need help desperately the inevitable has to implemented sooner rather than later

[langford]

Here is an option which is frequently shot out at me everytime I get suicidal.Go spend a few weeks in Africa,people there can't afford depression or anxiety,its an expensive luxury only we seem to be able to afford .For some reason being told this crap over and over always works for me.My parents grew up in extemely harsh circumstances and won't tolerate self pitying/woe is me etc etc.This attitude has been the best anti depressant i've ever received.Sorry if this offends anyone,but it has worked for me and puts my negativity and obession with my own life and problems into perspective.It may not work you.

 

From what ive read you've accomplished more and have far greater opportunties than many of us,your future will continue to be as bleak as you paint it.

[nottoogreen]

Here is a thread by a 16 year old girl which may help you. She understands the need for balance. You can change yourself for your future! Suicidal thoughts. I understand it is hard for you. Your change will be your cure and balance is it!

[Spugly Fuglet]

hows it going? did we help any?

I hope so, how about you let us know it will make our day.

Spugly

[eternally doomed]

Here is an option which is frequently shot out at me everytime I get suicidal.Go spend a few weeks in Africa,people there can't afford depression or anxiety,its an expensive luxury only we seem to be able to afford .For some reason being told this crap over and over always works for me.My parents grew up in extemely harsh circumstances and won't tolerate self pitying/woe is me etc etc.This attitude has been the best anti depressant i've ever received.Sorry if this offends anyone,but it has worked for me and puts my negativity and obession with my own life and problems into perspective.It may not work you.

 

From what ive read you've accomplished more and have far greater opportunties than many of us,your future will continue to be as bleak as you paint it.

 

I know all the bleak statistics on world poverty. I've studied it myself and i've been to those places myself. I've been i am aware that the world has more than enough food to feed everyone but 1 out 5 people has no santitation or adequate food.Iam aware that there is something known as the manslow hierachy of needs which indicates that someone will think about having enough to eat before thinking about relationships. The things that i dont understand is that everyone assumes that i know nothing. I am not the typical uneducated ignorant idiot and i do not appreciate being treated that way. I only have to say i didnt make this decision without taking these into account. anyway there is nothing more for me to say except that the end is near

[nottoogreen]

Selflessness makes a good AD indeed. However it does not solve the problem either.

[Bethany]

I am not the typical uneducated ignorant idiot and i do not appreciate being treated that way.

 

I am so tempted to say then stop acting like one. Most of us who have replied to your posts understand depression like the back of our hands and I for one, cannot understand why a man who has everything to live for cannot see what we can see.

Life really is too short to be contemplating death every minute of the day. If you can't stop, seek help from a doctor if you find none here or think we are patronising you.

 

Some of us have had real traumas happen already, death of loved ones, rape, abuse and suffered real clinical depression in our life and yet we survived through perseverance and hope, battling against all odds to survive and now some of us pass on our coping mechanisms to help others, is that such a bad thing? Isn't that what this site is about, helping others, sharing and supporting others in need?I'm sorry you feel that way..

 

Life is NOT that bad when you make the decision to face life and live. But ultimately the choice is yours, and if you really do choose to run away from things you cannot face, all I can say.... spare a thought for the person who finds you. God help them.

[eternally doomed]

I'm sure the person that finds me will not be adversely affected. That person probably woulndnt have befriended me anyway if i am alive. It is ridiculous to call who kill themselves selfish. They are the selfish ones because they are usually indifferent to people that needs desperate help. I will be counting my days from now

[Managor]

It is ridiculous to call who kill themselves selfish

 

Killing yourself will take your own pain away while putting your family, friends and anyone else that knew you into a great deal of pain, ergo it is selfish.

[nottoogreen]

I second that, my dad did that 32 years ago.

[eternally doomed]

Killing yourself will take your own pain away while putting your family, friends and anyone else that knew you into a great deal of pain, ergo it is selfish.

 

I have none of the above. i dont have friends and i only have a family in name (which doesnt really count as a functioning family relationship). However, i have assembled enough medication that i can use when the time comes.

[Bethany]

I'm sure the person that finds me will not be adversely affected.

 

I beg to differ. That's the one thing in life that you CANNOT be sure of.

[nottoogreen]

Have you read my post #28 pointing you to kind of a success story and my post #26 which gives you simple ideas to approach your pain?

[eternally doomed]

I beg to differ. That's the one thing in life that you CANNOT be sure of.

 

Why not? People will be showing more care towards me if they will be adversely affected by that. I am not seeing any indications of that. what i've seen so far is indifference and apathy. Peope dont give enough toss about me to be adversely affected by my suicide. sad but true

[nottoogreen]

What about us here?

[Bethany]

What about us here?

 

Yeah, what about us?

[Managor]

I have none of the above. i dont have friends and i only have a family in name (which doesnt really count as a functioning family relationship). However, i have assembled enough medication that i can use when the time comes.

 

Just because your family isn't functioning very well, or at all, doesn't necessarily mean they don't care for you. Is there really no one that would notice if you were gone? If not, what I said before still holds. If so, have you thought about moving somewhere else, and starting things again, or something like that?

[sonjam]

ED, in my humble opinion you should try and lift your head up from feeling sorry for yourself, and go out there and try to seize the day. The sun shines on you every day, you got a great gift from GOD - being clever and getting the opportunity to have gained a worthwhile education. Stop looking at your own sorrows and implement your great gifts in helping others.

 

Loved ones and friends will flow automatically from that, in abundance

[Spugly Fuglet]

eternally doomed, what I'm going to say now will be harsh but I feel it has to be said. Your not stupid and becouse we do not have agreement with you intention to end your self we are not trying to patrinise you or call you stupid.

 

We care! we really do, why we care is as Beth says some if not all ofus have been through hell amd come out the other side, broken some yes but with joy and hope still.

 

Life IS hard, if you not one of the lucky ones that has a biult in coping mechanicanisem for the hard and bleck time.

 

Life is not far, most of us are not barn with a siver spoon in our mouths. Add to that illnesses, family's and acsedents and you soon have a life full of sorrow and pian.

 

THAT'S LIFE!

 

Well not quite, see there is also joys and wonders (as REM once said) the National world is full of such splender that it makes me cry, and humanity I could whach it for hour, who we interact how we care, even the evil and sefish way we act has such intracasys hidden with in it. our coultur our historys. Then there is our own life, we walk through this world and evey day new things come to us. So many miss the small chages in the world around us. Rain on windows, a flower grows throw a sidewalk.

A child discovers joy in a toy.

Its all around us and we spend our time finding ways not to see, ways to close our minds and bear out joys from us.

 

So you have, yes I'm sorry but its true and your hunt for death is the final sate of this salf bearing you lost act of closing.

 

We here would feel a grate sadness if looking on you sank below the waves.

 

All our atemps to thow the life lines that saved us to you would have failed, we would have failed.

 

I feel that there is even now as the darkness laps at you sides hope if only one of use could get through even for a moment just to let you see the sunlight above.

 

I sorry ED, I'm sorry from the hart of my soul that I failed you. I ask that forgive me my lack of ability.

[Daddy Bear]

so you think you've found the perfect solution to your problems... forget the person who finds your putrid, bloated, discolored corpse and has to clean up the ooze and maggots. forget the person who has to look into your horrifying mask of death and try to make something presentable of it for your funeral. forget the next of kin who has to deal with your foul-smelling personal effects, and the people who have to deliver them. forget those of us here who will carry the guilt around for the rest of our own lives because we couldn't stop you from making this tragic mistake... suicide is painless, right?

 

not on your goddamn life. please don't be so narrow-minded.

 

in truth, the holes in your argument for suicide are so big you could fly a jumbo jetliner through them. open your mind enough to admit that you are losing the debate on every point so far made. stop rationalizing and idealizing suicide! it is not a practical solution, and you damn well know it.

 

ED, i challenge you to take the time to peruse the recent posts of those who are reaching out to help you as you requested in the title of your thread and find the apathy and patronization. it isn't there; it's only in your mind. we all would be sickened if you don't snap out of this self-imposed nosedive. for Christ's sake, pull up on the stick already!

 

think of this: since you're going to kill yourself anyway, the rest of your life is free to do whatever you want--right? complete and total freedom, that's what you have at this moment. tell me, what changes will you have to make in order to forget about this terrible idea?

 

after survivng my own brushes with the Big Sleep, i took as my personal theme song the old classic "I Won't Back Down". you know, this one:

 

Well, I won't back down

No, I won't back down

You can stand me up at the gates of Hell

But I won't back down

 

Gonna stand my ground

Won't be turned around

And I'll keep this world from draggin' me down

Gonna stand my ground

And I won't back down

 

Hey baby, there ain't no easy way out

Hey I will stand my ground

And I won't back down

 

Well I know what's right

I got just one life

In a world that keeps on pushin' me around

But I stand my ground

And I won't back down

 

Hey baby, there ain't no easy way out

Hey I will stand my ground

And I won't back down

No I won't back down.

 

and what would be yours?

 

i would appreciate a reply.

 

"We should all challenge these difficult circumstances." - injured Iraqi boy after bomb blast at soccer camp

[eternally doomed]

For staters, i didnt ask anyone to talk me out of this. There is no need to perceive it as a failure on your part. Joy will always elude some people in this world and this is also something that many people from the west dont seem to understand. Institutionalized racism, genocides i can go on. However, i am in the middle of working out the fatal dosage of the medication that i have at the moment. Please wish me luck in that

[nottoogreen]

Well ED, what can I say other then to wish you all the best on the long journey ahead of you.

 

Over and out.

[eternally doomed]

I think i have worked out a fatal combination of medications after an exhaustive search on the internet. My plan is very close to execution stage. I have zoloft, prozac, aropax, luzox and a few different sleeping pills. I will mix them with pure vodka. I will definitely keep you updated on that. I even have a plan B should that fail. No aspect of my life is going to change anway. I will be continue to be unloved and i have to endure so much sufferings to achieve certain sucesses that really amount to nothing if i continue to be treated like some meaningless wild animal. For example, i dont any form of relationship with my family.Furthermore, I never had a girlfriend and never well. Which girl wants to be with me anyway. Thank you in advance for reading my post

[Fallout]

Hi, I think despite what you're saying you do want help and do want to live doomed, otherwise you wouldn't have posed in here about it 13 times and would have done the deed already. I think for once you should tell us exactly why you can't be happy, seems to me that you came here looking for help but aren't quite ready to open yourself up completely...think of it this way : it doesn't matter, no one knows your real name who u are etc., maybe if you specify your problems exactly people here can give you useful advice..

[eternally doomed]

Hi, I think despite what you're saying you do want help and do want to live doomed, otherwise you wouldn't have posed in here about it 13 times and would have done the deed already. I think for once you should tell us exactly why you can't be happy, seems to me that you came here looking for help but aren't quite ready to open yourself up completely...think of it this way : it doesn't matter, no one knows your real name who u are etc., maybe if you specify your problems exactly people here can give you useful advice..

 

 

I am not dead yet because suicide is a process that requires meticulous planning . I cannot afford a failure because i dont want to be made an involuntary patient in a psychiatric ward or worse still end up physically disabled for the rest of my life. The latter will prevent me from making any subsequent suicide attempts without third party assitance.