Cant stay hard

[SW]

I am in a relationship with a new girl. I haven't had sex for about two years before I met her. My problem is; I can get it up no problem during forplay, but when it comes time to put the condom on and go for the plunge, I cant keep it up anymore.

 

I get really nervous when it comes time for intercourse. Now I am very nervous about our next encounter. I am afraid I wont be able to perform again.

 

Any advice please.

Thanks

[helpme2]

slow down, don't put so much pressure on yourself, let her know that you are nervous, she might be able to relax you.

 

practice with the condom when you are alone and not having sex, that way at least you won't have to worry about that part.

 

and from a woman's point of view, if you just can't make your penis work (which btw you have very limited control over) don't get mad, don't whine, just do something else with us and we will try again some other time.

[nottoogreen]

Happens to me too at least monthly - even without condoms. It started around age 30. I'd like to be like one of my dogs who can get on with it while fighting off a couple competitors at the same time.

 

It's all about being relaxed, at peace and confident. Thinking is bad, being upset with oneself is deadly.

 

As helpme said, practice. Also work on your wellbeing and physical fitness. It really helps as you mature.

[AwdreeHpburn]

Seems mental SW. You're going to need to figure out a way to overcome it mentally.

 

I say take the pressure off by just avoiding the situation for the next couple of meetings.

 

If things get hot and heavy, just pretend like you want to save it til it's a bit more perfect...it just doesn't feel right, you'd like it to be more romantic....whatever.

 

That way you'll get away from the pressure and score a few points with her too....

[Dako]

How did she react?

 

I'd see this as an opportunity to find out how she deals with disappointment, an insight into her character.

 

As far as little SW's stage fright, I agree you just need to ease into it.

If you have sex every night it's easier to control yourself, but when it's a rare ocurrance, it can be a challenge.

[Balbina]

I think you should just talk to her about it. Explain it to her. Some women really don't know why it happens and more often than not blame themselves...so while you're freaking out trying to get it up for her, and that stress further hinders you, she's thinking "It's me."

 

Talk to her about it openly. Ask her what she thinks. Tell her it's not her.

 

It's the same thing for girls...sometimes I just am not wet. It's nothing personal. Othertimes I'm ready for action right away but even when I'm super horny, I'm not always wet !

[Call of The Zombie]

Been there, had this happen. I was scared, upset and nervous.

 

We had the "what's wrong?" talk.

 

And then one day, everything was working out right and...

 

Don't rush it, when it's the right time, you'll know.

[Cardinal]

I used viagra until I was comfortable enough to know I wouldn't lose it. Didn't the first time though and man was that a disappointment.

[Xx7shadesRedxX]

sweetheart, that problem is about as common as fleas on a dog... don't sweat it. Here are a few tips that might help you out:

 

Breathe - According to a study by the Center for Marital and Sexual Studies in Los Angeles, most sexually active people have a tendency to hold their breath during sex, which kills arousal. Try taking slow, regular breaths which will help to build your excitement. The more you can control your breathing, that more satisfactory you will find the sex.

 

Diet - The best aphrodesiac is a diet low in lard. The lower your body fat, the higher your levels of testosterone and DHEA. Low blood-cholesterol levels can also reduce plaque build-up in the arteries which will allow for increasing circulation and blood flow to the genitals.

 

Condoms- Make putting them on a part of foreplay! Have your partner hold one very gently in her mouth, with the open facing out. Then, using her tongue, have her gently roll it down your penis. Make sure she covers her teeth with her lips to prevent a tear in the latex).

 

Most Importantly! Relax... What happened last time is not necessarily what is going to happen next time... Treat every new sexual experience for what it is - new!

 

Medication is not always the answer & it doesn't appear to be something you need. Your routine has been interrupted by two years of sexual inactivity. Give yourself time, mentally and physically, to get back into the swing of things. It may help if you masturbate regularly as that will increase sexual hormones in both men and women which will contribute a great deal to your performance... You need to explain this to your partner and communicate your worries... She can have a great deal to do with easing your pressure by understanding and being open to new sexual techniques... Good luck & I hope everything works out for you!