ButterflyWrists Posted July 26, 2006 Author Share Posted July 26, 2006 ok, well, i didnt attually go totally in depth, as tht would be a whole life story, lol. but what ever you want to know you may ask, as i've got out the worst, and right now i attually am feeling rather suicidal, but it'll pass! Link to comment
blackend heart Posted July 26, 2006 Share Posted July 26, 2006 sweetie i am always here for you if ever you need to talk, or even to shout just please dont hesitate to call me, or if you are unable to call me i will try to call you. im here for you and i dont want to see you getting hurt. i love you andn i always will xxxx Link to comment
ButterflyWrists Posted July 26, 2006 Author Share Posted July 26, 2006 i know, and the suicidal feeling will pass, it is passing as i feel more let out, and i feel i can cope better, especially as i have ur support! i wouldnt be able to do this without someone whome i know's support! and u give the best! Link to comment
Spugly Fuglet Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 Now up to the current time. Well things have only just really came out into the open, and I'm glad things are out finally, but I still feel very insicure. And suicidal. Since my mum got with nick is the times other than one that I attempted suicide. All 'flawless' ways. 5 attempts were hanging, I always ended up getting myself out. 3 OD's, 4 sofocation. 2 infront of vercals. Well you can ask any questions you want. Well ___X as some one from the UK I know some of the places you have talked about but never been sorry, as for summerset Cyder very nice. There is a lot in there which I think needs to be tested out into there sepiret parts. On I can look at start away that your fear of Fire and Mushrooms, its the lest I know but its some thing I can help with, The way to counter thows kinds of fears is Decentizing, which in a nut shell mean going, being or doing the thing that gives you fear in small bits, each time doing more with the object of your fear. As you biuld up and bank of memarys that counter the older frearfull ones your fear should fade and end. with the other points My I ask a spasific Q about the salfharm, do you think the attempted suicicdes are and escation of that selfharm?. I have to ask becouse its not always the case. Link to comment
ButterflyWrists Posted July 27, 2006 Author Share Posted July 27, 2006 My I ask a spasific Q about the salfharm, do you think the attempted suicicdes are and escation of that selfharm?. I have to ask becouse its not always the case. Well I don't know what escation means, but the SH came after suicide attempts. Link to comment
nottoogreen Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 X, I like to start with your mom, because she was around before you and picked all those abusive loser types. Here is a document which may help you to understand peoples behaviour: Relationship wreckers See which points does your mom's boyfriends match. You will see lots of abuse and neglect. All that hurt your mom and you most of course and your brother. I think it is possible that your mom may have a long history of abuse herself (before meeting your dad) because she always choses the same abuser-loser type. All of this is not your fault of course and there is nothing you could do about it. Link to comment
nottoogreen Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 Well I don't know what escation means, but the SH came after suicide attempts. Escalation is SH > SI > suicide attempt. Link to comment
ButterflyWrists Posted July 27, 2006 Author Share Posted July 27, 2006 oh. . . then no. I'm not sure about my mum being abused before her 1st husbond. But she does choose the abusive types yea. Probably why I stayed so long with my Ex. . . And my is trying to guilt trip me, yesterday he rang me saying he'd OD'd himself, but he lied, he was trying to get sympathy from me. The pathetic little git Link to comment
nottoogreen Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 X, Next your ex boyfriend, he is similar to your mom's boyfriends, maybe worse. Here is: link removed What's happening is that you "inherited" this from your mom who may have inherited it from her family. It's like that, it started as early as in your mom's childhood and got worse. More to come... Link to comment
ButterflyWrists Posted July 27, 2006 Author Share Posted July 27, 2006 wel as far as i know my mums childhood was fine as far as i know. and yeah it is probably why i went to jon (my Ex) Link to comment
nottoogreen Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 You are a good and kind person and your mom too. Both your mom and you lacked love and care in childhood need love toooo much and choose men too quickly. What cures you may well cure your mom... More to come... Link to comment
nottoogreen Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 You can talk to your mom about her childhood - watch her closely when you do. Important is that you see your situation as an act of fate rather than your fault. You are a survivor, By age 16, you survived more than 10 average people in 50 years each. In a way, your life is strong, your will to live is strong. Now you have to make your life happy... Link to comment
nottoogreen Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 And about your mom, it does not have to be her childhood, it could have been your dad who broke her. But it does not really matter to you except that your mom needs help. It matters that you learn to love yourself and your life and your future. It matters that you stop all SH and study and work for your future. Please fill your mind with positive expectations about a better life which is what you deserve. I suggest you read and follow this first 142714&highlight=I+did+some+personal+growth+exercises] I did some personal growth exercises[/url] There will be good days and bad days but there will be more good days as long as you focus on positive expectations and improve your ability to meet these positive expectations. In two years you can legally move out, prepare for it, fight for it! We always will be here for you. Link to comment
ButterflyWrists Posted July 27, 2006 Author Share Posted July 27, 2006 also one last bit on the past before i work with myself to get better: My Ex wrote all that, on another forum. Also one thing he left out was he tryed to kill me 7 times Link to comment
ButterflyWrists Posted July 27, 2006 Author Share Posted July 27, 2006 also legall I can already move out. but i need to live at home so i can get ema (Education Maintinance Alowance) Link to comment
nottoogreen Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 First I was all confused about YOU raping a girlfriend. Better edit and quote it. You can use quote ..text.. /quote in square brackets... He needs therapy too, you do not want him to run around raping and cutting. Do not make a mistake by being too kind. He will do it again and again.[/color][/b] Link to comment
ButterflyWrists Posted July 27, 2006 Author Share Posted July 27, 2006 im no good at doing Quotes Link to comment
blackend heart Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 i am trying to keep jon (the EX) away but it seems that however much i try the git always seems to find a way to contact her, i dont know what to do, in fact the task has seemed near impossible so i have given up and i feel so bad about doing it. please someone give me some advice as to what i should do __x i know you still contact jon and i know that you didnt want me to know but you have to understand i knew before he told me, you went to him because he was the only person that knew everything, the only person that could possibly understand, but now you have me, im here for you, you have told me everything even if it was indirectly. and you must know that im always here for you, and i will never judge you with your actions, i love you... one final thing before i end this reply, does anyone else think im right in trying to stop __x from contacting her Ex especially as it is him that has made most of this worse for her, its just i dont want to be the kind of BF that tells her what she can and cant do, who che can and cant see, i dont want that, because that isnt a relationship that is a dictatorship and not how things should work. Link to comment
nottoogreen Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 i am trying to keep jon (the EX) away but it seems that however much i try the git always seems to find a way to contact her, i dont know what to do, in fact the task has seemed near impossible so i have given up and i feel so bad about doing it. please someone give me some advice as to what i should do He still tries, X does not need that guy in particular at this time. X, If you are nice, make a deal with him to enter into therapy and under voluntary supervision and never to contact you again. I want to spare you a trial, but if he goes on like that file charges. NDG please help her research and find rape counsellors. IF you need help, PM me. Link to comment
ButterflyWrists Posted July 27, 2006 Author Share Posted July 27, 2006 im not going to talk to him again Link to comment
blackend heart Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 no offence __x and please dont be angry at me but you said that last time, and the time before that. i really want to help you but it seems that i am a failure, i really wanna help but i dunno, im asking for help to get help, but will you take their advice?? Link to comment
nottoogreen Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 NDG, you are NOT a failure, you are a lovely guy. Both of you please take it easy. I research UK facilities and sleep on it. Spugly being in UK may have some ideas too. Link to comment
ButterflyWrists Posted July 27, 2006 Author Share Posted July 27, 2006 NDG u aint no failire, u've made me happier than i have been in 4 years! Link to comment
nottoogreen Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 __x i know you still contact jon and i know that you didnt want me to know but you have to understand i knew before he told me, you went to him because he was the only person that knew everything, the only person that could possibly understand, but now you have me, ... That's why abusers have so much power ovwr their victims. and X, you have the eNotAlone community too. Please do not contact him again. one final thing before i end this reply, does anyone else think im right in trying to stop __x from contacting her Ex especially as it is him that has made most of this worse for her, its just i dont want to be the kind of BF that tells her what she can and cant do, who che can and cant see, i dont want that, because that isnt a relationship that is a dictatorship and not how things should work. You are right, you can not control her. You are also right that he may have more power over her than you. The only way to break his spell over her is by making her understand about abusers: link removed and link removed. Link to comment
ButterflyWrists Posted July 27, 2006 Author Share Posted July 27, 2006 Thanx for the help i've read the links, and yeah. . . but how do i stop wanting to tlk to him? and how do i rid myself of him? Link to comment
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