My life/Poem

[blackend heart]

i will try my best, but as we all know there is sometimes friction between the family especially if you are the youngest. i have been helping her as much as humanly possible, and it seems that everytime i talk to her she seems a lil happier, the thing we did the other day is still fresh in both our minds and __x wants to try it all again, every now and then there will be a slight knock back but a phone call can usually solve this. thanks for all your help and i am interested about doing some personal grown exercises when she comes over.

[nottoogreen]

No prob. All takes time.

 

I'll be ready with PG by then. Busy with family, work, here, research...

[blackend heart]

we totally understand, we dont want to steal you away from your family, and as we are both learning (__x and i) family is very important.

[lilac_indi]

ive been following this thread and i find it really inspiring and sweet the way you two have been there for each other through these hard times. i wish you two luck for the future. bless!

[blackend heart]

thankyou lilac indi, i hope that we have a pleasant future too, we are continueing to have some bad times and there is a problem with __X and SH atm i will try to get her on to sort this problem with you, but at the moment her internet access has been restricted. But she is coming over mine on Friday so i will get her on to talk to you all, we have had a few emotional phone calls. the last time she SH she was blaming herself for things that have happened to other people, she explained to me how she used to help her friends, but with her own problems on top of those she couldnt help anymore and she held herself responsible, i told her she did all she could and that at 13 she could not have been expected to help people with the problems she was trying to solve by herself, she was crying down the phone to me, and all i could do was use a calm voice and try to talk her down, occasionally doing something stupid to try and make her giggle, eventually she was back to her bubbly self but not before she had scratched her wrists with a pair of sicorss (im not good at spelling) if anyone could give me advice oh how to deal with this in the future. im really worried that one time soon i might not be able to make her feel better, please i couldnt take loosing her, i really love her, and loosing her so soon would rip me in two.

[nottoogreen]

She SH again? Why her internet access restricted? When she can get on?

 

Read this to her. Get her to start on Mental survival activities.

 

Most important to remember and perform.

This is the most important part of this guide. Please take it seriously as your success largely depends on it.

• You are precious, your life is precious and you deserve to be happy!
  
• Look after your body and love yourself!
  
• When someone hurt or abused you it was not your fault!
  
• You have a future, you always will as long as you do not give up!
  
• You deserve to be understood, but to expect understanding is very foolish.
  
• Regrets are the most difficult feelings to deal with.
  
• Life often is like three steps forward and one step back. Expect setbacks and do not let setbacks bother you. Just move along your chosen path.
  
• Realistic expectations. Carefully consider your expectations as unrealistic expectations breed resentment and set you up for failure.
  
• Be realistic about your ability and carefully consider your ability as your failure to meet your expectations hurts you and may hurt others.
  
• Patience and persistence. Changing any situation or yourself takes time and effort. Changing your feelings takes time and is often painful. It does make sense to endure reasonable pain for a better happier future.
  
• Adaptability of your mind. Your biggest strength is that your mind adapts to what you do often and the more so, the more motivated you are. As you move up, your mental ability increases. This strength is also your biggest weakness as your mental ability decreases when you are frustrated or unmotivated. Your mind also adapts to negative thinking. Thus it is important to think positive!
  
• Break circles of thought. If you realize that you think or fear the same again and again, break out of it by telling yourself: STOP, NO WORRIES. Divert your thoughts away from a circle of thought. The Mental survival activities or Exercise activities below may be of help to distract you.
  
• Mental survival activities. Develop one or more mental activities which can occupy your mind and give you a sense of calmness and accomplishment. One activity should be as simple as possible in order to be performable at any time. Exercise these activities regularly. Examples are: writing poems, writing down feelings, drawing and reading. Use the Exercise activities below as alternative and for backup. Be prepared and never run out of supplies to perform these activities. These activities train you on focusing your mind and give you a sense of accomplishment.
  
• Exercise activities. Develop an interest in one or more physical activities and perform these regularly. Examples are push-ups, sit-ups, running, swimming and biking. At least have one activity you can perform in your room and one out-door activity. Exercise is healthy and gives you a sense of accomplishment.
  
• Be sure you have enough sleep. Sleep deprivation makes manic and leads to countless secondary problems from anxiety, over-acting, over-excitement, over-thinking to under-performing. If you can't sleep, perform Mental survival activities and/or Exercise activities until you relax enough to fall asleep. Given training and experience, you will relax and fall asleep! No pills needed!
  
• KISS - Keep It Simple Stupid. Do not over-act, over-excite or over-think.
  
• Help - If you have questions or need help, please post or seek professional help!
  

[blackend heart]

i read everything that you said down the phone to her, but i dont think that she took it all in, and im going to get her to look at it again on friday,

 

we were on the phone again and we were talking, we had a mini argument and i felt so guilty about it that i did something i really shouldnt have, i have no idea why i did it but when i did it make me feel better, but i dont understand, how can doing something that hurts make you feel better?? i know that i used to do it before and even then i didnt understand. After telling __X what i did i guess she felt the same thing that i feel whenever she does it. and i think she felt that it was her fault, im supposed to love her but im making things worse i shouldnt have done what i did. how can i rectify this blunder of epic preportions, well i had an idea and got her to do some mental survival activites, she then went on to straiten her cousins hair,

 

oh and in answer to the questions you asked, her internet access has been restricted because ehr brother has been blaming popups and things on her, and her computer broke as well. also she will be on, on friday, thats when she is coming over to mine.

 

oh and on a positive note we have done some more things that we can reflect on, like before (you know what im talking about(not in a dodgey way)) btw we were together today and it was amazing to see her again after a weeks absense, we had a lot of fun, wish i could tell you more but i need both her permission and i dont want this reply to be deleted

[Fallout]

Hi, just read this and what a great thread! Now for my "2 cents" : NDG I really think you should talk ur parents into having __X move in your home on a permanent basis, tell them you will contribute from your salaries/EMA because I don't think she can heal properly while still being abused in her home. Gl to you two, keep us posted

[nottoogreen]

Some people are not confident and overthink (make elephants out of mice) and feel "hopeless".

 

In "hopeless" situations some people redirect their anger, anguish and inner pain against themselves.

 

Important is to balance the response to the cause. A broken computer and annoyed brother are quite minor? I do understand you though. We work on it.

 

Both of you please hammer post #156 into your heads. Develop mental survival activities and excercise activities and use these instead of SH. Train yourself everyday!

 

NDG, you handle it quite well, your calmness talking to her is

 

__X you are still too hot. Please think about the love of both of you and your good future.

 

__X, I understand your feelings and please be patient and train yourself to be positive and strong. I am worried about you because IMHO also if you would stay with NDG, you would get way too angry. I am honest with you, the past is the past but now you are your biggest enemy. Your response is natural, but needs change, so let's work on it.

[ButterflyWrists]

huh? I am still too hot???

 

Erm yeah, I'm at NDG's atm, for a little while. I have been getting NDG to tell me what has been going on.

 

Well for a week I've stopped SH which I'm really happy about. I've done some of the things recomended as in writting my feelings, exersize and writting poems Oki I'm annoying NDG but yeah, lol.

 

Oh another thing I've done is totally forgotten the past. There is nothing bad there. I have deleted it from my memory. I'm much more posetive. As before I wanted to become a phycologist, I didn't wanna do it via uni as I didn't feel confident enough cause of the way I was treated in school. But now from help here with my mental growth and confidance boost's from NDG I do feel confident enough to do it the way I'd origonally wanted

 

Ok about the SH, I didn't want to do it to hurt people, I needed an escape rute I know I chose a very foolish one. But I couldn't use the internet so I was feeling really low and couldn't really reveal my feelings But now it is all getting on track thank god

[nottoogreen]

Hi the two of you!

 

Great you do better X, I am proud of you that you want to go to uni and of you too NDG for supporting her!

 

Once you go to uni, a new world will open to you!

 

I understand your feelings, I regret your pain and wish you do not stab me into the back again with SH!

 

The future of both of you is more and more in your own hands, please be wise and responsible.

 

Also please keep us posted!

[ButterflyWrists]

I sowwie i 'stabbed u in the back' cause of my sh

 

it just that i was feeling really low and i couldn't get to see NDG nor get onto Enotalone. The phone calls helped, but it wasn't the same.

[nottoogreen]

I'm tough, I not die, but please remember, it hurts me too!

[ButterflyWrists]

I'll remember in future not tht it'll happen again

[lilac_indi]

hey X,

 

i read from one of your posts that you want to be a psychologist. i am on the verge of getting my degree in it. if you do decide to pursue a career in it i am at your service. dont let your experiences in school get you down. you can do it at university if you believe in yourself.

 

i am glad you havent SH again. keep it up gal and you will do great.

[blackend heart]

Please please help, __X os feeling really suicidal again and i dont know what to do, and she wont tell me whats up im really scared please if anyone can help, please... i couldnt loose her not now, not so early

[nottoogreen]

NDG,

 

Has there been any progress on counseling?

 

You talk to her every day. She does not have regular internet access.

 

I suggested many times you make a journal. Update every day, we will follow up.

[ButterflyWrists]

yeah, I've been a very silly girl I've SH'd not my normal way, and it is all my own fault, no one's else's! well this morning was my Ex's fault, and now my cousin knows some of whats happened. . . I'll update soon. . .

[ButterflyWrists]

My Ex wrote all that, on another forum.

 

Also one thing he left out was he tryed to kill me 7 times

 

I could kill him for this! the .