Boring...

[tbone22]

I have a hard time starting and keeping a conversation... it seems that I am boring and have nothing to really talk about. I am always asking other people questions but never have anything to say for myself. Plus I've started a new job and I get so anxious and feel like I can't breathe just thinking about coming to work meeting new people. What can I do to overcome this problem?

[2900]

I'm the same way. whoever i'm talking to i can ask them questions and stuff, but i cant really contribute to the conversation too much. i'm sure it's a mix of my nervousness cuz i'm afraid to sound stupid and probably self esteem issues. yeah, it sucks though. makes it hard to make friends cuz people think i'm boring. but i can crack a good joke or make a witty remark on occasion.

[tbone22]

I totally understand how yur feeling! I make friends but I feel so boring... its only when I drink that people love me and I make them laugh and have good times... I think I might join the gym or something try to build up my confidence and take out some stress.. I need someone to party it up with too... haha if only I was from CA

[Sally00]

I totally understand how yur feeling! I make friends but I feel so boring... its only when I drink that people love me and I make them laugh and have good times... I think I might join the gym or something try to build up my confidence and take out some stress.. I need someone to party it up with too... haha if only I was from CA

I feel like I'm boring too. It's like people have to ask me questions to get to know me... I can never volunteer information about myself by myself. Because then I would feel like I'm just boring the hell outta them. LOL! I usually don't approach people. They have to approach ME.

[laboheme]

Let's start a club or something. I can't hold a conversation without very detailed questions guiding me. Otherwise, if I'm feeling unusually "friendly," my comments are the most random and out-of-place things ever. Ha.

 

I've found that the best way (so far) to solve this problem is to seek (and retain, of course) information anywhere and everywhere. That way, if you know a little about a lot of things, you'll probably be able to contribute to a lot of conversations and keep on "topic hopping" until you get to something that both you and the other person are interested in.

 

Oh, and of course...can't underestimate the power of quotes. If you've got nothing to say, just fit in an appropriate quote by somebody else, either a friend or a famous person. Oscar Wilde works well for me.

[Aurian]

I'm so awkward too, with people who try to be friends. And forget about trying to chat up someone to be more than a friend. I'm awful at small talk, and it seems like not many people off-line share my interests.

[shadowcat]

pfff

 

im struggling with this situation right now as i type...im really sucking at a phone conversation with a girl, i feel like banging my head on the wall

[KillTheSilence]

u know, we really should start a club, cause all of a sudden i don't feel like i'm the only one with these problems.

 

I always thought if i did something cool like start a band that really rocks some1s head off then i'd have the chance to find something to say cause everyone who liked the band would probably feel the same way about everything as i do...

[atraceofblood]

we should have regular conversations in this thread. I think it could improve our communication methods with our crushes.

[Aurian]

Okay, first meeting of the shy and awkard at conversation club.

 

First issue, what shall we call ourselves?

[atraceofblood]

maybe we should get a chat room or something. Does anyone use paltalk, aim or yahoo messenger?

[KillTheSilence]

i would love to, but i don't have time for chatting online half the time.

 

we should call ourselves 'Bloodline of the Outdated Shy' cause being shy for us seems outdated or something

[atraceofblood]

haha

 

how should we do it? Should we create a question of the day type of things where each of us gets to ask a question, and we rotate each day who asks?

[shadowcat]

i dunno

 

"The Silent Talkers"

 

Lol

[atraceofblood]

alright let's pose a question:

 

What would you do if you were in school and the opposite sex came to you, smiled and said hi to you, and stood there waiting for a response? What would you say?

[KillTheSilence]

i'd ask watshappenin and if it was someone who was attractive i'd carry on with something like, 'of course nothing's goin on now--i meant watshappenin tonight?' she'd be like 'well nothing really...' and i'd be thinkin score number X and say 'wanna do somethin with me?'

 

if she rejected i'd be like 'man life gets boring with no one around' and walk off feeling good that i came up with the courage to do something like that. chances are she wouldn't reject (y else would she be there and why else would i ask if i knew it was for somethin else?), so i'd end up having to make arrangments for a night on the town or something like that.

 

comments or suggestions? that was what came out of me naturally, so god help me

[orangecounty]

You all seem to be doing just fine on here I'm like that with people I'm intimidated by or whom I think is "better" than me. Which is obviously isn't true. We starting telling ourselves subconsciously that what we have to say is not worthy and that we're not worth of their time, so you don't say anything at all. You honestly do have LOTS to say, you're just holding back without even knowing it. Don't worry so much about what others think, if they don't like you, so be it, you can change someone else. I know, so much easier said than done! But I've realized lately if I relax and I don't care about what the other person thinks, a really fun and cool side of my personality comes out. I think we ALL have that potential.

[Use name]

I'm like that with people I'm intimidated by or whom I think is "better" than me.

 

Me too. Everyone treated me pretty badly during school so I somehow think other people are better than me, or at least think they're better than me and will treat me accordingly. I also think other people know more than I do and are usually right. I don't think that I'm better than others btw.

 

(hey, I'm in Miami too)

[AnotherBrokenDoll]

I'm like that with people I'm intimidated by or whom I think is "better" than me.

 

i can't figure out how 2 quote lolz but yeah i agree with that statement to! I never used to have a problem but lately stick me and a guy together and not a word will be said from my mouth??? Whats going on? Its so stupid if theres a group of us i'm one of the most sociable... Just jinxed in love lolz.

 

Oh and i like the sound of a club thats kool!

[smashingfemme]

I wish I could give advice on how to fix this as I do the same thing, but I can only tell you what not to do because I do this all the time (now its a habit) and people tend not to like it... Don't be sarcastic just to have something to say... When I'm in a group I can never really add to the conversation I just make sarcastic comments when people are talking just to be able to say something... I do this to my boyfriend a lot luckily he knows I'm doing it to have something to say and he's sarcastic too so it works, but I don't think my co-workers or boyfriends friends are so understanding.

[atraceofblood]

so does anyone else have anything to say?

 

Here's some ideas I have about what I'd want to talk to about a girl if she'd be ok with it:

 

- what if you grew up and lived in a farm your whole life?

- What if you lived during the 1800s, what do you think your life would be like?

- Name 10 things you'd do with one million dollars other than buying super expensive items such as houses, cars, and expensive jewelry.

- What if school's didn't exist, what do you think life would be like?

 

these are just some things I was thinking about. The hard part is actually delivering it at the right time. I just don't know how I would talk to a girl and bring up random questions like these?

 

Well actually, I've found that if I am talking to a girl and I feel comfortable around her, as well as her around me, then I feel like I pop up a question like this if we have several minutes to hang out. I actually did this several months ago with a girl I really liked. It was the first time I felt really comfortable around her and I felt like I could really talk to her, and the conversations worked out nicely! But she was taken, so I had no chance with her. She was and is still a really nice girl, and I still keep in touch with her.

 

I wish there were more girls like these!

[Spugly Fuglet]

LOL OK I will

 

Tips on talking to others when you a slaker like me.

 

the rules.

 

1: Most humans like to talk, so if your a slacker like me and dont wont to work hard talking to them. Then being a good lisiner pays of garte. When I say Lsisiner I mean just that dont put you mind in cruse mode take in whats being said and every now and then add a coment or Q. That means rememberaring

 

a: Names

b: Key events

c: forgeting gossip and find out from them what they say is true

 

Some one once said we have 2 ears and 1 mouth so use you mouth 1/3 of the time in a conversation (good slaking that one).

 

 

2: Local and Globel news, for get it keeping up with the news is a wast of life and why when other do is for you so ask in conversation.

 

A: I dont know what this governments up to nower days

b: wars I hate them and there all over the place so im told

c: I dont know where our taxs go nowerdays

b: Education I just dont know whats going on any more

e: how can we deal with the polition we are making

f: Our food is it safe to eat

 

ETC

 

that lets others fill you in on whats going on.

 

3: Religan, god and the big Cahoner.

With religan start from a point of view you like and then just ask others what thay believe in.

 

a: Is there a god/gods

b: Where do we go when we die if any where

c: why has some mush death and distrution been done in the name of god/gods

d: Riliges exstremis whats that all about

 

4: The wather, Health and home

This is the one that cust throw most and is the best for thows long chats that you know you have to have but dont really wont to work hard on.

 

5: Sports

Dont need to say much here you know how it gos

a: Did you see the game last night etc

 

6: any other thing

with this one just roll with it, nod say "I see" and "Hunh" a lot and you should be find. Talking to Tecno-Geeks and others who love there subject but you have no idear what there talking about can full under this one.

Best just to look on in intarest and let them gush.

 

well being a life long slacker when it comes to Convos with others I find all the above helps no end.

 

I have found that I am also the human in the room who dos most of the talking some times which is odd knowing my slacker status but some times you just can not stop your self.

 

*looks up at post* see what I mean