Advice...thoughts anything please..

[icanttakeitanymore]

I didn't know which place to put this really so I put it here.

 

If you've seen any of my other threads you'll see I had issues with my Ex, umm then I've kind of been dating or seeing (whatever) this guy from work. He's sweet, treats me like gold, takes time out of what he's doing just to come see me, everything good you can ask for in a guy.

 

Anyway, so I dont know if it's just me being like this because of my horrible relationship before or what but as much as he says and shows me he does like me I don't believe him. Everyone around me says "Yes he does you know he does look what he does for you and how he treats you." But I just think, they why do I feel like I'm just not worth it to him, or not good enough to be around him and I'm always questioning if he is really having a good time, even when it's obvious he is having a good time! I also just think I'm hideous to him.

He has a lot of girl friends that I know he doesn't like or antyhing but I always ask him why he's with me when there are even more attractive girls around him. I dont' know non of this may make sense.

 

It's like I can't trust anyone anymore, and actually think that they may actually like me! Like I'm some horrible person or something. I feel annoying to him to cause I always ask if he's mad, if he's really having a good time, stuff like that. He notices I ask alot and tries to make me understand that he does and he has never been mad. I dont know why I think like this.

 

I just don't seem to have any positive to think about...any advice or thoughts would be great!

[Beyondthesea]

I'm actually the same way with my now fiance. I still constantly ask if he is happy, if he's having a good time, if he is happy with me, etc. It's from being in relationships were you felt 'at fault' all the time, or like things were being withheld from you. It's sad and it's hard.

 

My suggestion: actions speak louder than words. How does he treat you? Then make your decision about his feelings. Also, I write in a journal and that minimizes my insecurities and helps to get some emotional baggage off your back.

[icanttakeitanymore]

I have a journal, never write in it, but maybe I'll start if it helps you.

 

He treats me great! You can tell he cares how I feel and listens to what I say, wants to see me. But I always doubt.

 

Also, I guess I'll mention this, he does ballroom stuff for Uni. So he obviously knows a lot of girls and has a lot of them as friends. I've never dated someone with friends that are girls. And it kinda bugs me. Should I be worried that something more may happen?

 

I've aske dhim before "do i need to worry about your dance partners or anything?" he just says "I know alot of girls, some are really pretty, but I'm not attracted to them like I am you, I dont like their personality like i love yours. And at the end of the day I want to come see you. Not spend time with them"

 

I dont know how it works with guys and girls as friends..cause I know most guy just want action, but can they be different? I have guy friends that know don't want to get with me or whatever cause they have girlfriends and adore them. SO I know it's possible but it just worries me I guess.

[Beyondthesea]

Should I be worried that something more may happen?

 

Honestly, he sounds a LOT like my fiance. He is also friends with a great deal of females and it took me a lot of time to get used to it and not feel like he was going to jump on one of them.

 

If he's honest and good-hearted, you don't have to worry. Females love having male friends who aren't about to jump them too, so it's no wonder he's a popular guy.

 

Take it slow with him, at a level comfortable for you, but remember that his actions are showing he's a really lovely man

[Momene]

I'd believe him. Your messages tell me you're a kind, thoughtful girl and your picture tells me you're pretty.