contact with ex again but confused. help.

[vjg13]

I did one month of NC came back to my ex 20 lbs lighter and she was impressed. But I found out she's been seeing 2 guys now it's down to one because one of them wanted her to make an effort to contact him and she doesn't do that type of stuff. We had a relationship for 6 years. And in the beginning we talked once every 2-3 days because I always wanted to see if she would call mer but she hardly ever did. This new guy that she's seeing calls her multiple times a day and she loves it. I never did that because I didn't want to be a bug.

 

Well she has been seeing this guy for 2 months now. 2 weeks ago when I first went to see her we made out. A week later I seen her again and we made out but she says I can't expect that all the time I see her. I invited her to a club this past weekend I tried holding her hand but she didn't let me. She had a mark on her chest like a fading hickey she noticed me looking and said it was a bruise. I don't believe that but I can't say anything either. She seemed distant. But then when we left we left holding hands. I don't get what she wants or what I am even doing knowing she is in the middle of something else. I seen her last night and we just talked and gave me a kiss on the cheek when I left. No making out this time.

 

The guy she has been seeing is going to be gone for 2 months but she says he will come down some weekends to visit her. I feel this is a chance to make an impression on her. She has already noticed the changes in me and noticed that I am not jealous or angry like before and I know I can't be or she wouldn't have let me get this close.

 

I feel like I am getting in the way. She told me to watch the movie notebook and tell her what I think. I watched it and it's about a couple who meet up again years later and rekindle their flame. Is she trying to tell me maybe we'll meet up in the future? What about what's going on now. There is days where we can be like a couple and they are days where she wants to be friends. If she gets too serious with the new guy eventually she will probably say she can't see me at all anymore. I feel this is my chance, now that the guy is gone I can take her out to do stuff but this is also a chance to get more hurt if she doesn't come back.

 

Should I drop it ang get out of the way or should I like she said "we've been talking real good now and you never know what can happen" wait and see if being around her leads to something. If I didn't have feelings for her it would be so easy to be around her and not care and just be myself. But that's not the case and sometimes I feel I'm trying to hard to impress her. Need help so confused. I want someone to myself and I want that someone to be her but it doesn't look her new relationship is ending anytime soon.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

My advice is to run the other way. She plays too many games, wants men to run after her so that she doesn't have to do any work. She is seeing one guy and making out with you at the same time. You can do a lot better than her. How old are both of you? Are you both sexually active. If so, I would be very concerned about that because if she is going after several guys at once, who knows what you will catch from her. She is trouble and there are women who are much more worthy of your time. Don't concern yourself with impressing her, she is too self-absorbed to pay attention. Find a woman who will appreciate you and not feel the need to have several men at her beck and call.

[tylercdurden2004]

Do you really want to be in a relationship where YOU are doing all the work?

[mikeca]

stop chasing her, like tyler said your doing all the work right now, sit back she knows how you feel let her do some of the work (if she wants to) that way you can judge if its real or not.

[tylercdurden2004]

stop chasing her, like tyler said your doing all the work right now, sit back she knows how you feel let her do some of the work (if she wants to) that way you can judge if its real or not.

 

More importantly:

 

1) She wanted YOU to do all the work before.

 

2) She dumped one guy because she wanted HIM to do all the work.

 

3) She is datinga guy becasue HE does all the work.

 

4) She still wants YOU to do all the work.

 

You have to look at patterns in life and the pattern she shows here says it aint gonna change not now or ever.

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

Tell her to choose, say, it's me or him. Give her a real tight deadline, and tell her you want to be with her exclusively, but you refuse to wait around while she sees whatshisface.

[dreadhead]

She's stringing you along. It seems as though she only wants to get close to you when it suits her. Don't give in to her, if she is seeing someone else then shes being decietful to them by making out with you. Take some time to youself and limit your contact with her, she's not worth it.