My life/Poem

[nottoogreen]

X,

 

It can get only better as long as you do not let anyone hurt you. Most importantly if you ex contacts you, kick him away. If he threatens you call the police. He is a coward abuser, do not fear him.

 

About personality development, could you like martial arts - what about take up a course? It gives you strength, skill and control.

Learn and work for your future and always remember your special day together and strive to be together again, all the time.

 

I read favorite quotes in Wicked often, X, yours is right at the top. Smart choice of screen name.

 

Positive philosophy makes a big difference.

 

 

[ButterflyWrists]

hehe, i did akido, sorry i cant spell, and i loved it, unfortunately there is none around where i live but i can still remember the moves.

 

also i just found out something, the gurl jon left me for, dumped him 2 days ago, so i am really happy,

 

and thanx.

 

And no im not going to talk to my Ex, he dont deserve no one, and it just shows me and NDG are 'made' for eachother mind you i am good at keeping long term relationships, well i say good, longest was 1yr10mnths

[ButterflyWrists]

ok, confused, where the bit bout 'Best ever Sex' gone?

[ButterflyWrists]

gah, i dont like teh mods nor anything now

[nottoogreen]

avman (Admin) stepped in. He said I should not have posted it because it a) was not mine and b) interfers with the mods job. He is right, if was my fault, sorry.

 

You can PM a draft to "DN" now.

 

Go for it OK?

[ButterflyWrists]

i've got it in a pm now, it jus sux tht they keep removin it

[ButterflyWrists]

okay, choice of 3 things:

Commiting suicide;

movin out;

living in this hell hole.

 

Ok my mum has been a * * * * *, she had ago at me for nowt.

Well I told her to get lost and leave me alone.

So now again suicide is on my mind again, this time worse than before.

Now I have no idea what to do.

Moving out would mean living on the streets

Staying here would mean commiting suicide.

Commiting suicide would mean hurting NDG

i cant win eaither way

[blackend heart]

hunni if things are really that bad i will ask my parents if you can move in with us, or we could rent a room out of one of my dads mates flats, i really want you to be safe and happy but please try to remember what we did yesterday please

[nottoogreen]

You can win. Be strong and win in this hell hole. Be cool and focused. You had a good time yesterday, remember it always. Love NDG as much as he loves you. Care each other. Work on a future.

 

Do not fight with mom, she needs love too. Arrange yourself with her.

[blackend heart]

I feel so pointless at the moment, it seems that everything i do for __X is always counter acted by yet more bad feelings, i want to keep her safe but the reality is that i am a failure, i want to be able to move out into a flat or house so that we can move in to get away from the memories but with out a job or any kind of savings its impossible. i feel pathetic and worhtless i mean i cant even provide accomidation or real help. And whilst talking to __X on MSN she told me again that she wanted to die, and the only thing i could do was beg her not to do it, all i could say was please dont go, it just seems that allthough she says i am helping im really not, she still holds the feeling that has driven her to what has previosly said on this forum. what am i to do, without her i feel my life would be pointless, i feel as if we were somehow united by fate and that i am here to help her but i am failing in my duty, i promised to make her happy and to keep her safe and i cant even do that

[nottoogreen]

NDG, You failed nothing. Her past abuse failed her and will do so for some time. I told both of you already that there will be setbacks.

 

Yesterday was high, today is low. It's common, it's normal - abused.

 

NDG, I also told you keep half your power for yourself. I hope you see why and follow my advice.

 

Abuse victims react badly to upsets. Her mom let her stay with you, but she forgot that already and got so mad today with mom over a small thing.

 

Suicide threats are a good attention getter too.

 

X, I anticipate your outbursts, no problem, never mind, please learn to control yourself.

 

Both remember, all you can be is healthy loving partners to each other. X .

 

... NDG does really hurt

[blackend heart]

but that is where the problem lies, i have been putting myself into helping __X so much that i have now forgotten what my problems were to begin with and i am now attatched to __X's problems as if they were my own

[nottoogreen]

Both of you today have relatively small problems which are managable. You can't have all at once.

 

NDG, change is cure.

 

X, change is cure.

 

Sorry, no kidding!

 

Patience and persistence.

 

Reading the thread again may be a good idea.

[ButterflyWrists]

i know i was being stupid, i didnt mean to hurt NDG, it's just i felt really bad yday. NDG you do help me alot, without you i might not even be here. sorry again. and thanx for the advise. todays a better day

[nottoogreen]

Hi X,

 

Great today is a better day.

 

About your mom, please try to understand that her life is not easy. Nick gives her a hard time. Please don't make it harder for her, it just will bite you.

 

When you last time did hold her? How about when the two of you are alone in the house, hold her and tell her you love and care about her. She will be so happy. Both of you together can make hell a little kinder.

 

Your life is better, just a little I know, but please do not break it and please do not make it so hard for NDG and learn to control your negative feelings.

 

Think a bit about your mom, how to make it easier for both of you.

[ButterflyWrists]

me nd my mum get alone, exept when she has ago at me for no reason. she's a * * * * * most the time

[nottoogreen]

me nd my mum get alone, exept when she has ago at me for no reason. she's a * * * * * most the time

X,

 

Your mom is not that bad, she let you spent the night with NDG.

 

Your moms life is hard too, honestly, I do not know how she survives that.

 

Think about your future, you getting better involves positive thinking. Be more happy with your mom, make her happy, a little, stop fighting with her. You will be rewarded.

[Afraid]

Hi! I have a problem! I am terrified of the dark, and I hate being on my own when out and about! Every time I am on my own, i think that I am being followed, which totally creeps me out! What can I do?

[nottoogreen]

Hi! I have a problem! I am terrified of the dark, and I hate being on my own when out and about! Every time I am on my own, i think that I am being followed, which totally creeps me out! What can I do?

Hi Afraid,

 

Welcome to eNotAlone.

 

Fears are often related to past abuse, neglect or other trauma like accidents. Or it can be related to watching too many horror movies or playing traumatic games.

 

You have to think about when it started and why.

 

You could research phobias with google.

 

You also could start a thread in the Emotions and Feelings forum and we talk about it there.

[blackend heart]

Hi! I have a problem! I am terrified of the dark, and I hate being on my own when out and about! Every time I am on my own, i think that I am being followed, which totally creeps me out! What can I do?

shouldnt that be in a thread of your own not in someone elses

[Spugly Fuglet]

Sorry to ask as NSG has been a star on this one but how's it going?

[blackend heart]

yeah its been going well, there have been a couple of set backs, regarding a bit of trouble on another forum site with __X's Ex but apart from that its been good, at the moment she is with her cousin, im missing her loads but i am ringing her everyday, much to the horror of my parents, at least they dont know that it costs £6.50 for each call (an hour from home phone to mobile)

[nottoogreen]

Hi NDG,

 

good to hear from you again and that __X is well. Watch the ex, I still think he ought to be put out of business as he will hurt more women. If you need help, please let us know. Also consider whether the record of that site may be proof in an police investigation of the ex. I will look if it is possible to file web reports in the UK and post back ASAP.

 

I am sure that you realize that your parents concerns are most valid.

 

About the phone bill, calling is good therapy for __X, but it is not small change, be a smart man. Work harder in the house, support your parents more and talk to them before the bill arrives.

[blackend heart]

we have been doing voice calls over msn too, i have been trying to talk to her as much as possible whilst she has been away and once se is back she said that i might b able to come ever hers, then the week after that she is staying over for a week my parents shouldnt mind as they are out for the most part

[nottoogreen]

Good, you both seem on a heading for the better. Let's not take it easy and please look after your parents and encourage her to look after her mom. Her mom needs some love too and it is really in the interest of the two of you.

 

Patience and persistence.