Do Girls Like Shy Guys?

[scatcatfhsu]

I'm what you would call really social but I have noticed that I'm not really having all that much luck with girls here lately. I have also noticed something else strange...

 

Like, where I work and go to school. There is this one guy (that I know from both) and he isn't really all that social or talkative and is pretty shy (doesn't really go to any get-togethers at our company -- it's a large organization and just basically goes to class at school). And I'm not trying to take away from him because he's a great guy and all, but I've noticed that like when a new girl starts at work (or all of the women that are already there) they seem to be much more talkative about his value and things. And there have been times that I thought he has treated new girls or women just downright rude (because they'll like pass and say "hello" to which he'll really only respond "hey"). Am I right by thinking that maybe women like this guy because he leaves something that sort of seems "mysterious"? I know that one of my best friends, a girl, had said at one time that she would rather have a "quiet" guy. So could this also just boil down to the fact that maybe all of these women are just in the "settling" down phase and know this guy wouldn't really be an obstacle as far as going out and partying and stuff? Just curious....

[scatcatfhsu]

And as far as saying I wouldn't take anything away from this guy (and still won't), I just also wanted to say that when he does blurt into a conversation he does seem very interesting -- so much so that he's actually probably leaving to begin a Doctorate degree -- but he'll start talking about a video game, favorite radio station, or television show and will always get the "AWWW... When he says stuff like that, he's just so cute." What gives here?

[SarahRose]

Is he good looking?

[mystik]

Is he good looking?

 

I was going to ask the exact same thing. When someone is new, how they're going to be perceived by the opposite sex is going to be majorly based on looks. Superficial, maybe...but, it's true.

[scatcatfhsu]

As for looks, I would probably say that he's a bit above average (although some of the women would probably say that a little differently... as in saying he was very nice looking). Anyways, I mean... they notice a lot about him. He can not wear his glasses and wear contacts and he automatically has every one of them talking about how much older he looks without them, etc. So he is, for some reason, very noticeable. When you do get a few words out of him, it seems to be enough for the women that are around to smile about. Even though it rarely happens, he can normally ask one of these girls to lunch or something and automatically land it. I can remember he sent an e-mail (because the whole office was talking about how "cool" and "cute" it was and everything) asking about six women (obviously his favorites) to go to lunch one Monday (because he had apparently forgotten to bring his own or something weird happened) and it turns out he had a lunch with five different women (one each day). So it's not exactly as if he is ugly and I will also say that I know (from hearing them talk) that he is REALLY smart and must be fairly smart with money as he has bought land in a nice neighborhood north of here (which MANY of them talk about). Maybe it's just that he does have a lot going for him or maybe they just really are curious about the things this guy says and does.

 

I know we recently got a new girl and she smiles largely and ALWAYS acknowledges him with a hello. I am always just sort of looked at as if I don't belong anywhere around her.... What's up guys?

[stolenshadow]

Some girls like shy guys but I don't think this guy is shy at all, he "seems" shy but some of his actions actually sound like the ones of a player.

 

My guess is he's one of those guys who learnt early on that pretending to be something you are not can give you almost the same results than being a great person.

I think he just plays well, he gets exactly what he wants out of girls, nothing more nothing less.

 

And, there's the money and looks thing too, those can attract a very specific kind of girl.

 

But, I think he's just fake, and getting people to like you for something you're not can't be that good.

[scatcatfhsu]

Thanks...

 

I just still really think he seems "unsure" of himself and really shy. Even after being asked by several people to come around, he just sort of stays to himself.

 

Maybe some women just want somebody like that because they feel as though they'll be more loyal to them or something (with the way he acts).

 

Hmm....

[stolenshadow]

Most people do want to be with a person who doesn't act like they'll go after the next attractive human that talks to them, but, acting loyal is not the same as being loyal. There are plenty of examples of those who swear they just want monogamy (for example) and turn out to be regular cheaters.

 

So, I would just say not everything is what it seems.

[New_Horizons]

Let me tell you from experience that girls DO NOT like shy guys. There may be exceptions but there are exceptions in everything. Older women are more likely to like shy guys but by then the shy guy has become jaded and bitter after being rejected during the prime of his life.

[New_Horizons]

Just curious...why do you say that his "hey" in response to their "hello" is rude? I'm shy and I often conduct monosyllabic conversations with girls but I didn't know it was being percieved as rude. I'm genuinely concerned here because it may explain (in part) my lack of success.

[Kevin T]

It's true; it's all about looks.

 

If he's shy and hot, great!

 

If he's shy and not, then girls couldn't care less.

 

Fact of life.

[Shinobie]

It's true; it's all about looks.

 

If he's shy and hot, great!

 

If he's shy and not, then girls couldn't care less.

 

Fact of life.

 

Just that staement right there states how this world is complete bull.People born good looking that did nothing for it at all.We live in a crappy world with probably 92%+ of it being full of a bunch of shallow, phony, jerks.This is true and I try too accept it.

[Kevin T]

But my friend, "that's the way she goes."

[Seko]

Just that staement right there states how this world is complete bull.People born good looking that did nothing for it at all.We live in a crappy world with probably 92%+ of it being full of a bunch of shallow, phony, jerks.This is true and I try too accept it.

Right, and I guess it sucks for some people that a person's physical appearance is the first thing one notices when looking at someone. However, after the initial "this person in front of me is ugly/handsome/gorgeous", there is time for other things. Instead of trying to accept that everyone is just shallow and phony, why not try and develop other areas of yourself?

If you are an ugly guy (and I'm not saying you are Shinobie. I'm just adressing 'you' as a general term to anyone reading), you can make yourself more appealing by leading a healthy lifestyle - become active. Work out. Don't eat junk food. Easier said than done, of course, but many women melt for six packs, build chests, or built arms, even if the guy isn't that attractive in other ways (like his face, or even his height).

If that is too much work for you, well, then you should work on not being so shy. Even if you are the biggest genius to ever grace this planet, or if you are hilarious once you open up...the girl will never know this unless you try and overcome your shyness. Girls go for the good looking shy guy becuase they see something appealing. How are they supposed to know there is anything else appealing about him if he never says anything? Can you blame them for not being interested?

 

I'm not disagreeing with you guys (Shinobie and Kevin T). Girls are definitely going to go for a shy good looking guy over a shy average or plain guy. Also, yes, lots of people in this world are shallow, phony, jerks. However, this doesn't mean there is no hope! Average and even ugly guys get girls all the time - even really hot ones. It's very possible. But only if the guy can talk to the girls

[jack_2020]

Are you kidding me? the shy guys doesn't need to talk to all. All they have to do is listen.. and ask questions -- of course smart and savy questions. While the girl, talks and talks until it the sun goes down.

 

The down part is when the guys start to talk about themselves. The girls go Z z z z.....*yawn*

 

So the shy guy might as well hand over the microphone to her all day.

[koolaidnovel]

Mysteriousness is one good thing.

 

I think girls like shy guys sometimes because vulnerability brings out the "nurturing" part of someone's personality...

 

And also, girls think that a shy guy won't be able to "up and leave" them for another girl... that is, a girl might assume that a shy guy is not a player and will be loyal to them.

[Seko]

Are you kidding me? the shy guys doesn't need to talk to all. All they have to do is listen.. and ask questions -- of course smart and savy questions. While the girl, talks and talks until it the sun goes down.

 

The down part is when the guys start to talk about themselves. The girls go Z z z z.....*yawn*

 

So the shy guy might as well hand over the microphone to her all day.

Oh, stereotypes. How I love thee.

I'm glad you feel you have so much authority and knowledge in this department, Jack.

Enjoy trying to date with that mindset And don't be surprised if, what with you never ever saying anything, you do end up with the talkative girls who don't notice. All the other girls will find your lack of anything interesting to say boring and not want to go out with you again.

 

Funny how we fulfill our own prophecies.

[LIFE]

Just that staement right there states how this world is complete bull.People born good looking that did nothing for it at all.We live in a crappy world with probably 92%+ of it being full of a bunch of shallow, phony, jerks.This is true and I try too accept it.

 

 

 

You can't control the way you look, it has nothing to do with working hard or anything.

[samvons]

I've seen some EXTREMELY shy friends have girls approach them simply out of pity too but it ended up in a date eventually

[Kevin T]

You can't control the way you look, it has nothing to do with working hard or anything.

 

But you can control how you act, and that will either repel or attract women to you. Simple as that.

[Use name]

I'm pretty sure he's not really a shy guy. Some people are quiet but not shy.

 

Anyway there was a girl that liked me in part because of my shyness, but she was a crazy party girl drama-queen and she was kinda ashamed about it. Maybe some crazy girls want shy guys to make themselves more "controlled"? I don't know.

[Kyoshiro Ogari]

Is he good looking?

haha, I was going to sarcastically ask the same question and fear for being typical Kyoshiro. Here's why.

 

Good looking shy new guy comes into office. They say "Hi!" He says, "Hey." "Gee, I wonder..." they'll most likely think to themselves, peaking their interest at what package lies underneath the beautiful wrapping. does he have a girlfriend? What's his bag?

 

Ugly shy guy comes into the office. If he gets a "Hi!" then he just met the friendly girl in the office. Maybe just to be courteous, they'll say "Hi."

 

The new cute guy will be invited to lunch or even office circles. The ugly shy guy will make some friends, but it will take some time and more effort on his part. If he's a problem solver, he has a chance to make friends. Nothing more.

 

Heaven forbid the ugly shy guy comes first and falls for one of his co-workers who barely know he's alive, only to see her get smitten over the new hot shy guy who made little if any effort to get her attention.

 

And they wonder why we ugly guys and girls are shy to begin with and have low self esteem and a hopeless contempt for our physical being. It's nobody's fault, but it's a two way street. ](*,)

[MissDashwood]

Let me give my 2 cents as I am a girl who happens to go for shy guys all the time.

 

First, let's identify what shy really is: Shy is what you call someone who isn't good at socializing with new people or who doesn't always take part in conversations, typically because what is being talked about may not interest them. Almost always a shy person will "scope" out a person and wait to be addressed; and if they are addressed and there is a good topic at hand, then generally a shy peson becomes extremely talkative and can put forth commentary. It's normally just about feeling awkward with new people is all, and awkward not knowing what to say.

 

However, a reserved person is the type who just doesn't talk to anyone and even when addressed may not have much to say. That doesn't mean they don't have anything to say - it just means it will be really hard to get it out of them or they may have a social problem with handling new people and talking. It just depends. But in the case of people who you think are shy, the key is to be the one to take the initiative to talk because they're not going to. And if after a few minutes you don't manage to get words out of them, then they might just not be into talking at all.

 

Now, as for shy GUYS, yes, they are sometimes more appealing to females. Typically it is shy guys who shy girls go for, in my case, or older women who see the benefit of a shy guy. But rarely will you find an outgoing girl going after a shy guy.

 

So, an example of a great shy guy with the positive characteristics a girl such as myself goes for: Alan Rickman. Based on what his fans, and I am one, know of him, he has the following traits:

*Thoughtful and quiet, but outgoing and friendly once you know him

*Very manly, but displays feminine characteristics that reveal a softer, more vulnerable side

*Charming and extremely funny

*Sensual in a romantic light, sexual in a fiery light

*Handsome and attractive in a strange way - very boyish-looking but also has mysterious eyes with a voice that makes every one of his female fans swoon; many like his smile as well and ironically, the lines of his face give him this "lived-in" look and it does make him more appealing; suggests wisdom and girls go for that

*Very educated, well-read, and sophisticated; but also has a rebellious, fun-loving side (is a fan of the film CHASING AMY and loves roller coasters)

*Has more polished tastes in music and the arts - loves going to the movies, theatre, loves classical music but also likes Coldplay, and loves reading and travel; but also will put on a good game of soccer/football or a tennis match and go down to a pub to enjoy the festivities

*Strikes women as understanding of females and knowledgeable of what makes them happy and aims to please

*Kind and caring, all-around nice person and someone you never have to worry would be the type to hurt you in any way

*Very timid and so thereforeeee pleasant and lovely to be around; nothing but positivity; not an an obnoxious or rude bone in his body - is not the type of guy who's going to whistle when a girl walks past and say some filthy line.

 

This is the type of guy I go for and frankly, you don't find them anywhere really. From what I've heard, Alan Rickman is the only guy walking around with these qualities, but then again I haven't done comparative studies yet.

 

The type of guy I've described is a guy who isn't doing anything wrong in a woman's eye: He's manly enough to not be a wimp, but he's vulnerable enough to not be cold and impersonal; he can go enjoy the symphony with a girl but also be rowdy for the sports team he supports; low-maintenance when a guy's favorite things to do are go to the movies and the theatre and reading; has that sensuality meaning he is gentle, bit can turn on the rough sexuality when called upon. He is good-looking but not to the point where you worry that he's too pretty for you (how many girls will agree that though Brad Pitt is beautiful, they'd feel self-conscious next to a man like him?). Also, while Rickman can enjoy a film like CHASING AMY and go to a theme park to have fun, he is also very intelligent and you know that you would find stimulating conversation. And also that he's one who will talk. There's nothing worse than being with a guy who doesn't want to talk to you about anything because he either doesn't have much to say to girls or because he doesn't have anything meaningful to say at all!

[Dating Coach]

I'm curious as to what's so rude about saying "hey" to a girl who walks by and says "hi"?

[Dating Coach]

Some girls like shy guys but I don't think this guy is shy at all, he "seems" shy but some of his actions actually sound like the ones of a player.

 

My guess is he's one of those guys who learnt early on that pretending to be something you are not can give you almost the same results than being a great person.

I think he just plays well, he gets exactly what he wants out of girls, nothing more nothing less.

But, I think he's just fake, and getting people to like you for something you're not can't be that good.

 

Did we read the same post? I saw absolutely nothing about this guy that said he was being a player or being fake. Where are you pulling these assumptions from?