he broke up with me...

[butterflies]

he made up his decision, and yes, to break up (ouch!!!). he's really attracted to me in every way. the reason is just the distance.

 

I don't blame him why would you want a relationship with me when you can't take the distance? i know he got into this relationship, becuz he thought he can visit me every month or thought that he can move to the country i live in after a few months. But it didn't turn out that way for some reasons. i'm sure his job and learning the lannguage there are some of the reasons.

 

he said we can still keep in touch and hope that someday we can live closer and have a chance to try again. i said i can't keep in touch with him for now, i need time to heal and let him know if i'm ready to keep in touch. i don't know if i did the right thing here.

 

i know that right now, i should go out with my friends instead of staying at home crying. but i don't want to go out with my friends cuz all they do is clubbing or parties. what else can i do?

[PRSOV]

If you truly feel that way, then yes you did the right thing... For both you and him.

 

It's all about doing what is best for both of you. Obviously there aren't grounds because of certain factors (example - distance) that you cannot have a relationship.

 

You have the added advantage of trying again in the future should that opportunity present itself again. Be gracious that things have ended on good terms.

 

Take care of yourself, you are your number one priority for now... nobody else.

[yeawutever]

Yes, you did do the right thing. Distance relation do get do get very tedious at some point, if you don't get to be with your partner that much anymore then I would see no point.

[arwen]

Hey butterflies,

 

You will be fine in time. Long distance relationships are very difficult (not impossible, but not everyone can have them and be happy with it). I am sure your ex loved you very much, and that he's having a hard time as well. He just wants to be closer, and that being impossible, is very frustrating. I had a bf 1500 km away and we broke up for the same reasons. I remember only good things of him, but it was true, we couldn't really have the relationship and feel happy with it. Most of the time we spent missing each other, and because we were not physically close, it made us drift apart even if we didn't want to.

 

Take care,

 

Ilse

[Beyondthesea]

I'm so sorry you are feeling so hurt right now. I wanted to offer some suggestions for your time.

 

Right now you have 'life routines' you have probably stopped due to being upset. Although it sounds weird, that's the worst thing you can do. Try to get back into the 'swing of things' and keep going.

 

I would also look into a few new activities and hobbies if you aren't into the partying and clubbing. Join a new activity club that you enjoy and go by yourself! I have done this and met some really great friends.

 

Big hugs!!!

[Siriana]

You've done the right thing.

Spend some time alone till the first step of post brake up ends and than start clubbing!

[butterflies]

I'm going to do NC until i'm completely heal but his bday is near ( a week).

 

should i send him an email/ecard/text/call when his bday come?

[blueberrypie]

I gave a lot of thought on it. My ex's bday was one month from our breakup. At that time I decided to do total NC, so I didn't send any message. It's been 3 weeks and now I'm regretting and planning to send a belated bday message. You may think differently. But I thought you would want to hear from someone similar to your situation. (our breakup was caused also by the fact that we were going to do a long distance. We didn't actually do the long distance yet, but he thought we could ruin what we had by doing it, gave up on us, and left the possibility open for when he comes back which is 6 months from then.)

[skyjuice]

Hi

 

I wishes you all the best.

 

Hope that both of your life path will cross again.

 

Have faith!

[Allie.]

aww hon,

you did the right thing. the time right after a break-up is supposed to be about you. you're supposed to heal on your own. NC allows you to heal and healing enables you to realize that its okay to be alone. Of course, it may not be great. But you'll be fine [= You're in a better position than some people already. Some of us resort to drugs and violence and etc. Hmm. I haven't been in a long-distance relationship ever but I'm sure the healing process is going to be same. give yourself time to heal. its not "you and him" its only "you" now. Give it time, time, time and more time.

 

Always,

Allie.