Tribute to Calgaryguy: How many of you Part II

[backinlife]

Hey,

 

Calgaryguy is my hero, he did it man. I read some of his posts to find out the secret to getting back together and came accross a post where he tries to find data on getting back together...And I think we should try that again and see how things look now. So please just give data on the following questions for each of your EX (doesn't matter wether you have gotten back together or not):

 

1. Are you Dumper or Dumpee in this relationship, was it maybe more complicated than that, or did you both agree it was better to part?

 

2. how long was the

a.) relationship before breakup

b.) break

c.) time of NC

d.) relationship after getting back together (if applicaple)

 

3. Who initiated contact after NC (Dumper or Dumpee) (answer no matter whether you are friends now or got back together)

 

4. If applicable: Who initiated getting back together? (Dumper or Dumpee)

 

5. If not back together: are you friends now (rate friendship on a scale from 1 for "we kind of still talk" to 10 "Best friend"

 

6. Do you think getting back was/ would have been a good idea?

 

7. Reason for breakup given by the dumper (check one or more)

a)Love died

b.)Too much fighting

c.)Change in living situation (like going back to colleague, changin jobs, etc)

d.)Distance (physical)

e.)Cheating (as in sex)

f.)Affair (as in love for another plus sex)

g.)Emotional Cheating (as in love for another)

h.)Wants to see what else is "out there"

i.) sudden insecurity about own personality "being lost"

j.) different friends group or different setting, where partner doesn't fit in anymore

k.) family pressure against the relationship

l.) friend's pressure against the relationship

m.) too young for serious relationship

n.) other: (please specify short)

 

8. Real reasons (make a guess if you are not the dumper)

a)Love died

b.)Too much fighting

c.)Change in living situation (like going back to colleague, changin jobs, etc)

d.)Distance (physical)

e.)Cheating (as in sex)

f.)Affair (as in love for another plus sex)

g.)Emotional Cheating (as in love for another)

h.)Wants to see what else is "out there"

i.) sudden insecurity about own personality "being lost"

j.) different friends group or different setting, where partner doesn't fit in anymore

k.) family pressure against the relationship

l.) friend's pressure against the relationship

m.) too young for serious relationship

n.) other: (please specify short)

9: Rate this relationship according to importance for your life in retrospect from 1 "just a crush, now that i think about it" to 10 "This was the one"

 

10: Rate you feelings about this relationship now from 1-10, 1 being " I am completely unsathisfied with this relationship, it leaves a bad taste" to 10 "something real good came out of this for me"

 

11. Comments: Crucial things we need to know about this relationship

 

EDIT: 12: If applicable: What was the reason for getting back together on your side

 

a.) Love

b.) Hurt feelings

c.) Problems had solved

d.) Trust that problems could be solved

e.) missing the partner

f.) realizing the partner was the one

g.) didn't manage to find someone better

h.) friends told me to

i.) other

 

 

Here is the old post

 

 

The more answers, the more significant the results, lets find out the patterns of getting back together!!! Science is a beautiful thing to hold on to...

 

Please take the time to answer, I think this could get interesting, I will put the effort of analyzig the data... If you don't feel comfortable about posting the results here, just PM me, I will include your data, but won't publish your individual results...

 

I will answer first... i hope its not too complicated.

 

Thanks

Mona

[backinlife]

1. Dumper

2.

a.) 16 month

b.) 1 month

c.) 2 weeks

d.) 1 month

3. Dumper

4. Dumper

5. 2

6. No

7. b, c, h,

8. b, c,, h, l

9: 4

10.: 6

12: b,e,h

 

1. Dumper

2.

a.) 23 months

b.) --

c.) 3 years

d.) --

3. Dumpee

4. --

5. 1

6. No

7. b, c, h,

8. a, b, d, h,

9: 5

10: 6

 

1. Dumpee?

2. how long was the

a.) 6 months

b.)

c.) 1 year

d.)

3. Dumpee

4.

5. 2

6. yes

7. k,l,m

8. k,l,m

9: 8

10. 7

[PRSOV]

1. Are you Dumper or Dumpee in this relationship, was it maybe more complicated than that, or did you both agree it was better to part?

 

The dumpee... we both knew that it was coming though.

 

2. how long was the

a.) relationship before breakup

b.) break

c.) time of NC

d.) relationship after getting back together (if applicaple)

 

a) Five months

b) One month

c) Two weeks

d) Still going

 

3. Who initiated contact after NC (Dumper or Dumpee) (answer no matter whether you are friends now or got back together)

 

I initiated and maintained NC, she kept breaking it... obviously after a while I found it hard to keep up and broke it 2/2

 

4. If applicable: Who initiated getting back together? (Dumper or Dumpee)

 

Dumper

 

5. If not back together: are you friends now (rate friendship on a scale from 1 for "we kind of still talk" to 10 "Best friend"

 

Not applicable

 

6. Do you think getting back was would have been a good idea?

 

Yes definitely, after we broke up we couldn't stop thinking about each other.

 

7. Reason for breakup given by the dumper (check one or more)

a)Love died

b.)Too much fighting

c.)Change in living situation (like going back to colleague, changin jobs, etc)

d.)Distance (physical)

e.)Cheating (as in sex)

f.)Affair (as in love for another plus sex)

g.)Emotional Cheating (as in love for another)

h.)Wants to see what else is "out there"

i.) sudden insecurity about own personality "being lost"

j.) different friends group or different setting, where partner doesn't fit in anymore

k.) family pressure against the relationship

l.) friend's pressure against the relationship

m.) too young for serious relationship

n.) other: (please specify short)

 

b, c, m.

 

8. Real reasons (make a guess if you are not the dumper)

a)Love died

b.)Too much fighting

c.)Change in living situation (like going back to colleague, changin jobs, etc)

d.)Distance (physical)

e.)Cheating (as in sex)

f.)Affair (as in love for another plus sex)

g.)Emotional Cheating (as in love for another)

h.)Wants to see what else is "out there"

i.) sudden insecurity about own personality "being lost"

j.) different friends group or different setting, where partner doesn't fit in anymore

k.) family pressure against the relationship

l.) friend's pressure against the relationship

m.) too young for serious relationship

n.) other: (please specify short)

9: Rate this relationship according to importance for your life in retrospect from 1 "just a crush, now that i think about it" to 10 "This was the one"

 

see above...

 

10: Rate you feelings about this relationship now from 1-10, 1 being " I am completely unsathisfied with this relationship, it leaves a bad taste" to 10 "something real good came out of this for me"

 

9/10, I am completely satisifed now. It both made us realise different things about each other and the break confirmed this for us.

 

 

EDIT: 12: If applicable: What was the reason for getting back together on your side

 

a.) Love

b.) Hurt feelings

c.) Problems had solved

d.) Trust that problems could be solved

e.) missing the partner

f.) realizing the partner was the one

g.) didn't manage to find someone better

h.) friends told me to

i.) other

 

a, d, e, f - I knew this before also

[calgaryguy]

Dumpee

 

Almost 3 years

6 months

about 3 ish or so

 

she did

 

She did

 

were dating again so 10+ i suppose

 

Yes a great idea

 

she needed some time to figure stuff out after a family death and some hard times

 

I agree with her reason

 

10+

 

she said she never fell out of love with me, she basically looked at it as some time for both of us to become stronger

 

a) Love

 

 

Thanx for doing this Mona, I kind of lost track of the original survay

 

COME ON PEOPLE HELP OUT WITH THIS ONE!!!!!!!

[blueberrypie]

1. Are you Dumper or Dumpee in this relationship?

 

Dumpee

 

2. how long was the

a.) relationship before breakup

b.) break

c.) time of NC

d.) relationship after getting back together (if applicaple)

 

a) 10 1/2 months

b) 7 weeks ago

 

 

3. Who initiated contact after NC (Dumper or Dumpee) (answer no matter whether you are friends now or got back together)

 

Dumper

 

 

4. If applicable: Who initiated getting back together? (Dumper or Dumpee)

 

N/A

 

5. If not back together: are you friends now (rate friendship on a scale from 1 for "we kind of still talk" to 10 "Best friend"

 

0~1

 

6. Do you think getting back was/ would have been a good idea?

 

would be. I hope so.

 

 

7. Reason for breakup given by the dumper (check one or more)

 

c.)Change in living situation (like going back to colleague, changin jobs, etc)

d.)Distance (physical)

h.)Wants to see what else is "out there"

m.) too young for serious relationship

 

8. Real reasons (make a guess if you are not the dumper)

n.) other: (please specify short)

 

Think he got scared of a serious relationship and wanted to see what's out there. also pressure from graduation and going abroad.

 

9: Rate this relationship according to importance for your life in retrospect from 1 "just a crush, now that i think about it" to 10 "This was the one"

10

 

 

10: Rate you feelings about this relationship now from 1-10, 1 being " I am completely unsathisfied with this relationship, it leaves a bad taste" to 10 "something real good came out of this for me"

still trying to figure out.

 

11. Comments: Crucial things we need to know about this relationship

it was reverse age-gap, interracial relationship. I've never even dreamed of being in this relationship. But aginst all these it felt so right when we were together. He always said it felt so right and rational. He doubted the relationship once because it felt so rational. Cause there was no irrational part(this was what he said).

Maybe he will come to his mind and come back to me?

 

 

EDIT: 12: If applicable: What was the reason for getting back together on your side

 

a.) Love

b.) Hurt feelings

c.) Problems had solved

d.) Trust that problems could be solved

e.) missing the partner

f.) realizing the partner was the one

g.) didn't manage to find someone better

h.) friends told me to

i.) other

[mikeca]

see how that works

[NCTuskie]

1. Are you Dumper or Dumpee in this relationship, was it maybe more complicated than that, or did you both agree it was better to part?

Dumpee

 

2. how long was the

a.) relationship before breakup 4 Months

b.) break Three Weeks

c.) time of NC Three Weeks

d.) relationship after getting back together (if applicaple)

 

3. Who initiated contact after NC (Dumper or Dumpee) (answer no matter whether you are friends now or got back together)

She Has

 

4. If applicable: Who initiated getting back together? (Dumper or Dumpee)

N/A

 

5. If not back together: are you friends now (rate friendship on a scale from 1 for "we kind of still talk" to 10 "Best friend" N/A... Still in NC

 

6. Do you think getting back was/ would have been a good idea?

I think it would be if we take our time

 

7. Reason for breakup given by the dumper (check one or more)

 

c.)Change in living situation (like going back to colleague, changin jobs, etc)

Needs Space

 

8. Real reasons (make a guess if you are not the dumper)

a)Love died

c.)Change in living situation (like going back to colleague, changin jobs, etc)

 

9: Rate this relationship according to importance for your life in retrospect from 1 "just a crush, now that i think about it" to 10 "This was the one"

 

10: Rate you feelings about this relationship now from 1-10, 1 being " I am completely unsathisfied with this relationship, it leaves a bad taste" to 10 "something real good came out of this for me" 9

 

 

 

11. Comments: Crucial things we need to know about this relationship

 

EDIT: 12: If applicable: What was the reason for getting back together on your side

 

a.) Love

c.) Problems had solved

d.) Trust that problems could be solved

e.) missing the partner

f.) realizing the partner was the one

[calgaryguy]

Come on everyone We need your support here!!!! It only takes a minute!!!!

[mamy123]

1. Are you Dumper or Dumpee in this relationship, was it maybe more complicated than that, or did you both agree it was better to part?

dumpee

 

2. how long was the

a.) relationship before breakup just under 1 year

b.) break 6-7 weeks

c.) time of NC a month

d.) relationship after getting back together (if applicaple) we just established tonight that we're back together, but i hope it's great!

 

3. Who initiated contact after NC (Dumper or Dumpee) (answer no matter whether you are friends now or got back together)

I did, the dumpee

 

4. If applicable: Who initiated getting back together? (Dumper or Dumpee)

me, dumpee

 

5. If not back together: are you friends now (rate friendship on a scale from 1 for "we kind of still talk" to 10 "Best friend"

we're back together

 

6. Do you think getting back was/ would have been a good idea?

i hope so!

 

7. Reason for breakup given by the dumper (check one or more)

i.) sudden insecurity about own personality "being lost"

n.) other: he didn't want to hurt me by not being around all the time. he travels a lot for work.

 

8. Real reasons (make a guess if you are not the dumper)

see above

 

9: Rate this relationship according to importance for your life in retrospect from 1 "just a crush, now that i think about it" to 10 "This was the one"

9 to 10

 

10: Rate you feelings about this relationship now from 1-10, 1 being " I am completely unsathisfied with this relationship, it leaves a bad taste" to 10 "something real good came out of this for me"

 

i'm hoping for a 10 here

 

11. Comments: i had been stressed out and insecure about the relationship, he thought I wouldn't be able to handle times when he'd have to be away from home. i told him he was wrong and he missed me, so went on a date. i gave him my terms for getting back together and he's agreed to them!

 

EDIT: 12: If applicable: What was the reason for getting back together on your side

 

d.) Trust that problems could be solved