after we had a fight....like the way he used to run to me when he had fight s with them. To top it off some girl sent him a package in the mail which he lied to me and told me it was from a guy at work. He won't tell me what it was. He erased all the girls and ex's numbers from his phone but i found his work phone last night and all the ex's numbers were still in there. I am to the point where i can't trust him. What do i do. I wnated nothing more to get back with him and start fresh and have a relationship but with all this i don't know. Any advice would be appreciated.
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Okay...it has been 10 months since I broke up with my boyfriend. We were together for two years and the last six months we argued all the time. So i broke up him. Then I wanted him back but in the two days we had been apart he had practically moved another girl into his house. Well this showed me that he had something going on with her while we were still together. He would come back saying he wanted to get back together stay for a couple days and then run right bak to her. Finally 6 months after being with her he broke up with her. We got back together for a few weeks and then i find another girl at his house. I was done with it. He brakes up with this new girl after two months and starts calling me again. Within 2 days that he had broken up with his latest fling he calls to tell me that he has found the one and nevr felt like this about anyone. At this point i could care less because i felt like he just used me and that was it. He is now dating this girl ( the one he says)...funny thing he met this girl on his job he runs a route and she works in a bank. He called her the weekend he broke up with the other girl went and visited her that weekend...she lives in a differnt state and from the 2 days he visited her he is professing his undieing love for her. I don't want him back anymore but he calls me all the time now. He just called to wish me a happy thanksgiving and i don't understand why. When i wanted him back more than anything he didn't know that i exsisted. Now i want nothing to do with him and he calls. He has a new girlfriend and he says she is the one so why keep calling me.
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My ex and I were together for 2 years. Two days after we broke up he was with someone else. Not just dating her he practicaaly had her moved in to his house. I can only imagine something was going on before we broke up. He came back to me twice while being with her and finally 6 months of being with his rebound he broke up with her cam back to me for 2 weeks and then started dating someone else. He currently just broke up with her and of course statrted calling me again to only find someone else and tell me that now he has found the one. My mistake was letting him come back and not be stronger. I mean i loved him but he was just using me. It has know been 9 months since we split. I did NC for 2 months stright at the beginning but then would take his calls. Now i wouldn't talk to him for anything. His actions have made me want to have nothing to do with him. Rebounds usually don't last but who says they won't jump to someone else. My ex cannot be alone and will have anyone that comes along...so he will go from person to person. Take this time to do NC it will only help you in the long run.
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i have been in contact with him. It was always about 2 months and he would call. At first I called him all the time but didn't see the point anymore since he was with someone else. They broke up twice and he cam right back to me but always went back to her. He swears to me that there is nothing going on with girl but i don't believe it.
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We have been split up for 6 months. Two days after we broke up he was with someone else. My guess was he was with her before we broke up. So for 6 months i have been trying to move on with my life. At first i didn't know how i was going to go on but eventually things got eaiser. I never forgot about him but i was moving on and had accepted the fact he was with someone else. He came back to me twice but ran back to her during these past 6 months. We are both 26 years old and i thought this was the one i was going to spend the rest of my life with that is all we ever talked about. He calls me a month ago saying he isn't happy with the new girl and misses me and always thinks of me. He said he never got over me. Well we start seeing each other and he cheats on the other girl with me. He broke up with her two weeks ago and we started hanging out. Having ablast things were the best they have ever been between us. He said that he didn't want a realtionship now, he wanted to be single but knew that he wanted to be with me he wanted time and space. I told him i wasn't putting my emotions and feelings back into this only to get hurt again and he swore up and down that he knew he wanted to be with me. Long story short I went to his house on Wed night and there was another girl there. He said they were just hanging out and there was nothing there. Yea right. The day before that we had just bought a 4 wheeler together. Both our names are on it so i am responsible ifhe dosen't pay. I am so angry at this point I don'y know what to do. I can't understant why he keeps coming back to me but then treating me so badly. Please help. Also we had been together for 2 years before we broke up.
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It has been six months since I broke up with him. We were together for 2 years everything great a t first and then it started going down hill. We argued all the time. We needed some time apart but never took it. It was my b-day he acted like he didn't even care so i said i have had enough got some of his stuff from my house took it to him and said it is over. The next day i couldn't believe what i had did so i tried to talk to him but he wouldn't have anything to do with me. Needless to say 2 days after we broke up he was with someone. I knew it had to be a rebound because i think he is afraid to be alone. Well this just did it for me. It put me a depression and i lost 30lbs statred seeing a therapist and trying to work through this. I even changed my cell number so he could only reach me at work. In the first couple of months he would fight with the new girl and coming running to me. This happened twice and made me feel worse so i said no more and decided NO CONTACT. Well 6 months later he calls and wants the copy of his tax return that i prepared for him. I said i would mail it to him and he wanted to know why I changed my cell number. I told him it was a way for me to move on. I know i borke up with him but i expected just to take some time apart not for him to jump stright into a relationship. He asked if he could just stop by my house and pick up his tax return and i agreed. He stops by and he started telling me how unhappy he was. I told him that he was just using that girl as a rebound so he didn't have to be alone and that he shouldn't settle for anyone just because he didn't want to be alone. He said he still had feelings for me and missed me. That was 3 weeks ago. He broke up with the rebound and we have been hanging out. I am so scared that he is going to run back to her or find someone else. Right now he says he dosen't want a realationship he wants to be single. I know that he still talks to the rebound girl because she will call when i am around and he talks to her. I asked why and he said she owes him money and wants to make sure he gets it. Can anyone help what should i do. I feel as if i am in limbo and i hate feeling this way. I feel like i don't trust him and am always worried i am going to get a call that they are back together. I love this man and want this to work but if i feel this way i don't know if it can.